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Aftermetoo’s vision is a world in which everyone can thrive, unimpeded by gender-based harassment at work.

That’s not the world we live in.

Gender-based workplace harassment (GBWH) does not only affect people emotionally. It affects their careers. And when it affects careers, it affects money. Over time, those financial effects accumulate. For many people, they are large and permanent.

Although no Canadian dataset currently quantifies the lifetime financial cost of workplace sexual harassment, a substantial body of American research has examined its economic impact. The findings are consistent: harassment functions as a career-disrupting event, often comparable to serious injury or illness, incarceration, or other major life shocks.

Harassment as a Career-Interrupting Event

The early years of a person’s working life — typically their twenties and early thirties — are usually a period of steady employment and rising compensation. It is during this period that people build credentials, develop professional networks, and position themselves for long-term income growth. Wage increases during this stage compound over time, forming the basis for future earnings, promotions, and retirement savings.

It is also the period in which people, especially women and gender-non-normative people, are at highest risk of workplace harassment.

Research suggests that when harassment occurs during this early career stage, it often operates as what scholars describe as a “scarring” event. People who experience harassment are significantly more likely to leave their jobs prematurely than those who do not. One major study found that women who report sexual harassment are more than six times more likely to exit their jobs. When people leave because of harassment, they frequently experience a period of unemployment or underemployment. Even when they re-enter the workforce quickly, they often accept positions of lower quality or lower pay.

These early disruptions alter long-term earnings trajectories. Lost raises are not just lost in the year they would have been earned; they reduce the base upon which future raises would have been calculated. Over decades, the difference compounds.

Retaliation and the Cost of Reporting

Many people assume that formal reporting will correct the problem. In practice, reporting often introduces new risks.

Research estimates that a substantial proportion of people who report sexual harassment experience retaliation. Retaliation can be overt, such as termination, demotion, denial of shifts, or blocked promotions. It can also be subtle. A person may become viewed as “difficult,” “disruptive,” or “not a team player.” Their opportunities for advancement may narrow. Performance evaluations may shift. Professional relationships may cool.

Even in cases where no formal punishment occurs, reputational harm can affect long-term earnings. Advancement depends not only on formal qualifications but also on informal sponsorship, goodwill, and access to networks. When those diminish, so does upward mobility.

The financial effects of retaliation often unfold gradually. They may not be visible in a single year’s income, but they reshape a career over time.

Industry Exit and Long-Term Earnings Loss

In high-harassment industries, people sometimes respond by leaving the field entirely. Research indicates that when people exit male-dominated, higher-paying industries due to harassment, they frequently move into sectors that pay less. This is not typically a lifestyle choice. It is a harm-reduction strategy.

American studies estimate that the lifetime cost to a woman pushed out of a high-paying industry due to harassment can reach approximately USD $1.3 million. These estimates include lost wage growth, foregone promotions, industry exit, and long-term compounding effects. Although there is no comparable Canadian lifetime estimate, the underlying labour market dynamics are similar.

Industry exit has structural consequences. Certain sectors offer higher wages, better benefits, and stronger long-term earnings growth. Being forced out of those sectors due to harassment represents not just a short-term setback but a permanent shift in economic trajectory.

Immediate Financial Consequences

The economic harm of GBWH is not only long-term. For some people, the financial impact is immediate and severe.

Unexpected job loss can interrupt income with little warning. Even short gaps in employment can destabilize people who are living paycheque to paycheque. Legal fees, therapy, medication, relocation expenses, and costs associated with ensuring personal safety can add further financial strain.

For people in low-paid or precarious employment, even minor disruptions can trigger cascading consequences. Missed payments lead to late fees and higher interest rates. Credit ratings can decline. Student loan balances can grow. Vehicles can be repossessed. Housing may become unstable. The financial effects are particularly harsh for people without savings or family support.

In these circumstances, harassment does not merely reduce future income; it destabilizes present security.

Long-Term Economic Security

Over time, the cumulative financial effects of workplace harassment can shape a person’s entire economic life. Periods of unemployment reduce lifetime earnings. Lower-paying jobs reduce retirement contributions. Delayed promotions affect pension calculations. Industry exit can permanently cap income potential.

