Guide Articles Archive

Let’s start with sexual assault.

Sexual assault is a crime under the Criminal Code of Canada. Sexual assault is any type of sexual contact that happens without your consent. It also includes situations in which a person has threatened you to convince you to have sexual contact with them.

There are three degrees of sexual assault

Level 1: Touching, kissing, intercourse, penetration and any other sexual activity that is done without the consent of the other person.
Level 2: When the accused has a weapon, or threatens to use a weapon, when the accused threatens to cause physical harm, causes physical harm, or if the affected person has been sexually assaulted by more than one person in the same incident.
Level 3: Also known as aggravated sexual assault, this occurs when the person who has been sexually assaulted is wounded, maimed, or their life has been endangered. It is also a Level 3 sexual assault if the accused has a gun and threatens to use it.

So it’s sexual assault if:

A co-worker kisses you without your permission.
You get drunk at an office party and wake up realizing someone you work with has had sex with you when you were too intoxicated to consent.
A customer at the restaurant where you work slaps your ass.

But it’s not sexual assault if:

Someone insults you or calls you names.
Someone leers at you, catcalls you, or propositions you.
Someone hugs you or touches you non-sexually.
Someone yells at you or chases you.

It’s important to know that, even if someone’s behaviour meets the legal definition of sexual assault, that doesn’t necessarily mean the police will take it seriously. The police are likely to take action if they think what happened to you was serious. If they think it was trivial or unimportant, they may not.

Should you go to the police if you’ve been sexually assaulted?

Most people don’t. Only about 5% of people who were sexually assaulted go to the police.

Why? Many people believe the police won’t take them seriously. Some are afraid of being judged. Some feel ashamed or guilty, as if what happened was their fault. If they know the assaulter, they may be afraid of retaliation. And some—especially Indigenous, racialized and 2SLGBTQIA+ people—just don’t trust the police at all.

This isn’t unjustified. The police have a really lousy record of handling sexual assault cases. To begin with, they refuse to believe 10% of the people who report assault, and classify their cases as “unfounded.” They’re more likely to believe you if you’re white, if you were injured, if the person who assaulted you was a stranger, if they used a weapon, if you fought back hard, and if you were sober.

A police investigation itself can be traumatizing. Some people have described their experience with the police as so bad it was like a “second rape.” Officers can be rude, abrupt, and judgmental, and some believe outdated rape myths and stereotypes.

Common rape myths:

~~If it didn’t end in sex, it’s not really rape.~~
~~Women “ask for it” by the way they dress or behave.~~
~~If someone is drunk or high, it’s their fault.~~
~~Women lie about being raped because they regret having sex.~~
~~If someone didn’t scream and fight, it wasn’t really rape.~~
~~Men don’t get raped.~~

Even though many people have bad experiences with the police, people who work at sexual assault crisis centres say they would never advise someone not to go the police. They believe it’s important for the person who was assaulted to make their own decision about what to do.

Some people who have been assaulted say publicly seeking justice is a way for them to regain control. Some say that, even though they were pretty sure that the perpetrator wouldn’t be punished, going to the police still made them feel better.

Calgary Communities Against Sexual Abuse (CCASA) has created this list of questions to ask yourself when you’re deciding what to do:

What’s my motivation for reporting to the police?
What will it be like to share detailed information about a traumatic event?
How will I feel if the person who hurt me is not found guilty?
Am I willing to wait for one to two years for the process to be over?
Do I know how to access support if and when I need it?
How will I feel if I don’t report?
How will reporting impact my relationships with my family and friends?

If you go to the police

If you’ve been assaulted and go to the police, you might decide to undergo a medical exam to collect evidence from your body and your clothing. This is called a rape kit, and it has different formal names. It could be a sexual assault evidence kit (SAEK), or sexual assault nurse examination (SANE). The results and any clothing you were wearing could be essential evidence for a later prosecution.

If you decide to go through with a rape kit procedure, experts say you should try to do it within 72 hours of the assault, and you shouldn’t shower first.

The procedure is done at a hospital, and the people there won’t report what happened to the police. You can have the evidence gathered and decide later what you want to do. In some places, you can contact a local sexual assault centre and they will send someone to be with you during the process. You can call 211 to see if there’s a centre close to you.

CCASA has produced a document called Navigating the Criminal Legal System that includes a clear, straightforward guide about what to expect if you go to the police. The details may be different depending on where you live, but overall you can expect the process to be pretty similar to what CCASA describes.

Important

If you go to the police, you don’t have any control over what happens afterward. You don’t get to make the decisions about whether there’s an investigation or prosecution. Those decisions are made by the police and by prosecutors. If the case goes to court, you’ll just be a witness.

If the police decide there’s enough evidence to charge the person who assaulted you, this may eventually lead to a trial, but it could be months or even years before your case comes up.

Court is an adversarial process, and the accused’s lawyer will do what they can to make you seem unreliable and untrustworthy. That could be retraumatizing. It’s important to know that court outcomes are totally discouraging too: Only about one in 10 results in a conviction.

What other types of sexual harassment might break criminal laws

There are other things that harassers do that are illegal under Canadian criminal law and that you might decide to report to the police. Or you might want to tell your HR department, your boss, or your union rep, if you have one. Even if what’s happening isn’t serious enough for you to want to go to the police, your employer may be willing to take steps to protect you. It’s possible to go to the police and raise the issue within your workplace. Doing one doesn’t mean you can’t also do the other.

If you’re considering reporting any of these behaviours, you should collect and save as much evidence as you can. Don’t delete texts or emails. Keep recordings, if you have any. Take screenshots. Take pictures.

Sharing sexual imagery

It’s a crime in Canada to share sexual images of someone without their consent. Under the Criminal Code, this is called “non-consensual distribution of intimate images.”

If someone at work shares sexual pictures or videos of you with other people, they are breaking the law. It doesn’t matter how they got the images, or how they share them.

Indecent communications

It’s a crime for someone to send you sexual images of themselves or other people, including commercial pornography. The Criminal Code prohibits what it calls “indecent communications,” which includes sending sexual communications “with the intent to alarm or annoy.”

Defamation

If someone lies about you in a way that hurts your reputation, exposing you to hatred, contempt, or ridicule, in Canada that can break both civil and criminal laws.

Defamation can be verbal, or it can happen in other ways such as text messages, emails, or social media posts. If someone falsely tells your co-workers you are a pedophile or a drug addict or an abusive parent, that’s defamation.

If someone falsely tells your boss you lied on your job application or you’re stealing from the company, that’s defamation.

But, it’s not defamation to express an opinion. So if a co-worker says you’re lazy or ugly or bad at your job, that’s probably not defamation. If somebody calls you a slur, that may or may not be defamation.

Stalking

In Canada, stalking is against the law. It’s called criminal harassment.

If someone from your work repeatedly shows up at your home uninvited, or if a former partner repeatedly shows up at your workplace, that’s stalking. If a co-worker or customer repeatedly texts you, emails you, or phones you, that can be stalking. If someone watches you and tracks where you go, or follows you around, that’s stalking, too.

The Department of Justice has a really good online pamphlet on stalking, Stalking Is a Crime Called Criminal Harassment.

Doxxing and swatting

Doxxing is when someone publishes personal information about you online, like your home address or your phone number. Usually it’s done to encourage or enable other people to harass you. Swatting is when people deliberately trick the police or other emergency services into going to your house or workplace, by pretending there’s an emergency. The purpose of swatting is to annoy, frighten, or endanger you.

Under Canadian law, both doxxing and swatting are considered forms of criminal harassment.

Voyeurism

A voyeur is someone who records, photographs, or watches you when you think you’re in a private space. Voyeurism is illegal.

Most workplace voyeurism occurs in places where people may be nude or partly nude, like washrooms, changerooms, or dressing rooms. If somebody sets up a secret camera in a washroom at work, that’s voyeurism. If your employer puts a camera in a changeroom, that could be voyeurism. If somebody secretly watches or records you with their phone when you think you’re alone, or secretly takes invasive pictures of you (like aiming their camera up your skirt), that may be voyeurism.

Voyeurism can happen to anyone, but you might be especially at risk if your workplace is also where you live, if your job requires you to change clothes at work, or if you are breastfeeding or pumping milk at work.

Uttering threats

Under the law, “uttering threats” means that someone is threatening you, your property, or your animals.

The threat doesn’t have to be spoken—it can be emailed, texted, or posted on social media. The threat also doesn’t need to be sent directly to you: If someone tells other people they are going to hurt or kill you, including on social media, they are breaking the law.

Hate speech

In Canada it’s a crime to publicly incite hatred against an identifiable group, which means a group distinguishable by “colour, race, religion, national or ethnic origin, age, sex, sexual orientation, gender identity or expression, or mental or physical disability.”

So let’s say someone at your work is posting on social media expressing hostility, intolerance, or violent feelings toward women, or trans people, or Muslim people, or some other group. That person may be committing a crime.

So, should you go to the police?

We can’t answer that for you.

If you go to the police, they may not take you seriously. Or they may start an investigatory and legal process that’s long, painful for you, and doesn’t lead to justice.

Even so, experts say there’s no one right answer. The right answer is what’s right for you. It’s a totally personal decision.

What are the alternatives? Many sexual assault centres have group therapy programs and some offer individual counselling also. Attending to your mental health is vital. It’s possible finding support in the community or with a therapist is the right thing for you instead.