Women already retire with less wealth than men on average. Time away from work, slower wage growth, and interrupted career paths further widen that gap. The long-term consequences may include delayed retirement, reduced retirement security, and diminished intergenerational wealth transfer.

These are not abstract losses. They affect housing stability, caregiving capacity, and independence in old age.

The Harm Is Structural, Not Strategic

The financial damage caused by harassment does not depend on whether a person reports, confronts, stays, or leaves. People’s responses are rational navigation strategies within constrained systems.

Some stay and absorb the harm quietly. Some report and face retaliation. Some quit and accept lower wages for safety. Some change industries. None of these strategies reliably protects income.

The financial harm flows from workplace structures that fail to prevent harassment and often protect institutions over people. The economic losses are not the result of poor decision-making by those who experience harassment. They are predictable outcomes of systems that do not function as intended.

Conclusion

Gender-based workplace harassment is often framed as a cultural or interpersonal problem. It is also an economic one.

It affects wage growth, job stability, industry participation, and retirement security. It can alter a person’s lifetime earnings by hundreds of thousands — and in some cases over a million — dollars. It can destabilize people in the short term and reduce economic security in the long term.

The financial harm is not incidental. It is one of the core ways workplace harassment constrains people’s ability to thrive.

This is the landscape our work is responding to.


Appendix: Bibliography

Cowhey, Maureen R. 2019. Measuring the Economic Costs of Workplace Sexual Harassment on Women. Scripps Senior Theses.

Institute for Women’s Policy Research and Time’s Up Foundation. 2021. Paying Today and Tomorrow: Charting the Financial Costs of Workplace Sexual Harassment.

Limiting Our Livelihoods: The Cumulative Impact of Sexual Harassment on Women’s Careers. 2019. American Association of University Women. November.

McLaughlin, Heather, Christopher Uggen, and Amy Blackstone. 2017. “The Economic and Career Effects of Sexual Harassment on Working Women.” Gender & Society 31 (3): 333–358. https://doi.org/10.1177/0891243217704631

National Partnership for Women & Families. 2023. Sexual Harassment and the Gender Wage Gap. https://nationalpartnership.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/sexual-harassment-and-the-gender-wage-gap.pdf 

Executive Summary

Across Canada and other advanced economies, women remain persistently underrepresented in technical roles in the technology industry, and leave those roles at much higher rates than their male peers. Their departures are not driven by lack of interest, lack of ability, or family-related choices. Instead, a large and consistent body of research shows that women enter technical work well-qualified and highly motivated, and decide to leave after concluding that their work is yielding less recognition, influence, and advancement than comparable work by their male peers.

Attrition is most pronounced at mid-career, typically in women’s early to mid-30s, and the experiences that drive it are rarely dramatic or singular. Instead, they have accumulated slowly through everyday peer interactions and informal workplace dynamics. Women consistently report having their technical competence questioned or repeatedly tested by colleagues; being interrupted or talked over in meetings; having their ideas ignored or attributed to other people; being excluded from informal networks where information, reputation, and opportunity circulate; being informally steered toward support or people-facing roles; and receiving slower or less substantive feedback from peers on their work. Many describe interactions with peers that are sexualized in ways they find juvenile and unappealing.

Crucially, very few of these experiences result in formal complaints. Individual incidents are typically judged by the women experiencing them as too minor or ambiguous to justify official action, and are therefore left unreported.

However research shows that, over time, these experiences accumulate to undermine women’s authority, influence, reputation, and access to opportunity within their organizations. As their perceived competence and standing erode—often despite strong performance—their ability to succeed diminishes. Many report having received one or two early promotions, and then beginning to encounter stalled advancement. Under these conditions, leaving becomes a rational response to materially constrained prospects.

When they leave, these women do not generally exit the workforce or stop doing technical work. Instead, they leave the technology industry, often moving into technical roles in other sectors—frequently in more gender-balanced environments such as healthcare or education.

The women who leave, research has found, tend to be disproportionately highly educated, ambitious, and accomplished relative to their peers, suggesting that this attrition represents a regrettable loss of talent, rather than a natural sorting of weaker performers.


Introduction

Despite decades of attention to gender diversity in the technology industry, women remain significantly under-represented in technical roles and are far more likely than men to leave those roles midway through their careers. This pattern is well documented across a wide range of technical roles in the technology industry, particularly in work where advancement depends on informal collaboration, reputation, and peer evaluation. It appears across countries, organizational types, and economic cycles, including in labour markets where demand for technical talent is strong.

The persistence of this pattern has generated a wide range of theories and hypotheses, including ones citing differences in educational pathways, early career entry patterns, personal preferences, and work–life balance considerations. 

However, a large body of empirical research challenges these accounts. Women who enter technical work do so for the same reasons men do: interest in the work itself, enjoyment of problem-solving, and the opportunity to contribute to complex, high-impact projects. While they are underrepresented at every stage of the pipeline, their early career satisfaction is generally high. Over time, however, cumulative workplace experiences gradually erode that satisfaction, with many ultimately exiting at midcareer.

This document focuses on what happens to women after they enter technical work: how their experiences change over time, why attrition spikes at mid‑career, and how everyday workplace conditions—particularly low‑level harassment and harassment‑like behaviour—shape these outcomes.


The Scale and Timing of Attrition

Multiple large‑scale studies show that women leave technical roles in the technology industry at substantially higher rates than men, even when controlling for education, experience, and family status. Ten years after graduation, only a minority of women who originally trained in STEM fields remain in STEM roles, while men with comparable backgrounds are far more likely to persist.

Attrition is not evenly distributed across the career span. Instead, it spikes at mid‑career, typically in women’s early to mid‑30s. At this stage, many women report having reached the beginning ranks of senior individual contributor or management roles, only to find that further progression has become markedly more difficult. Promotions slow or stop, access to high‑visibility projects narrows, and professional isolation intensifies.

For many women, the cumulative effect is a growing sense that their contributions are not rewarded in proportion to their value. When a less experienced male colleague whom they hired or trained is promoted ahead of them, this often crystallizes a pattern that has been developing for years and becomes the breaking point that prompts their exit.


Early Career Motivation and Later Disillusionment

Research consistently finds that women enter technical fields with high levels of confidence, ambition, and intrinsic motivation. In early career surveys, women report strong satisfaction with the technical content of their work, and a desire to advance.

Over time, however, this motivation erodes. Studies show a sharp decline in self‑reported ambition among women in technical roles as they age, a pattern that is significantly steeper than among men in the same fields and steeper than among women in non‑technical professions.

This does not reflect diminished interest in technology or reduced capability. Rather, it tracks changes in how women experience their workplaces and how their efforts are rewarded.


Everyday Harassment and Hostile Work Environments

When workplace harassment is discussed, attention often focuses on severe or overt misconduct. Those incidents do occur and must be addressed. However research shows that women’s day‑to‑day experiences are more commonly shaped by a different category of behaviour: persistent, low‑level actions that signal exclusion, devaluation, or threat.

These behaviours include:

  • comments about women’s capabilities and suitability for technical work
  • repeated interruptions or dismissal in meetings
  • public or private questioning of their competence
  • having their work vetted more thoroughly than that of male colleagues
  • social exclusion from informal networks where information and opportunities circulate
  • sexualized jokes, comments, or “pranks”
  • being hit on by colleagues or subjected to unwanted personal attention
  • disproportionate focus on their appearance, relationships, or family plans
  • being steered toward people-facing or “soft” roles rather than technical work
  • assignment of low-status, non-promotable office work (e.g., note-taking, event planning)
  • being expected to provide ongoing emotional support for others’ personal lives
  • being labeled as “difficult,” “abrasive,” or otherwise penalized for assertive behaviour
  • being mistaken for, or treated as, administrative or support staff

Individually, these behaviours are often dismissed as trivial. Collectively, they contribute to a hostile or distracting environment that imposes additional cognitive and emotional burdens on women.