Women and other sexual abuse complainants couldn’t get a fair hearing through institutions, including corporate structures, so they used a new tool, the internet. This has been very effective and has been seen as a massive wake-up call.
Michael Hobbes, journalist and podcast host, You’re Wrong About: “Cancel Culture,” June 7, 2021.

It used to be that people who got sexually harassed told practically no one. But then #MeToo happened.

The #MeToo movement started in late 2017, when American actress Alyssa Milano sent out a tweet asking people to share their stories of sexual harassment and abuse. Millions of people did it, using the hashtag #MeToo.

Seeing all those stories helped people to realize that harassment and abuse are really common, which helped them feel less shame and guilt about their own experiences. That’s why today people are much more likely to share their stories publicly. They do it themselves, usually on social media, or sometimes through the news media, by talking with a journalist.

Here are some real-world stories of people who’ve gone public about being harassed.

In Edmonton in 2017, a man who co-owned a bar repeatedly groped one of the staff. She reported it to management, but nothing was really done about it and he continued to behave badly. Eight months later, she quit her job and made a public Facebook post explaining why. As a result, some of her co-workers also quit, some bands that had been scheduled to play at the bar cancelled, the media covered the story, and the bar ended up shutting down permanently.
In Toronto in 2018, a woman was fired from her job at a tech start-up after she complained to HR about being sexually harassed by one of the company’s executives. In 2019, she tweeted anonymously about what happened to her, the company investigated, and the executive left. She wrote an anonymous essay about what happened and published it on Medium, which led to media coverage, and two months later the company shut down. In 2020, the woman told her entire story to a Global News reporter, who wrote a long article about it using her real name with her permission.
In Montreal in 2020, a woman shared on Instagram her story of being sexually assaulted, which led to dozens of other women sharing similar stories. Some did this under their own accounts, and others were anonymous. Some people named lost their jobs, others apologized publicly, and others threatened to sue for defamation. Afterwards, the Quebec justice minister assembled a group of experts to come up with ways to make it easier for victims of sexual assault to navigate the Quebec justice system.

People go public for lots of reasons. Here are some of the most common:

They want to warn people, so people know to avoid the harasser and/or the harasser’s employer.
They want to publicly shame the harasser, or make sure the harasser understands what they did was wrong and harmful.
They want to publicly shame their employer for not stopping the harassment.
They want to raise awareness of how common harassment is.
They want to build community with other people who’ve had similar experiences.
They want support, catharsis, or healing.

Those are all good reasons to go public—and, in fact, there are no bad reasons. If you want to go public, your reasons are valid, whatever they are.

But going public can have some negative consequences. Here are the most common, and how you can protect yourself against them.

If you go public, you might get sued for defamation

If you say bad things about the harasser or your employer, they might sue you for defamation. “Defamation” is a legal term. It describes what it’s called when someone publicly says something about somebody else that isn’t true and that hurts the other person’s reputation. It can be something published, which is often called “libel,” or something spoken—in some parts of the country, this is called “slander.”

Defamation is a civil complaint, not a criminal one, which means the police aren’t involved.

Anybody can file a defamation case. They don’t have to have a good case; they just need enough money to pay a lawyer.

In many ways, a defamation lawsuit is the perfect tool for men accused of sexual violence. Filing a lawsuit allows men accused of sexual violence to re-cast the narrative about responsibility and blame, and to present themselves as victims of false allegations. It is then up to the defendant to prove that the statements about sexual violence are true.
Mandi Gray, post-doctoral researcher, University of Calgary.
“Cease and Desist/Cease or Resist? Civil Suits and Sexual Violence.”

Here are some examples of situations in which people have been sued for defamation after going public.

In 2018, a Calgary woman wrote an anonymous blog post about being sexually assaulted by a reporter when she had worked at a TV network. While investigating her allegations, the network divulged her name. The accused reporter sued her and the network for $7.5 million.
About five years ago, “Laura” was sexually harassed and assaulted by her boss while on a work trip. She was fired an hour after reporting his behaviour. Her open letter about the assault that she posted on social media resulted in a defamation suit from the organization she’d worked for. The suit wasn’t pursued but she lost her housing as a result of being unemployed.
In 2020, people accused of sexual harassment and assault on a Regina-based woman’s Instagram account threatened to sue her for defamation. As a result, she shut down the account. The woman was never sued, but one man filed a lawsuit against Facebook, which owns Instagram, seeking $1 million in damages.

It’s impossible to know how likely it is that you’ll be sued for defamation. Your odds of getting sued are higher if you name the harasser (or if it’s obvious who they are, even if you don’t name them), if your story gets a lot of attention, if the harasser is well known, if they have a lot of money to hire lawyers, and if they’ve ever sued anyone before.

You can get sued even if what you say is true, and even if you can prove it’s true. Sometimes a harasser will start a defamation lawsuit they know they can’t win to try to get you to change your story or take it down.

If you end up getting sued for defamation, you’ll need to hire a lawyer, and the whole process will be expensive and slow—it’s not unusual for cases to take more than two or more years. A case can fall into “legal limbo,” and can’t be withdrawn for five years. So, if you’re considering going public, and especially if you plan to name the harasser, it’s a good idea to talk with a lawyer first. See How to find and work with a lawyer.

If you go public, strangers might attack and abuse you

Here’s a Japanese journalist describing what happened to her in 2017, after she spoke at a press conference saying she had been raped two years earlier by a colleague:

“The backlash hit me hard. I was vilified on social media and received hate messages and emails and calls from unknown numbers. I was called a ‘slut’ and ‘prostitute’ and told I should ‘be dead.’ There were arguments over my nationality, because a true Japanese woman wouldn’t speak about such ‘shameful’ things. Fake stories popped up online about my private life with photos of my family. I received messages from women criticizing me for failing to protect myself.”

What happened to her is really common. Not everyone who goes public gets attacked and abused, but lots do. Usually this means things like people yelling at you or calling you names online, but sometimes it’s worse than that, with people sending you rape or death threats; publishing your private information and encouraging others to harass you; harassing your family and friends; or reaching out to your employer to try to get you fired.

If you want to go public, but reduce the chances you’ll be harassed for doing it, here are some things you could consider:

You could publish your story anonymously, instead of using your real name.
You could try to keep the name of your current employer secret.
You could tighten up your digital security before you publish. (Like, remove your private information from the internet, and restrict who can see what you publish on social media.) There are some good resources for that here, here, and here.
You could tell your friends before you publish, and ask them to be ready to help you if you end up facing harassment or abuse.

If you go public, you might lose your job or have a hard time getting a new one

This is a real risk. Lots of people have described how their careers tanked after they went public. Companies don’t want to hire people who’ve complained publicly about sexual harassment, because they’re worried they’ll do it again. And, in general, it’s pretty common for people to harshly judge people who complain about harassment.

If you’re concerned about your work reputation, that concern is probably valid. If you want to go public anyway, here are some things you can do to try to protect yourself:

Don’t name your employer.
Don’t attach your real name to your story.
When you tell your story, try to keep it factual and understated.
Make it clear that, apart from the harassment, you like your employer and enjoy your work.
Make it clear that you regret having to go public, and wish you didn’t have to do it.
Make it clear that you are trying to help your company do a better job of handling harassment, rather than being motivated by anger or a desire for revenge.

If you go public, you might mess up any legal case you’re pursuing or settlement you’ve received

If you’re involved with any kind of formal complaint process or legal action, going public could mess it up. Here are some ways that might happen:

It could give the harasser or your employer a heads-up on what’s coming, giving them time to change their story or destroy evidence.
What you say could be used against you in court, with the other side claiming you’ve lied, or tried to influence other witnesses, or using what you say to attack your character or motivation.
If people attack you online, then people who might have been willing to support you (for example by being a witness) may change their minds.
If you’ve signed a non-disclosure agreement, going public could break it. You might be required to pay back any settlement money you got, and your employer might decide to sue you for breach of contract.

If you’re involved in a formal legal process, it’s a good idea to get advice from your lawyer before going public.

By now, you probably have a pretty good idea about whether going public is right for you.

If you choose to do it, your first big question is whether to try to get a journalist to tell your story or whether to do it yourself.

The main reason to talk with a journalist is that it makes your story more credible, because most people will assume that what a journalist writes is pretty likely to be true.

But there are downsides to doing this. You lose control of what exactly gets said, and where, and when. A journalist may push you to give them embarrassing details that you don’t want to share publicly. It’s possible a journalist may make a deal with you (like, to keep your name confidential, or to not tell some parts of your story) and then end up breaking that deal. If you don’t want to be quoted when you’re being interviewed, you have to say that what you’re telling them is confidential before you start to talk, not afterward.

But for most people, a journalist isn’t an option anyway. A journalist might be interested in your story if what happened to you was especially scandalous, or if you or the harasser (or your employer) are famous. But otherwise it’s usually pretty hard to get a journalist interested, because sexual harassment happens every day, and so it’s not really “news.”

That means that if you go public, you’ll probably end up doing it alone, on social media.

We’ll leave you now with some last things to consider.

A checklist of things to think about before you go public

Are there important people in your life who you want to tell ahead of time?
Are there people in your life who you don’t want to know about what happened to you, who may learn about it once you go public?
Are you comfortable with your story possibly being public forever?
If you have a lawyer, have you talked with them about your plan?
Have you done what you can to make it less likely you’ll be sued for defamation?
If you do get sued, are you confident you can defend yourself?
Are you involved with any current complaints or legal process that might get messed up when you go public?
Have you signed any legal agreements that might limit what you can say publicly? See How to decide whether to take legal action (and what to expect if you do).
Have you done what you can to tighten up your digital privacy and security?
Have you lined up supports to help protect your well-being and safety after you go public? See Build a support network.