Harassment, Power, and Punishment

Research on workplace harassment emphasizes that such behaviour is not primarily about sexual interest, but about power and norm enforcement. Women who violate gender expectations—by being assertive, ambitious, or authoritative—are more likely to be targeted for harassment or social punishment.

This dynamic helps explain why competent women are often described as abrasive or unlikeable in performance evaluations, and why identical behaviour is evaluated differently depending on the gender of the person exhibiting it.

Harassment thus operates not only as a source of immediate harm, but as a mechanism that constrains women’s behaviour and career trajectories over time.


Accumulated Disadvantage and Stalled Advancement

Beyond overt harassment, women in technical roles face a pattern of accumulated disadvantage that manifests in everyday work processes. Research documents that women are more likely than men to:

  • receive slower or less detailed feedback
  • be excluded from high‑profile assignments
  • be steered toward support, coordination, or people‑facing roles
  • have their contributions attributed to others
  • be evaluated on the basis of personality traits rather than work quality

Small biases at each stage compound over time. Simulation studies show that even minimal bias in promotion decisions can produce extreme gender imbalance at senior levels after multiple promotion cycles.


Psychological Consequences and Identity Threat

The research literature describes several psychological mechanisms through which hostile or exclusionary environments affect performance and retention. One of the most studied is stereotype threat: the cognitive load imposed when people are aware that they may be judged through the lens of negative stereotypes about their group.

Women experiencing stereotype threat report heightened vigilance, rumination, and self‑monitoring. While these responses may initially lead to increased effort, over time they reduce performance, satisfaction, and well‑being. Chronic exposure is associated with burnout and withdrawal from the field.

Importantly, stereotype threat and related dynamics are largely invisible to those who do not experience them, contributing to misunderstanding and minimization within organizations.


Why Formal Systems Miss the Problem

Most organizations have sexual harassment and/or violence prevention policies that require complaints to be handled through formal investigative processes, even when the people involved might prefer a less formal approach. These investigations are typically led by Human Resources, sometimes with legal counsel involved, and may include the use of external investigators.

While appropriate for serious misconduct, these processes are widely felt to be disproportionate for everyday workplace issues, and they produce a range of unintended consequences. Employees and supervisors alike hesitate to discuss behavioural norms and expectations, for fear those conversations could be interpreted as complaints or give rise to them. People who experience or witness problematic behaviour hesitate to raise concerns unless they perceive the incident as especially severe. And supervisors, in turn, may minimize issues or discourage formal reports, to avoid needing to initiate a process that could be costly, disruptive, or misaligned with the scope and scale of the issue.

As a result, lower-level but persistent problems are not simply overlooked; organizational incentives actively discourage their identification and discussion. Because these issues therefore remain unaddressed, their cumulative effects progressively degrade working conditions and ultimately drive employee exit.


Agency, Choice, and Exit

Women’s attrition from technical work is often described as women being “pushed out.” The research supports a different interpretation.

Women who leave technical roles in the technical industry are disproportionately well educated, experienced, and highly employable, and they do not typically withdraw from paid work. Most transition into other industries, other business functions, academia, or government.

They choose to exit their workplaces because they judge—accurately—that their contributions are not being rewarded in proportion to their value. In the face of persistent undervaluation, stalled advancement, and routine low-level harassment, many conclude that other sectors, functions, or organizations will offer a better return on their talent.

From this perspective, attrition reflects agency rather than passivity. Women are not being defeated by technical work or even by harassment itself; they are simply choosing to invest elsewhere. The loss is borne primarily by the technology industry itself.

Understanding women’s departure as a choice, rather than an expulsion, reframes the problem. The issue is not women’s skills or resilience or commitment, but organizational failure to create environments in which elite technical talent sees continued participation as worthwhile.

Conclusion

The evidence is clear: women do not exit their technical workplaces because they lack interest or ability. They leave because everyday workplace conditions—shaped by low-level harassment, bias, and exclusion—no longer justify continued investment of their talent.

Understanding this pattern requires shifting attention away from rare, severe incidents of workplace harassment and violence, toward the cumulative impact of small everyday harassment-like behaviours. For employers seeking to retain technical talent, the challenge is not merely to prevent and punish the worst cases of misconduct, but to recognize and address the ordinary conditions that quietly drive away capable people.


Sources and Further Reading

The analysis in this document draws on a body of research examining women’s experiences in technical roles in the technology industry, with particular attention to everyday harassment, peer dynamics, job quality, and mid-career attrition. Sources include more than 200 peer-reviewed journal articles, major industry studies, conference proceedings, and selected dissertations. Below is a partial list. 

The bibliography is organized from core workplace-exit research outward to contextual and background sources.


Core Research on Retention, Exit, and Job Quality in Technology

  • Chyn, Eric, Justine Hastings, Lesley Hirsch, Akiva Yonah Meiselman, Karen Shen, and Seth D. Zimmerman. Women in STEM and Job Quality. SSRN working paper, April 2025.
  • Singh, Romila, Yejun Zhang, Min (Maggie) Wan, and Nadya A. Fouad. Why Do Women Engineers Leave the Engineering Profession? Human Resource Management 57, no. 4 (2018): 901–914.
  • Smith, N. E., S. B. Costello, and S. Chowdhury. Achieving Gender Balance in Engineering: Examining the Reasons for Women’s Intent to Leave the Profession. Journal of Management in Engineering 38, no. 4 (2022).
  • Halliday, C. S., S. C. Paustian-Underdahl, C. Stride, and H. Zhang. Retaining Women in Male-Dominated Occupations across Cultures: The Role of Supervisor Support and Psychological Safety. Human Performance 35, nos. 3–4 (2022): 156–177.

Harassment, Incivility, and Everyday Bias in Technical Work

  • Saxena, M. Workplace Incivility in STEM Organizations: A Typology of STEM Incivility and Affective Consequences for Women Employees. Journal of Business Ethics 192 (2024): 501–525.
  • Kim, J. Y., and A. Meister. Microaggressions, Interrupted: The Experience and Effects of Gender Microaggressions for Women in STEM. Journal of Business Ethics 185 (2023): 513–531.
  • Williams, Joan, Rachel Korn, and Asma Ghani. Pinning Down the Jellyfish: The Workplace Experiences of Women of Color in Tech. Center for WorkLife Law, University of California College of the Law, San Francisco, 2022.
  • Fitzgerald, Louise F., et al. The Sexual Harassment of Uppity Women. Journal of Applied Psychology (2007).

Lived Experience, Peer Dynamics, and Survival in Software and Engineering

  • Van Breukelen, S., A. Barcomb, S. Baltes, and A. Serebrenik. “Still Around”: Experiences and Survival Strategies of Veteran Women Software Developers. Proceedings of the ACM/IEEE International Conference on Software Engineering, 2023.
  • Trinkenreich, Bianca, Ricardo Britto, Marco A. Gerosa, and Igor Steinmacher. An Empirical Investigation on the Challenges Faced by Women in the Software Industry: A Case Study. Proceedings of the ACM/IEEE International Conference on Software Engineering – Software Engineering in Society, 2022.
  • Ross, Monique, and Allison Godwin. Stories of Black Women in the Engineering Industry: Why They Leave. Proceedings of the IEEE Frontiers in Education Conference, 2015.

Quantitative Patterns of Attrition and Exit

  • Kander, Josiane. Attrition Rates in the Engineering Industry by Gender and Time. PhD diss., Mississippi State University, 2024.
  • Houston, Tyene. STEM Barriers: An Examination of Factors That Accelerate the Exit of Women Engineers from Industry. PhD diss., Pepperdine University, 2022.

Background and Early Context (Pipeline and Aspirations)

  • Hill, Catherine, Christianne Corbett, and Andresse St. Rose. Why So Few? Women in Science, Technology, Engineering, and Mathematics. American Association of University Women, 2010.
  • Nguyen, Ursula, Tatiane Russo-Tait, Catherine Riegle-Crumb, and Katherine Doerr. Changing the Gendered Status Quo in Engineering? The Encouraging and Discouraging Experiences of Young Women with Engineering Aspirations. Science Education 106, no. 6 (2022): 1442–1468.