You’ve decided you need legal advice. But you may not be sure how to get it. We’re here to help.

The first thing you have to do is find a lawyer

All lawyers specialize in a particular area of the law, and the first thing you need to figure out is what area of specialization you need.

In the case of workplace sexual harassment, you are probably looking for an employment or labour lawyer, and ideally one with experience in harassment or discrimination. If you’re planning to file a claim with a human rights commission, you may want to seek a lawyer who specializes in human rights. But there aren’t a lot of lawyers who specialize in human rights law, and if you can’t find one, an employment or labour lawyer is probably your best bet.

Important

You may think you can get a lawyer for free through legal aid, but you probably can’t. All provinces and territories in Canada do offer legal aid services, but many don’t help with employment or human rights issues. Also, legal aid is only normally available for people who make about $25,000 a year or less.

Here are the best ways to find a lawyer:

Word of mouth: Does someone in your network have a recommendation? Many people find their lawyer through recommendations from friends and acquaintances. If you are lucky enough to know somebody who had an issue similar to yours and was happy with the lawyer they used, that is great and you should consider that lawyer. If someone you know is close to a lawyer who doesn’t specialize in the area of law you need, you could call that lawyer and ask for a referral. It’s normal for lawyers to make referrals, and they will probably be happy to do it.
All provinces and territories except Saskatchewan and New Brunswick operate lawyer referral services that connect people with participating lawyers. Usually, those lawyers offer a 30-minute meeting for free or a small fee. After that, you can choose to hire the lawyer—or not. If you don’t think the lawyer you’ve been referred to is a good fit, you can ask for another referral.
The Canadian Bar Association offers a Find-A-Lawyer search tool where you can look up lawyers near you who specialize in the type of law you need. Usually, the lawyer will agree to give you a 30-minute meeting for free.
Google is your friend! A lot of people find lawyers just by searching online. Some lawyers blog or write columns or appear in the media, and that can give you a great sense of who they are and what they’re like. Searching online can also help you find a lawyer or firm that specializes in supporting people like you. For example, if you are Indigenous, 2SLGBTQIA+, or an immigrant to Canada, you may be able to find a firm with special expertise that’s relevant to you and your case.
If your income is too high to qualify for legal aid but too low to afford regular legal fees, you might qualify for JusticeNet. It’s a national not-for-profit directory of lawyers and paralegals who offer services at a reduced fee for people who are experiencing financial difficulties and who have a net family income under $90,000.

Tip

If you know you can’t afford a lawyer and you live in Ontario, you might be able to seek help from a paralegal instead. Paralegals can’t do everything a lawyer can do (for example, they can’t represent you in civil court) and they don’t have as much legal education. But there are lots of things they can do, and they charge about half of what a lawyer does.

How to decide who to hire

Obviously cost is a factor, and we’ll talk about that in a moment. But it’s also important to choose someone you feel you’ll be comfortable with. Do you like this person? Do you find them easy to understand? Do you feel safe talking with them?

Tip

Some lawyers offer trauma-informed services. This is a commitment to engage with clients who have experienced trauma in ways that are safe, empowering, and collaborative.

Tip

If you’re considering hiring a particular lawyer, it’s worth looking them up on Google Maps or Yelp to see if anybody has reviewed them there. You can also check the Better Business Bureau for reviews and complaints. You can also see what cases they’ve handled by checking CanLII, a free database for legal decisions in Canada.

When you and the lawyer first meet, here are some questions you might want to ask:

How many cases like mine have you handled?
Do you have any reported cases?
How did they turn out?
How long do you expect my case to take?
What are the legal options available to me?
How does the law apply to my case?
What will be the next steps?
What should I do or not do as my case goes forward?
What expectations can I have about the outcome?

How much it’s going to cost

Lawyers structure their fees in different ways.

Some operate on a contingency basis, which means they don’t charge you at the beginning but will keep a percentage of any money they win for you, like maybe 30% or more of the total award. The Law Society of Ontario offers good information and advice about contingency fees here.

But most lawyers charge by the hour.

A lawyer’s hourly rate depends on a number of things:

how experienced they are
what size firm they work for—smaller firms are often cheaper
where in the country you are—rates in smaller places can be cheaper than in big towns

Most lawyers’ hourly rates start around $400. Sometimes your lawyer will also work with a less-experienced lawyer or a paralegal, who they supervise and whose hourly rate is lower. Your lawyer will also charge you for expenses (officially called disbursements), which are things like photocopying fees and court filing fees. But the majority of the cost of a lawyer is usually their hourly rate.

The most effective way to keep your costs low is to limit what you’re asking them to do. If you want to start a complicated legal action that might end up in court, with lots of phone calls and preparation, that will be expensive. If you just want the lawyer to write a letter or file a document, that will be much cheaper.

Tip

When you meet with a lawyer and describe what you want them to do, unless it’s very simple, they won’t be able to tell you exactly what it will cost. That’s normal and it doesn’t mean they’re untrustworthy. They just don’t know how complex the work will turn out to be, so they don’t know how much time it will take.

If you hire a lawyer who charges by the hour, you may be asked for a retainer, which is an amount of money up front—say, $2,000—before they start work on your case. When that’s used up, they will ask you for more.

Some lawyers charge a block rate. This means you pay one fee for the whole job. A block rate is a good way to cap your costs, because whatever you’re quoted at the beginning will be the maximum you will pay for the job, unless the case unexpectedly becomes way more complicated. This allows people to avoid a situation where they get halfway through a legal case and then run out of money.

Normally your lawyer will make a contract for your work together (sometimes called an engagement letter) that includes a fee agreement outlining how you will be billed. They should regularly send you statements showing you how much they have charged you, and for what.

Tip

It’s totally okay to ask questions about fees, and how you can keep them low! Lawyers know they are expensive, and they know it’s not an expense that people have budgeted for. They are usually very comfortable talking about how to minimize your costs.

Working with your lawyer

You are the boss. Your lawyer won’t do anything you don’t ask them to do and won’t do anything without your approval. They will present you with your options, and you will decide what to do. That doesn’t mean they won’t advise you; they will. But you will get to make the final decision.

Review with them what they can and cannot do for you, and what your role will be when you are working together. Having a clear idea about what you can expect can help avoid misunderstandings.

Your lawyer will need information from you. This is where your documentation comes in. See Document Everything. You can keep your legal costs low by providing documentation that’s clear and well organized, and by being focused and brief when you talk with your lawyer. You will normally be paying for every minute that they spend with you, even for short phone calls and email exchanges.

What a lawyer can’t do for you

Important

It’s very common for people to go to a lawyer because they want the legal system to validate them and give them justice. But it’s your lawyer’s job to tell you what’s realistically possible, and the truth can be very disappointing. It’s worth trying to be realistic about what the legal system can and cannot give you, so you don’t end up feeling let down.

If you are lucky, your lawyer will be empathetic and kind.

But your lawyer is not a therapist, and they can’t be your source for mental health support. They aren’t trained to do it, and they are too expensive. It’s a good idea to get support to help you process the trauma you’ve experienced, and you should seek it from someone who is not your lawyer.

Your lawyer is also not your friend. They need to have a professional relationship with you, so they can be objective about your situation and give you realistic advice. It’s a good idea to surround yourself with warmth and emotional support, but you shouldn’t be seeking it from your lawyer.

Your lawyer is also not your career coach. They can’t necessarily advise you about how a particular decision might affect your career, and you shouldn’t expect them to. You should seek that kind of advice from people in your industry who you trust.

Confidentiality, privilege, and honesty

Anything you say to your lawyer and anything they learn about you from working on your case, no matter where it comes from, is confidential. Your lawyer cannot repeat what they know about you to anyone outside of their firm without your permission. This means that, if you end up in court, for example, what you’ve said to them will be private. Lawyers are normally very good at maintaining confidentiality and you shouldn’t need to worry that they won’t.

Any communication between you and your lawyer about the legal advice they are giving you is privileged, including emails, texts, and letters. These are private and cannot be shared with anyone outside of their firm unless you agree. Lawyers are good at this, too.

It’s common for people to not tell their lawyer things that make them look bad, because they’re embarrassed, or because they think their lawyer will work harder if they like and respect them. But you should always be honest with your lawyer. It’s unlikely you will shock them, and they need to know the truth, so they can construct a case that helps you.

If things go badly

Important

Lawyers do not control the outcome of your case, and they cannot guarantee that you’ll get what you want. If a lawyer guarantees you success, they might not be a very good lawyer.

Here are some signs suggesting you might have a bad lawyer:

They promise they can get you the exact outcome you want.
Their fee structure isn’t clear, or they didn’t give it to you in writing.
When they explain things to you, you don’t understand what they’re saying.
They often seem distracted, stressed, or overwhelmed.
They don’t remember who you are, or forget details of your case.
They are cold or rude.
They don’t return your calls or emails.
They are regularly late.
They make important decisions about your case without discussing them with you first.
They make mistakes, like missing deadlines or filing paperwork incorrectly.
Other legal professionals (like court clerks, judges, and opposing counsel) don’t seem to respect them.

Tip

One of the most common complaints about lawyers is a lack of communication. Sometimes, lawyers who are great at their jobs have a difficult time dealing with clients and communicating effectively. You may find a lawyer who is very good at what they do, but you will still have a poor relationship because of their bad communication skills.