Retention-Focused Syntheses and Practitioner Research

  • Holtzblatt, Karen, and Nicola Marsden. Retaining Women in Tech: Shifting the Paradigm. Morgan & Claypool Publishers, 2022.
  • Center for Talent Innovation. The Athena Factor: Reversing the Brain Drain in Science, Engineering, and Technology. Harvard Business Review, 2008.
  • Center for Talent Innovation. Athena 2.0: Accelerating Female Talent in Science, Engineering, and Technology. 2014.
  • National Center for Women & Information Technology (NCWIT). Women in IT: The Facts. 2010.
  • Catalyst. Stemming the Tide: Why Women Leave Engineering. National Science Foundation–funded report, 2012.
  • National Bureau of Economic Research. Why Do Women Leave Science and Engineering? 2010.

Gen Z is the most diverse, digitally fluent, and socially conscious generation in history. They’re entering the workforce with a radically different understanding of gender, power, and consent—and they’re doing so in an era of institutional distrust, economic instability, and post-#MeToo accountability. Gen Z doesn’t see workplace sexual harassment as a side issue—it’s a litmus test for whether a workplace is safe, ethical, and worth staying in. To retain Gen Z talent, employers need to understand Gen Z and adapt to how they see things.

Who is Generation Z?

Generation Z, often abbreviated as Gen Z, refers to the cohort of people born roughly between 1997 and 2012. In Canada, this group currently includes teenagers and young adults, with the oldest members now in their late twenties and the youngest still in elementary school. Estimates suggest that Gen Z makes up about 20% of the Canadian population, or around 7.6 million people. They are the first generation to grow up entirely in the digital age, with smartphones, social media, and high-speed internet as ubiquitous parts of their environment from early childhood.

Forces That Have Shaped Gen Z

Several global and national forces have influenced Gen Z’s development:

  • Digital immersion: Gen Z is the first generation to experience childhood shaped by smartphones and algorithmically driven social media platforms. As a result, Gen Z had less face-to-face interaction, unstructured outdoor play, and real-world social practice, compared to previous generations. Their social development has been influenced by online validation systems, such as likes and shares, and constant exposure to curated, often unrealistic portrayals of other people’s lives.
  • Climate anxiety: The intensifying climate crisis and its global visibility have made environmental issues a central concern for Gen Z.
  • Economic precarity: Growing up during or after the 2008 financial crisis, and now facing the fallout of the COVID-19 pandemic, housing affordability crises, rising inflation, and the effects of trade wars with the United States, Gen Z is acutely aware of economic instability.
  • Social justice movements: The rise of movements like Black Lives Matter, #MeToo, and Indigenous rights advocacy in Canada has deeply influenced Gen Z’s values and worldview.
  • Pandemic disruption: COVID-19 interrupted education, work entry, and social development during formative years for Gen Z.
  • Globalization: Access to global media and discourse has made Gen Z more internationally aware and culturally fluid than previous generations.
  • Mental health: Relative to earlier generations, Gen Z has heightened levels of anxiety, depression, and social withdrawal.

How Gen Z’s Circumstances Differ From Previous Generations

Gen Z faces a more precarious economic landscape than Boomers or Gen X did at their age. Wages have stagnated while the cost of living has surged, especially in urban centres. Home ownership, once a realistic goal for young adults, is increasingly out of reach. Their educational pathways have become more expensive, and degrees do not guarantee stable employment. At the same time, Gen Z is more educated on average and more likely to pursue post-secondary education. They are also more diverse in terms of race, ethnicity, gender, and sexuality.

Besides economic instability, Gen Z is distinguished by historically high rates of mental health concerns. Anxiety, depression, and self-harming behaviours began rising sharply around 2012 and have remained elevated. These trends are particularly pronounced among girls, who are more likely to experience body image issues and social comparison driven by visual platforms like Instagram and TikTok. Boys, meanwhile, are more likely to experience withdrawal and disengagement, including from school and relationships.