If you have a complaint

If you believe your lawyer is doing a bad job, you can complain to the management of their firm, who may be able to fix the problem. If that doesn’t work, then the place to take your complaint is the provincial law society. Some law societies will take complaints about lawyers’ fees, and all law societies are responsible for disciplining members who have violated standards of conduct.

Important

This is just general information, not legal advice. If you need legal advice about your specific situation, we urge you to find a lawyer who can help you.

We’re going to tell you an important secret. Something that CEOs, HR people, and lawyers already know, but you probably don’t.

If you’ve been badly treated at your workplace to the point where you feel you need to quit your job, you may be able to get your employer to give you money by sending them what’s called a demand letter.

A demand letter is not guaranteed to get you money. Some employers will ignore it, or just tell you no. But it works often enough to make it worth trying.

How demand letters work

A demand letter is just an ordinary letter or email that you or your lawyer sends to your employer. It describes the bad treatment you experienced at work, and asks your employer to give you money in exchange for you agreeing to not sue them.

The premise of a demand letter is that you have been harassed to the point where it’s impossible for you to do your job, which means you need to quit, and the whole thing is your employer’s fault for not stopping the harassment.

You send a demand letter when you’re planning to quit—or, in some cases, after you’ve been fired. If you’re staying at work, you might send a demand letter if, for example, a co-worker has harassed you, causing a psychological injury. You could send a demand letter asking your employer to reimburse you for the money you’ve spent on counselling.

Here’s what usually happens:

You’re badly treated at work, and your employer doesn’t fix the problem. Maybe you complain, and they punish you.
You decide you need to quit. Or, you get fired.
You send a demand letter to your employer.
Your employer might ignore the letter, but usually they’ll reply. They may agree to give you everything you asked for, or some of it, or they reject your entire request.
You accept what they’ve offered, or push for more. You might go back and forth for a while, negotiating.
Eventually one of two things happens. Either you accept an offer, in which case you then sign a release letter, agreeing you will not take them to court. This is called a settlement. Or, you reject their offer (or there is no offer), in which case you need to decide whether to proceed with a lawsuit.

Why demand letters are great

Going to court is slow and expensive. Lots of people never even talk with a lawyer, because they know they can’t afford to pay for a legal dispute that might last years.

That’s where the demand letter comes in. A demand letter is essentially a threat. You are saying (or implying) that, if your demands aren’t met, you’ll take your employer to court.

But the important part is you don’t have to actually go to court. If you send a demand letter that gets ignored or rejected, you can stop right there and that’s the end of it.

This means that a demand letter is a pretty cheap, pretty easy way to see if you can get your employer to give you some money. If you can, that’s great. If you can’t, there’s no real harm done.

The one major cost of a demand letter is the lawyer who writes it for you. You can write a demand letter yourself, but if you can afford it, it’s better to have a lawyer do it. Lawyers know how to phrase things in a way that will make it as likely as possible that your employer will pay up.

Usually a lawyer will charge a flat fee to write the letter. Between $200 and $500 is common, but a lawyer might charge more if your matter is complicated.

We couldn’t find any Canadian statistics on how well demand letters work. But one U.S. survey found that almost 60% of people who sent a demand letter received a settlement, compared with only 36% of people who didn’t.

Why your employer might agree to give you money

In theory, your employer would only give you money if they thought you had a strong legal case. But in practice, there are lots of other reasons employers might do it:

They want to avoid a long and expensive court fight.
They would rather pay a smaller amount of money now, instead of what might be a bigger amount later (if you win a lawsuit).
They don’t want to be embarrassed in public by whatever gets said in a court case.
They don’t want their other employees to be mad at them for how they treated you.
They don’t want potential new employees to hear they’re a bad employer.
They don’t want you to be mad at them.
They feel bad about what happened to you, and want to make it right.

Here are some things that might mean you’re more likely to win a settlement:

Your employer thinks you’re good at your job.
You’ve worked there longer than two years.
Other employees, or customers/clients, like and respect you.
There’s someone in management who knows you personally and likes you.
You think your employer feels bad about how you’ve been treated.
If what happened to you became public, people might be angry with your employer.
You’re female, racialized, 2SLGBTQIA+, or disabled.

What a demand letter usually looks like

Here’s what a demand letter typically looks like. They are usually a maximum of four pages.

Salutation

It’s important to direct the letter to the right person. Usually the more senior they are, the better—like the head of HR, the CEO, or maybe the general counsel.

Statement that you are leaving, why, and when

Explain a little about yourself, like what your job is at the company, when you started work, and how long you have worked there. If you have gotten good feedback on your work, you’ll want to say that too.

It’s important to be very clear that you are leaving your job. You should say when your last day of work will be. Usually that’s right away (“my resignation is effective immediately”), though sometimes it’s one or two weeks in the future.

Your lawyer can help you explain exactly why you’re leaving. Normally it’s because your employer has not resolved the harassment problem and so your workplace is unsafe. Sometimes it’s also because your employer has retaliated against you for complaining about being harassed. See Getting punished for complaining and how to protect yourself.

Factual statement of what happened and how it hurt you

Here the letter will describe the harassment you’ve experienced and your efforts to report it to your employer. Sometimes this part will be just a few sentences, and sometimes it’ll be several pages.

You’ll also describe how the harassment has hurt you: cost you money and/or caused you pain and suffering. You should write about any physical or mental health symptoms you’ve experienced, any medical diagnoses you’ve received (for example, anxiety or depression), any medications you’ve been prescribed, and any other harms you’ve suffered. If you feel you have been punished for complaining, you should describe that too.

Description of what you want

In this part of the letter, you’ll describe exactly what you want. This almost always includes money. Generally, you should ask for more money than you really expect to get. Some people say you should figure out the minimum amount you want, and ask for double.

You can also ask for things other than money, like a positive reference letter. Sometimes people ask to be allowed to describe their departure as a resignation rather than a dismissal. Sometimes they want to write the announcement that will go out saying they are leaving. You might ask to keep company property, like a laptop or cellphone. Usually it’s pretty easy to get your employer to agree to your non-money asks.

Any practical information about company property

Because you’re resigning, you need to tell your employer what company property you have, and how and when you plan to return it. It’s normal for your employer to expect you to return any company property, usually within a week or so of your last working day. Some employers will insist that you return their property, and in that case you definitely need to do it.

Date by which you would like a reply

It’s important to include a reply-by date, so that, if your employer plans to ignore your letter, you will know. Usually the date is about a week in the future, but sometimes it’s as short as a few days, or as long as two to three weeks.

More about demand letters

What is the right tone?

The letter should be factual and polite. It shouldn’t sound angry. It should be written in a more formal way if it’s signed by your lawyer, and it can be less formal if it’s signed by you. If your relationship with your employer is hostile, the letter should still be courteous. If your relationship has been mostly positive, the letter can be friendly.

Remember that sending a demand letter is not actually a hostile act. What you’re saying in the letter is that, even though you have a legal claim, you are willing to resolve it in a friendly fashion, rather than by going to court.

Usually it’s better to keep your options open rather than committing to a specific course of action. But sometimes (especially if your employer is hostile) it might save time to say exactly what you will do if your demands aren’t met. Your lawyer can help you figure this out.

What should my letter ask for?

Usually the letter should give a specific amount. This saves time, because your employer doesn’t have to guess what you want.

It’s also normal to ask for things like a positive reference letter. It’s normal to ask to keep company property. (Although employers sometimes say no.) You could also ask for an apology from your employer or from the harasser. You could ask that the harasser be required to attend sexual harassment training.

If I send a demand letter and I don’t get any money, does that mean I need to go to court?

No. Nothing about sending a demand letter commits you to actually going ahead with a lawsuit. But your letter is more likely to be successful if your employer believes you might go to court.

How should I deliver a demand letter?

You can send it by registered mail if you want to be able to prove it was received, but it’s not necessary. You could also hand deliver a copy.

It’s increasingly common to send a demand letter by email. If you do this, you should send it from your personal account, not your work account, and ask your employer to confirm they have received it. If they don’t confirm it, you will want to then deliver the letter in some other way.

If I send a demand letter and it’s ignored or rejected, what should I do?

You might decide to write a follow-up letter that restates what you want, and what you’ll do if you don’t get it. You might decide to start a legal case. Or you could decide to do nothing. It’s entirely up to you.

If I send a demand letter, what’s the worst thing that could happen?

Your employer might talk negatively about you to other people. They might refuse to give you a good reference. The worst-case outcome is probably that they are permanently angry with you, and you have burned a bridge and will never have a good relationship with them again.

Here are some examples of demand letters.

Important

Launching and participating in a civil lawsuit is expensive and time consuming, and some people find it traumatizing. If you’re thinking of doing it, we urge you to consult a lawyer first.

First, let’s define what we mean by taking legal action.

For the purposes of this article, we’re not talking about filing a human rights complaint, filing a grievance through your union, or making a formal report to your employer.

What we’re talking about here is filing—or threatening to file—a civil lawsuit.

What’s a civil lawsuit?

In civil court, cases are also called claims, lawsuits, or simply “litigation” (which means taking legal action). These are private disputes between people or companies. That means there is no police investigation, no Crown attorney, and no involvement of a tribunal or agency.

Unlike at a tribunal or in a criminal court, no one investigates the case—you and your lawyer have to collect and present all of your evidence yourself. And the other side gets to present their evidence as well.

You have to prove each of the facts on a balance of probabilities. This standard of proof is lower than in a criminal case. A balance of probabilities means that you have to prove that it is more likely than not that the harassment occurred, and that the harassment meets the legal tests for your type of case. In sexual harassment cases, it often comes down to your word against the defendants, and the judge will decide who to believe.

Important

Most civil claims have a two-year limitation period. But for crimes considered serious criminal matters there is no limitation. Sexual assault is in this category.

Why would someone file a civil lawsuit?

The main reason is money.

Nobody can go back in time and change what happened to you. But if somebody caused you harm, the premise of the legal system is that, in some circumstances, they can be forced to give you money to make up for it.

There are other reasons to take legal action. You might want the harasser to be ordered to stop harassing you. You might want there to be a permanent public record of what happened. It might feel important to you to have a judge rule in your favour. You might want keep the same thing from happening to someone else.

But the main reason people take legal action, and the main benefit of legal action, is money. It’s that simple.

Why don’t people file a civil lawsuit?

Most people who are harassed don’t take legal action.

There’s no way to know for sure how many do. But the research says that most people who’ve been harassed don’t take any formal action at all. Fewer than half even report to their employer what happened. Our guess is that fewer than 1% file a lawsuit.

Why don’t people take legal action? There are probably three main reasons:

They’re not sure if they have solid legal grounds for a claim, so they don’t know how likely it is that their case would be successful.
They think pursuing a legal claim would take too long, be too expensive, and be too risky.
They think it would be unpleasant, and they would rather just put the whole thing behind them and move on.

Those are good reasons.

Researchers say that a civil court case can be really bad for the mental health of the person who starts it. The case can take years, and during that time, the person who initiates it has to tell their story over and over, including to lawyers on the other side, who will try to make them look bad. Researchers say this can keep people stuck in the past and prevent them from being able to heal and move forward.

It’s also true that pursuing a legal case can be very expensive. Some people end up spending tens of thousands of dollars, or even hundreds of thousands. If you don’t have that kind of money, it can be hard to even imagine launching a civil court case. However, if a lawyer thinks you have a good case, they make take it on contingency. That means they would only get paid if you win.

But here’s something you need to know.

Just because you start legal action doesn’t mean you’re committing yourself to a long, expensive process.

Hardly any cases go all the way to a trial, and there are lots of opportunities for you to settle or withdraw along the way.

If you threaten legal action by sending your employer what’s called a demand letter, it’s possible they will settle with you immediately. In that case, your only expense is the cost of the letter itself, plus any negotiations that might follow it.
If you file a civil case against the harasser or your employer, it’s possible it will get settled before you get to the trial stage. In Canada, 98% of civil court cases are settled or abandoned before they ever get to trial. Abandonment is a bad outcome for you (it means you gave up), but a settlement can be great.
You could choose to pursue a claim through small claims court rather than ordinary civil court. The downside of small claims court is that the awards are smaller. But the upside is that the process is shorter and simpler, and you might be able to do it by yourself, without even needing a lawyer.

If you think you might have a legal case, even if you’re pretty sure you don’t want to go all the way to trial, you should seriously consider talking with a lawyer.

You can usually get a short consultation for free. A lawyer can help you figure out how strong your case is, and what course of action might make sense for you.

If I take legal action, what could I get?

You can settle your case for any amount of money that your adversary is willing to offer and you are willing to accept. Or, if you go to trial and win, the judge will decide how much money you get.

Typically, amounts are calculated on the basis of lost wages or expenses, costs of medical treatment, as well as harm to your well-being, which are called general damages. Occasionally, amounts also include punitive damages, intended to punish the other party.

You’ve probably seen headlines about people in the United States being awarded millions of dollars. It’s not like that in Canada. Here, an award of $200,000 is considered really large, and it’s very unlikely you’d get that much.

What does it cost to take legal action?

You will need to pay for your own lawyer, and also for any support they have, like if they use a paralegal to help them. Lawyers usually charge by the hour, and they will charge you for everything they do: for all the time they spend preparing for your case—talking to you, reading documents, writing letters, contacting the other side’s lawyers, and interviewing witnesses.

You will also need to pay any costs your lawyer incurs on your behalf, like the costs of filing documents, experts’ fees, or getting transcripts or photocopies made.

If your lawyer ends up just drafting a single letter for you, that could cost as little as a few hundred dollars.
If your case goes all the way to trial, it will probably cost many thousands of dollars, and if you end up needing to appeal, it could be much more.

If you go all the way to trial and win, the judge will make the other party pay some of your legal fees. But if you lose, the judge will make you pay some of the legal costs of the other party.

Why might I sue or threaten to sue?

You can’t sue on the basis that you were sexually harassed. That’s not a claim that civil court will accept. Instead, you have two main ways to make a claim.

Your employer responded to the harassment in a way that broke your employment agreement.

This is called wrongful dismissal or constructive dismissal.

Wrongful dismissal means you were fired without cause—without a valid reason, or without being given reasonable notice or pay instead of notice. If you got fired because your employer wanted to get rid of you rather than stop the harassment, you might be able to sue your employer for wrongful dismissal.

Constructive dismissal means that although your employer didn’t literally fire you, they effectively fired you, by making such big changes to your work that you might as well have been fired. The kinds of changes that count as constructive dismissal include things like a reduction in your work hours, a change in your work assignment, a pay cut, a demotion, or a suspension. If your employer made a change like that rather than dealing with the sexual harassment, you might be able to sue them for constructive dismissal.

Constructive dismissal can also include things your employer didn’t do. Your employer has an obligation to provide you with a workplace that’s free of harassment and discrimination. If you reported harassment and your employer didn’t handle it, you might have a case for constructive dismissal on that basis.

The harassment caused you loss or harm.

This is called a tort, which means it’s a claim that’s accepted in civil court. Torts that apply to sexual harassment include battery, intentional infliction of mental suffering, and negligence.

If you want to sue for the harm you suffered because of the harassment, that would be a tort. Here are the torts that most commonly apply to sexual harassment:

Battery is any direct, intentional, and physical interference with your body that is harmful or offensive. This tort protects your personal, physical autonomy. If you sue on this basis, you could be suing the harasser or your employer if the harasser is a senior officer of the company.
Intentional infliction of mental suffering recognizes that the harm might not be physical, but that, nonetheless, the harasser deliberately hurt you. For this kind of lawsuit, you have to prove that the harasser wanted to cause harm and prove the illness or symptoms that resulted. If you sue on this basis, you’d be suing the harasser or your employer if the harasser is a senior officer of the company.
Negligence means your employer failed to meet the standard of care that a reasonable person would have shown in the situation. In a harassment case, this could be a claim that they had a duty of care to protect you from the harm caused by the harasser, and that they didn’t live up to that duty. It could also be that your employer knew of a harasser’s conduct but ignored it. In these types of cases, you’d be suing your employer, not the harasser.

Tip

Lawyers who specialize in sexual harassment cases often find new ways to ask the court to hear cases of sexual harassment. A lawyer will help you figure out which kind of civil lawsuit makes sense in your situation.

What are the risks of taking legal action?

Lawsuits are adversarial, and if you sue the harasser or your employer, they may decide you’re their enemy and try to hurt you or damage your career.

The harasser might trash-talk you to other people, or try to hurt you physically, or be hostile in some other way.

If you are still working for your employer, they might try to punish you or fire you. That’s called a reprisal and it’s illegal. Your employer might also talk negatively about you to other people, or refuse to give you a good reference, or make your life unpleasant in other ways.

Lawsuits are public, which means people will know your private business.

Courts are open to the public, which means anyone can access the documents in the case and can sit in the courtroom and watch the trial. Once a decision has been made, it will be listed on public, searchable websites.

This means that private information about you—which might include, for example, information about your salary, medications you take, medical diagnoses you’ve received, and things you’ve said and done—will be available to anyone. If you want to see the kind of information that ends up getting published, you can read some court decisions:

You might be able to use a pseudonym if you can show that there’s a good reason to do this: that your mental health could suffer or you might not sue if you had to go public.

Lawsuits are expensive, and the harasser or your employer might deliberately behave in ways that increase your costs.

Many defendants use tactics to delay or prolong a case, such as filing motions, requesting lots of extra documents from you, refusing to hand over their documents, and changing lawyers. These can be strategic moves to drive up your legal costs so you either settle or drop your case altogether. This is called litigation bullying—it is very difficult to manage and adds extra stress and cost.

The harasser or your employer might sue you for defamation, which can also drive up your legal costs.

If you sue your employer or the harasser, they might start their own lawsuit against you for defamation, saying that your claims are untrue and are hurting their reputation, or causing loss of business or other financial damage. Defending against a defamation lawsuit is a whole other process and will increase your legal costs and stress, even if what you are being sued for isn’t true.

You might get nothing in the end.

It’s entirely possible you could go all the way through a long and expensive legal process, and in the end…lose. You could end up spending an enormous amount of time and money on the process, and needing to pay the legal costs of the other side. Even if you win, a harasser might not have any money to pay you. You could end up traumatized by the whole experience, and getting nothing out of it.

What to expect if you start a civil court action

Important

If you’re hoping to reach a settlement, it’s very likely the other party will insist you agree to sign a non-disclosure agreement, or NDA, that will prohibit you from talking about what happened. If you think you might not be willing to sign an NDA, it’s important to tell your lawyer early, because it may change your legal strategy.

The first step is that you get a lawyer, and the two of you figure out who you are targeting with your legal action, and on what basis.

Once you have that figured out, your lawyer might advise you to start with a demand letter, in hopes you can reach a settlement without ever needing to take formal legal action.

If the demand letter doesn’t work, you’ll need to decide whether to proceed with legal action. If you do, here’s how it works.

Your lawyer will write a statement of claim in which they describe what happened and say how it meets the elements of the legal test. Your lawyer will file this statement to the court, and send copies to everyone you are suing. Those people are called defendants because they are required to file a defence to your claim.

The defendants will then file a statement of defence describing the facts that they think matter to the case and will answer your claim. They will deliver it to you, also called serving it on you, or service.

These two documents are called the pleadings. Once these have been filed, the parties start a process called examination for discovery.

Discovery is like a pre-trial, though it doesn’t happen in a courtroom. It is an oral examination recorded by a court reporter in which you and the defendant reveal any evidence related to the case, even if it hurts your argument. The lawyer for the defendant will interview you, asking questions relevant to the case; your lawyer will interview the defendant. The lawyers will have already exchanged the documents that they are using to support their arguments and they may ask questions based on those documents. The information recorded in the discovery transcript may be used in the trail. The discovery process can take months or even years, depending how much evidence there is to go through.

At this point, your lawyer will be able to give you advice about how strong your case is. It’s also common at this stage for the parties to decide to try to reach a settlement through mediation, rather than going all the way to court.

During the mediation process you and the other party may be required to sign a confidentiality agreement. This agreement only applies to the discussions during the mediation. Any admissions or offers made then can’t be repeated in a hearing later, or talked about publicly. This isn’t a long-term ban as part of a settlement; it is a tool to create a period of open discussion during mediation.

Here, you might reach a settlement. Your lawyer will help you decide whether to accept it. They can’t tell you what to do, but they can help you understand your options.

If you don’t reach a settlement, the case goes on to trial.

During a trial, a judge will oversee the courtroom. They may decide the case, or either you or the defendant can request a jury trial. You will have to prove each aspect of your claim. You can bring evidence—witnesses or documents—to prove each fact. The harasser or employer will also get to bring their own evidence supporting their version of events. Each side gets to cross-examine the witnesses that the other side calls. The judge or jury hears all the evidence, and the legal arguments made by the lawyers, before making a decision.

Often the judge will first hear evidence about the facts and make a decision on whether the harassment happened and, if they decide it did, how much money you will receive. (This is called an award of damages.) This may take weeks or even months, depending how complicated the case is. If the trial is heard by a jury, they will decide immediately.

There are things the judge or jury can’t do. They can’t order your employer to fire the harasser, to give you your job back, to make the harasser apologize, or make your employer implement specific policies. If you want those kinds of remedies, a human rights body is a better bet.

How is small claims court different from civil court?

Small claims court is a slightly simpler and faster way of legally settling smaller lawsuits. The exact dollar amount you could be awarded in small claims court varies from jurisdiction to jurisdiction; the maximum ranges from $15,000 to $50,000. If you want to ask for damages that fall below this limit, you can start a small claims case. The process is a little less complicated and you can either represent yourself or, if you live in Ontario, hire a paralegal.

Because there are limits on costs awards at small claims, this means that you do not risk as big an award against you, if you lose your case. Small claims courts don’t make costs awards for the time you spend representing yourself—just for the amount you pay to a lawyer, and sometimes also your filing fees.

You might also use small claims court if you get an award from a human rights body or labour board, but the harasser hasn’t paid up. If the total amount is under the small claims ceiling in your province or territory, you can start a case to force them to pay. Before you do this, even in small claims, try sending a demand letter first. You can pay a lawyer to write this for you—an hour or two of legal help to send a demand letter could be a good investment.

What to expect at the end

Collecting the money

If you agree to a settlement or win at trial, it will be up to you to collect the money.

If you reach a settlement, this is usually easy. In this case, the other party has agreed to pay you a certain amount, and usually they will do it fairly quickly.

If you win at trial, though, collecting the money may be harder. You can start by sending a demand letter reminding the party of the judgment. If they don’t pay up, you can go back to the court and ask the court to force them to pay. This is another legal process and will take more time and cost you more money.

Confidentiality versus publicity

If you reach a settlement, the other party will almost always insist that you sign an NDA. (Unless you live in P.E.I. In 2022, P.E.I. became the first jurisdiction in Canada to ban NDAs in cases of sexual misconduct, harassment, and discrimination unless the affected person chooses to sign one.)

An NDA may seem like an unimportant detail, but it’s not. An NDA is a binding legal agreement, and if you sign it, you’ll be obligated to live up to what it says. If you don’t, you might end up having to pay back the money you got in the settlement, or you could be sued and forced to pay even more money.

Some people are happy to sign an NDA because they don’t plan on telling anyone about what happened to them anyway. Others would rather go to trial than agree to a settlement that requires an NDA.

It’s not uncommon for a person to sign an NDA and then come to regret it, years or even decades later.

Sometimes people realize later that they need to speak publicly about their experience in order to process it and heal from it.

Or they learn that the circumstances in which they signed the agreement weren’t exactly what they’d thought at the time. For example, lots of people sign an NDA assuming their harassment was an isolated incident, but some find out later that the harasser was actually harassing a lot of people. They may then want to speak up in support of other people who got harassed, and regret signing an agreement that says they can’t.

You can read stories of people who signed NDAs on this website that’s advocating for them to be banned in Canada.

If you’re willing to sign an NDA, it’s a good idea to think about whether there are people you might want to talk about your case with—like your partner or another family member or friend, a therapist, a health care professional, the police, or any other authority. If so, you should make sure your lawyer knows that, so they can ensure the NDA allows it. You should also make sure you understand whether those people are allowed to tell other people.

If you’re considering signing an NDA, definitely discuss it thoroughly with your lawyer first. They can help you understand the terms and decide whether you’re willing to agree to them, and also can negotiate changes.

If your case goes to trial, it’s simpler. Once a decision has been made, it will be listed on public, searchable websites. The judge can anonymize the decision by using only your initials instead of your full name. You may be able to do this if you can show that you would suffer emotional injury if you are publicly identified.

So, should I do it?

There’s no single right answer.

It depends on the facts of your case. It depends on who the harasser is and who your employer is. It depends on how much effort and money you’re willing to spend. It depends on whether you can afford to make an enemy of the harasser and your employer. It depends on how stressful you’re likely to find the experience, and whether the stress is worth the potential benefit to you.

That’s why we urge you to consult with a lawyer. They will listen to your story and help you understand what, in your specific circumstances, is realistically possible.

Important

This is just general information, not legal advice. If you need legal advice, we urge you to find a lawyer who can help you.

If you feel you’re being sexually harassed, you’re probably right. It is very rare for people to mistakenly feel like they’re being sexually harassed. You know your situation best, and if what’s happening feels to you like sexual harassment, it almost certainly is.

You might wonder if it’s workplace sexual harassment if it happens to everyone and is happening all the time

There are lots of workplaces where sexual harassment is extremely common. Like in bars and restaurants, or very male environments like construction work, policing, or the military. There, the people getting harassed often see it as “just part of the job,” and sometimes they decide that must mean it’s not real sexual harassment.

But it is. There may not be much you can do about it. It may be completely “normal.” It may seem like nobody cares. But it’s still workplace sexual harassment. It shouldn’t be happening, and it’s prohibited under Canadian law.

You might wonder if it’s sexual harassment if it’s not your boss harassing you but somebody else

It is. In fact, most workplace sexual harassers aren’t the boss. Most are clients and customers, or co-workers.

That is workplace sexual harassment, and it’s prohibited under Canadian law.

You might wonder if it’s workplace sexual harassment if it’s not happening at work

If somebody related to your work is harassing you, it’s workplace sexual harassment, even if it happens:

when you’re at home
on the street, on a bus, in a parking garage, or some other public place
at a work party, training, conference, or other work-related event
while you’re travelling (in a car, on a bus or plane, at a hotel) with co-workers to or from a workplace or work-related event

Workplace sexual harassment doesn’t only happen at work. If someone from your work is sexually harassing you, it can still be considered harassment even if it happens somewhere other than at your workplace, and it’s prohibited under Canadian law.

You might wonder if you’re being harassed for sex- or gender-based reasons, versus whether it’s because of your race, religion, or some other reason

It’s very common for people to be unsure of exactly why they’re being harassed, or to suspect that there’s a mix of reasons. A Muslim woman may not know whether she’s being harassed because she’s Muslim or because she’s female. A gay Anishinaabe man may not know whether he’s being harassed because of his sexual orientation or because he’s Indigenous.

The reality is, it shouldn’t and doesn’t matter. It’s prohibited to harass people on the basis of their sex, sexual orientation, gender identity and gender expression, and also on the basis of their race/ethnicity, disability/ability status, and their religion. All those characteristics are protected, which means people can’t harass you because of them.

You are not responsible for figuring out exactly why someone is harassing you.

If you’re being harassed on the basis of your sex, sexual orientation, gender identity, or gender expression, even if you are also being harassed for other reasons, that’s workplace sexual harassment. It shouldn’t be happening, and it’s prohibited under Canadian law.

Important

This is just general information, not legal advice. If you need legal advice about your specific situation, we urge you to find a lawyer who can help you.

There are dozens of laws in Canada created to protect people against sexual harassment. Each one is different. After reading this article, you won’t know for sure if the law in Canada would say you’ve been sexually harassed. We’re sorry! We wish we could tell you that, but we can’t.

Here’s what we can tell you:

If you are being sexually harassed at work, there are two main types of law in Canada that apply to you.

employment and labour laws, designed to protect workers
human rights laws, designed to protect everybody

Those laws are all different. But they’re all intended to protect against harassment on the basis of sex, sexual orientation, gender identity and gender expression.

And as they interpret the laws, judges generally ask the same types of questions.

Did the harassment happen on the basis of your sex, sexual orientation, gender identity, or gender expression?

Sexual harassment laws in Canada prohibit harassment on the basis of sex, sexual orientation, gender identity, or gender expression.

Example of sexual harassment on the basis of sex:

A group of men in a bar sexually harass their server by commenting on her looks and repeatedly propositioning her.

Example of sexual harassment on the basis of sexual orientation:

A man sexually harasses another man by making fun of him for being gay.

Example of sexual harassment on the basis of gender identity:

A group of men sexually harass a trans woman by asking her questions about her gender and using anti-trans slurs.

Example of sexual harassment on the basis of gender expression:

A supervisor sexually harasses a female employee by telling her to wear skirts and heels.

If the harassment was based on your sex, your sexual orientation, your gender identity, or your gender expression, that means it qualifies as “sexual.”

Was the behaviour unwelcome?

This is a simple test:

Did the behaviour make you unhappy?
Did you dislike it and wish it would stop?
Did it make you feel offended or demeaned?
Did you find it shocking or vulgar?
Did you feel like you were being abused?

If you answered yes to any of those questions, that would suggest to a judge that you were being harassed.

Would a “reasonable person” find this behaviour unacceptable?

Even if you answered yes to the questions above, a judge wants to know whether a so-called reasonable or average person would feel the same way.

For example, a typical reasonable person might think that a co-worker asking someone out on a date is okay, but a co-worker texting someone pornographic images is not. A judge might then rule that “texting pornographic images” is harassment, but asking someone out once is not. Even if both those things felt like harassment to you, the “reasonable person” standard would suggest to a judge that they’re not the same.

Sometimes this question is what a “reasonable person,” a “reasonable woman,” a “reasonable gay man,” or some other kind of person might think. Its purpose is always the same: to ask whether somebody reasonable, experiencing a particular kind of behaviour, would consider it to be harassment.

Did the bad behaviour happen only once or more often?

Normally, for behaviour to count as sexual harassment, it has to happen more than once. But if the behaviour was really bad—like if your boss literally told you he would fire you if you didn’t have sex with him—once might be enough for it to count under the law.

That’s how the laws work in general.

To know which laws apply to you, you need to know whether you work in an industry that’s provincially regulated or federally regulated.

Read Am I a federally regulated worker? (And why it matters)

You didn’t ask to be sexually harassed. It’s not like you have a plan for this.

So the experts say that, before you do anything else, it’s a good idea to take some time to gather information. That should help you decide what to do next.

Here’s what you’re trying to figure out.

Does your work seem like the kind of place that tolerates harassment?

There’s no way to know for sure. But here are some questions you can ask yourself:

Is your workplace aggressive and competitive?
Is leadership mostly male?
Do some people at your work have a lot of power and others very little?
Do people talk and joke about sex a lot?
Do people openly make fun of other people?
Are people openly racist or sexist?
Have you ever seen anyone treated badly and nobody stopped it?
Is there anybody who everybody knows harasses people but nobody has stopped them?

Those are all bad signs. If they describe your workplace, that would suggest your it may tolerate sexual harassment.

Here are some more questions:

Does your workplace seem like it cares about fairness?
Does your boss seem to care about you as a person?
Is there an HR department?
Have you ever had sexual harassment training at work?
Is there a sexual harassment policy that’s easily available to you?
Is your workplace pretty balanced in terms of gender?
Are there women, 2SLGBTQIA+ people, and racialized people in leadership positions?
Would you be able to report to someone who is not a man?
Do you know and trust the person you’d be reporting to?
When people at your work behave badly, does anybody stop them?
Does your workplace seem like it respects the people who work there?
Does it seem like it cares about them as people?

If any of those describe your workplace, that’s good. It suggests your employer may take sexual harassment seriously.

Why does this matter? Because employers vary a lot. Some are great and will quickly take steps to solve the problem. Some are awful and will punish you for even bringing it up. (That’s against the law, but it happens anyway.) It’s worth spending a little time thinking about your employer and how likely they are to handle this problem well.

Are there co-workers you can talk with?

Talking with co-workers can be really helpful, or it can cause you serious problems. It depends on the co-worker.

A good co-worker will believe you and support you. They might give you useful information and advice. They might be able to protect you from the person who’s harassing you, or help you persuade your bosses to take the harassment seriously.

A bad co-worker may judge you and gossip about you.

Before you talk with any co-workers, it’s worth taking some time to figure out who seems trustworthy.

Are there people with power at your work you might be able to trust?

Think about the people with power at your workplace:

your own supervisor
your supervisor’s boss, if they have one
people in HR or scheduling
anybody who has been working there for a long time
anybody other people seem to take seriously
anybody in a position of authority, even if they’re in another department or division
your union rep, if you’re a union member, or someone else at your union, like a “women’s trustee” or a “human rights officer”
anyone with responsibility for worker health and safety

What do you think about those people? Is there anyone who seems especially thoughtful or kind? Is there anyone you’ve ever seen defend someone weaker than they are, or step in to stop bad behaviour?

Why does this matter? Because later you might want to talk to someone with power and get their advice or help. It’s worth thinking now about who you might pick.

Is there a sexual harassment policy, and if so what does it say?

Some employers have a sexual harassment policy and some don’t. Large employers usually do.

If yours does, it might be posted on a wall, or on the company intranet if there is one. Sometimes it will be part of an employee handbook or an HR manual. The name of the policy might not include the words “sexual harassment.” If you can’t find anything with that title, look for phrases like “workplace harassment,” “workplace violence,” “sexual violence,” “respect in the workplace,” “code of conduct,” or “code of practice.”

If you can’t find anything yourself, you might be able to get a copy from your union rep or HR rep, if you have one. You might want to be careful about how you ask. Consider asking for the employee handbook or policy book, and maybe avoid saying why you want it, if your gut feeling is it might be dangerous to say why.

If you’re a union member, your collective agreement might also have information about sexual harassment. You can ask your union rep for a copy.

Why should you do this?If your employer has a detailed policy, it’s good for you to know what it says. If they don’t, that’s useful information too. At this point, you’re just gathering information, and the more you have, the better.

What other supports might be available to you?

This is a good time to start figuring out what other supports might be available to you.

Important

Below, we’re going to give links to some specific organizations. We’re not endorsing them or their work, and we’re not saying they’ll be able to help you. They’re just examples of the kinds of supports that might be available. You should do your own research to find organizations and associations that might fit your situation.

Some employers have an Employee Assistance Program, which offers confidential services for workers who are having personal and/or work-related problems. EAPs often provide free counselling. You can ask HR if there’s an EAP at your workplace.
Some employers have health and safety committees, whose job it is to make sure the workplace is safe. You can ask around to find out if your workplace has one.
If you’re unionized and don’t know who your union rep is, this is a good time to find out. You might also want to investigate whether your union has people dedicated to gender or human rights issues. Look for phrases like “human rights officer,” “women’s committee,” or “women’s caucus.”
For some jobs, there are professional associations or membership organizations. Like, there is the Canadian Support Workers Association, the Canadian Teachers Federation, and Chartered Professional Accountants Canada.
Some industries have associations representing workers with particular identities. Like, there’s the Federal Black Employee Caucus for Black people in the federal public service, and there’s the Canadian Coalition of Women in Engineering, Science, Trades and Technology.
Some big employers have groups for workers with particular identities, like women, or 2SLGBTQIA+ people, or Indigenous people, or people with disabilities. These are often called “employee resource groups.” (Spotify has some, as do Magna, Air Canada, Manulife, BMO, Telus, and CIBC.) Sometimes these groups are official (sponsored by the employer) and sometimes they’re not. It’s worth poking around to see if there’s a group at your workplace for people like you.
You might be able to find informal groups or communities online. Like, there’s a Facebook group for women welders in Canada. There’s the Canadian Restaurant Workers Coalition. There is Women in Forestry Canada. There’s a subreddit for women in tech. There’s the Migrant Workers Alliance for Change. Serving with Pride supports 2SLGBTQI+ employees in policing, corrections, and criminal justice professions. There’s the Indigenous Professional Association of Canada.

Why does this matter? Experts say that, at this point, you should be looking around to see where you might find help if you need it. You might not want to reach out to these people and groups now, but you may want to later.

That’s it!

You’ve done a lot now. You’ve assessed your workplace, figured out who there you might be able to trust, figured out whether there’s a policy that might protect you, and identified some of the other supports that might be available to you later if you need them.

That’s great. Now you’re in a better position to figure out what you want to do.

Most people who are being sexually harassed don’t report the harassment to their employer, because they don’t want a formal investigation. It’s really common for people to feel like the harassment isn’t serious enough to be worth reporting, or to worry that an investigation will make things worse for them, not better.

If you do want a formal investigation, read about how to make an official report to your employer.

If you don’t want a formal investigation, you’ll need to be careful.

Why? Because some workplaces are subject to laws or internal policies that require an investigation whenever that workplace has any reason to believe somebody might be being sexually harassed. In those workplaces, if you talk with your supervisor or HR about sexual harassment, they may have to start an investigation even if you don’t want them to, and even if they don’t want to.

If you think your workplace might be like that and you don’t want to trigger a formal investigation, here are some scripts for how you might be able to talk with your employer without triggering anything formal. But we need to warn you: these scripts may not work. Any time you raise the issue of sexual harassment with somebody at work, it’s possible an investigation may get triggered, even if nobody wants one.

That said, here are some scripts you might try:

I want to talk with you confidentially about a problem I’m having here at work with another person. But before I can do that, I would need you to promise me that this would be confidential. I don’t want HR involved or anything like that. Can you promise me we can keep it between us?

Let’s say, hypothetically, there’s a trans person in this office, and one of their co-workers finds out their old name and won’t stop using it. If that happened, and the trans person reported it to their supervisor, would the supervisor have to launch an official harassment investigation, or do you think they could just talk to the co-worker and tell them to use the trans person’s correct name?

I wanted to talk with you because I trust you. I’m having a problem here at work, with another person. I thought it would go away but it isn’t. I don’t want to name names right now. But I am looking for advice. Can I speak with you confidentially?

If you don’t care whether you trigger an investigation, or if you feel pretty confident that you won’t, then you could try these kinds of scripts:

I don’t know if you know this but the new co-owner has been coming into the bar most nights. He’s been getting pretty drunk, and when that happens, he gets flirty with me and the other women. Can you talk to him and get this shut down before it gets any worse?

I’ve been starting to feel uncomfortable about the guys in the warehouse. There’s always been a lot of teasing and joking, and lately I’ve been feeling like it’s crossing a line. The other day one guy used an anti-gay slur in front of me. I don’t want to get anybody in trouble and I don’t want anyone to feel like I’m ratting them out. But I’m worried this is getting worse. Can I ask you to step in and see if you can get them to take it down a notch?

You know Ernie, the client I’ve been helping with his foot care? Last time I was there he was pawing at me. I’m not sure if he really knows what he’s doing, because of his dementia. But still, it was scary, because we’re alone and he’s pretty strong. Do you think you could assign him to someone else, maybe a man, instead of me?

In our office, there’s a lot of sexual banter. People use crass language loudly in the common areas, there are a lot of sex jokes, and stuff like that. It’s not directed at me; in fact I think they try to tone it down around me because they can tell it makes me uncomfortable. But still, it happens every day. I find it distracting and I think it’s inappropriate at work. Do you think you could talk to people and ask them to cut it out? I don’t want anyone to get in trouble. I would just really like it if they would stop.

Our client Dan is being kind of awful. He keeps talking about how ‘cute’ and ‘fun’ I am, and complimenting me on what I’m wearing. Yesterday he heard I’m getting married, and he made a whole thing out of how sad he was. I’m starting to get creeped out. I feel like it could be risky for me to try to address this myself, because I’m so junior and he’s an important client. I would really like to be moved to a different file. Do you think we could do that?

I work at night with Ben. This is weird, but when we pass each other in the halls at night, he always pretends to punch me in the groin. He’s laughing and he obviously means it as a joke. But I don’t find it funny. Every time he does it, I ask him to stop, but he keeps doing it. Do you think you could tell him he really does need to stop?

You know I’m trans. Erin found out my old name, the one I had before I transitioned, and now she keeps calling me by it. I’ve asked her to stop, but she keeps using it, and she says it shouldn’t bother me because she’s not trying to be offensive. But it does bother me and it is offensive. Can you talk to her and make her stop?

In talking with your employer, try to be clear about what you want. If you want them to talk directly with the harasser, you can tell them that. If you would rather they handle it some other way, tell them that. Your employer may not be able to handle the harassment the way you want them to, but in a good scenario they will try.

When you get sexually harassed at work, you have three basic options. You can:

stay at work and try to cope, without reporting the harassment
stay at work and formally report the harassment to someone in a position of authority
quit your job

Each of those choices will affect you financially.

In this article, we’ll go through them one by one.

What happens if you decide to stay at work and try to cope

We’ll start with the choice that’s the most common. Most people, at least at first, decide to stay at work and try to cope with the harassment.

From a purely financial perspective this is your best bet, because it means things stay pretty much the same money-wise.

You might find yourself needing to spend extra money to keep yourself safe. (Like, taking a taxi instead of the bus, or buying a safety app for your phone.) Or you might find yourself giving up some of your ability to earn money. (Like, to avoid the harasser, you might need to drop certain shifts or certain customers.)

But, in general, if you stay with your current job, things probably won’t change much from a financial perspective.

At least, not at first.

We need to warn you, though. Researchers say that if you get sexually harassed over a long period of time—whether it’s by one person or lots of different people—it will start to grind away at your mental health. And that can end up costing you money.

You might end up needing to take unpaid sick days or go on a stress leave. Maybe you end up spending lots of money on things to make yourself feel better. Maybe you end up needing to see a therapist, or pay for medication.
As the stress piles up, you might find yourself doing less well at your job, which can also cost you money. You might not get promoted, or get a raise. In a really bad scenario, you could get fired.
If the harassment goes on long enough, some people find themselves waking up one day just completely unable to go into work. They are so stressed and so burned out they are just done. They thought they were doing okay until one day they just…weren’t.

Staying at work and trying to cope can turn out okay. But you may be affected financially, and, if the harassment is bad enough, you could end up unable to work.

What happens if you decide to formally report the harassment

Reporting sexual harassment is risky.

If you have a good employer, they will handle your report fine, and you shouldn’t suffer any financial consequences.

But for most people, it’s not like that.

When people complain about being harassed, it’s common for their employer to end up punishing them for it, and that punishment is often financial. You get fewer shifts, fewer hours, fewer assignments. You get demoted, or denied a raise or promotion that you should have gotten. In a worst-case scenario, you get fired.

And it’s not just your employer who can cause you financial harm. Your co-workers and broader professional network can cost you money, too.

That’s because when people hear that someone has complained about being sexually harassed—whether that person is a co-worker, a professional acquaintance, or a boss at another company—it’s unfortunately common for them to decide the person who reported is a troublemaker and a drama queen.

That can cost you money because normally we rely on other people to help us make money. Other people tell us about opportunities, tell us how to get promoted or get a raise, and recommend us for jobs. If that stops happening, our finances are going to suffer.

So reporting harassment is financially risky. It might work out okay, but if people decide you’re a troublemaker, that might cost you money.

What happens if you decide to quit your job

Quitting your job might seem like the best financial decision you could make. You get to leave on your terms and your own timeline, which means there’s no gap in your pay. And you get away from the whole problem and all the risk it creates.

But most people who quit their job to get away from sexual harassment? They end up making less at their next job.

When women leave a job due to sexual harassment, research indicates that they often move to a job of lower quality or with lower pay. This impacts women’s short- and long-term economic security as they earn less and ultimately retire with less income.
Deborah J. Vagins and Mary Gatta, American Association of University Women
“Limiting Our Livelihoods: The Cumulative Impact of Sexual Harassment on Women’s Careers.”

One study found that four out of five people who were sexually harassed had a different job two years later. The researchers interviewed those people, and here are some of the stories they found:

A flight attendant ended up taking a job at a hospital. Her pay dropped 50%.
A patient-care worker took a different job doing the same kind of work. Her pay dropped 9%.
A nurse took a different nursing job. Her pay dropped 40%.
An administrative assistant took a job at a call centre. Her pay dropped 52%.
An apprentice in the construction industry took a job as a bus driver. Her pay dropped 29%.
A shift leader at a fast-food restaurant took a job at a different fast-food restaurant. Her pay dropped 11%.

Those people weren’t just getting paid less; their new jobs were also financially worse in other ways. They were less likely to offer a pension. Benefits were worse. There was less vacation time.

Why do people end up in worse-paying jobs?

When a person has been harassed, it can be hard for them to explain why they left (or are leaving) their last job.
They might end up leaving without a good reference.
They might be seeking a job where they’re less likely to get harassed again, which might involve accepting lower-paid work.
They might not be at their best mentally or emotionally while they’re job hunting.

People are especially likely to take a big pay cut if they’re currently working in a majority-male environment, like mining and gas, construction, policing, the military, science, engineering, or technology.

Why? Because majority-male environments generally pay a lot more than industries that don’t have a lot of men. Researchers call this a “wage premium.”

When people leave a majority-male workplace due to harassment, they’ll often decide to seek out a workplace that doesn’t include a lot of men, so they can avoid being harassed again.

That’s how people can end up with a big pay cut. They are giving up the “wage premium” of a majority-male industry in exchange for lowering their risk of getting harassed.

Let’s recap.

If you stay at work and try to cope, your costs might be pretty small. But in a worst-case scenario, you could end up getting so stressed out that you’re unable to work at all.
If you formally report, your costs could be zero. But if you get tagged as a troublemaker, your career—and therefore also your finances—could really suffer.
If you quit your job, your costs could be zero. But it’s fairly likely your next job will pay less, and—especially if you currently work in a majority-male environment—maybe a lot less.

We looked for Canadian information on the lifetime costs of sexual harassment, but couldn’t find any. But we did find U.S. data.

A 2021 report from the U.S. Institute for Women’s Policy Research and the Time’s Up Foundation says that, for a low-paid service-sector worker who changes their job due to sexual harassment, the lifetime costs of being sexually harassed will be about $160,000. For an apprentice in a majority-male trade environment, the lifetime cost might be as high as $1.7 million.

That’s serious money. You shouldn’t have to lose it. It’s not fair.

But now that you know what sexual harassment can cost you, you can take steps to protect yourself.