Media and Popular Culture

Gen Z consumes media primarily through digital platforms, and their habits are markedly different from those of millennials. While millennials came of age with big corporate platforms such as Facebook and YouTube, Gen Z’s pop cultural touchstones tend to be more ephemeral and interactive, like TikTok, Snapchat, Twitch, and Discord. Their media consumption is mobile-first, fast-paced, and highly personalized through algorithmic curation.

TikTok in particular represents a paradigmatic shift: it rewards creativity, remix culture, and lo-fi production. Viral trends can emerge, peak, and disappear within days. Gen Z expects to participate in culture, not just consume it; they engage by making videos, creating memes, commenting, and duetting. This participatory culture contrasts with millennials’ consumption of more polished, longer-form content.

Influencers and content creators matter more to Gen Z than mainstream celebrities. They are drawn to people who feel “real” rather than aspirational, and they value transparency over traditional forms of glamour or authority. Cancel culture, while present across both generations, has taken on new dimensions with Gen Z, who are often both hyper-aware of social issues and skeptical of performative activism.

Music preferences are eclectic and less defined by genre; Gen Z listens to everything from hyperpop and SoundCloud rap to lo-fi beats and indie bedroom pop. Spotify and TikTok serve as key discovery tools, often turning obscure artists into overnight sensations. Television and movies are consumed largely through streaming, and Gen Z preferences tilt toward animated series, genre fiction (especially dystopian and speculative), and dark comedy with social commentary.

Influences of Technology

Technology has played a defining role in shaping Gen Z’s worldview, identity, and creative sensibilities. Unlike previous generations, Gen Z has never known a world without the internet, mobile phones, and social media. The generational trajectory of digital engagement reveals a deep shift in how technology has shaped self-perception and aesthetics:

  • Baby boomers often struggled with digital technology and approached it with discomfort or distrust.
  • Gen X defined itself in opposition to boomers by mastering digital tools in the early internet era, when using technology required technical skill, and privacy and security were core concerns.
  • Millennials inherited a sleek, commercialized internet. Their online presence became an extension of lifestyle branding: Instagram-ready, highly curated, aesthetically polished. Their aesthetic embraced minimalism, soft lighting, and calm.

Gen Z’s internet experience has been profoundly different. For them, the internet has always been a corporate space. Their digital native status is accompanied by a native skepticism—an awareness that their attention, data, and identity are always being mined, and somebody is always trying to sell them something. 

Reacting against the corporate internet, Gen Z prefer chaotic, expressive, and sometimes jarring visuals, in opposition to the calm aesthetic of millennials. Their design ethos is influenced by thrift culture, early internet aesthetics, meme logic, and anti-branding and features visual trends like weirdcore, cluttercore, and glitch art.

Aesthetic Preferences

Gen Z aesthetics reject the clean, curated, and aspirational vibe associated with millennial minimalism. Where millennials embraced neutral tones, clean lines, hygge, and “adulting” aesthetics like succulents, open-plan kitchens, and aspirational wellness, Gen Z favours chaos, contradiction, and expressive clutter. Their aesthetic is defined by maximalism, irony, surrealism, nostalgia, and a visible resistance to perfection.

Gen Z aesthetics embrace the ugly, the glitchy, the chaotic, and the strange. Online subcultures such as weirdcore, cluttercore, and goblincore celebrate contradiction, discomfort, and anti-capitalist critique. Their fashion and design choices are influenced by thrift culture, sustainability, and a desire to subvert mainstream beauty standards. Rather than aiming to look perfect or curated, Gen Z often prefers to look expressive, strange, or even off-putting—as a form of resistance to the commodification of identity.

Where millennials presented carefully filtered versions of themselves online, Gen Z is more likely to share mental health struggles, intrusive thoughts, or bizarre humour. Their aesthetic backlash is not just stylistic but ideological. They see millennial minimalism as reflective of false promises—economic stability, personal control, aesthetic harmony—that no longer feel achievable or honest. In its place, Gen Z leans into rawness, weirdness, and hyper-self-awareness, crafting an aesthetic that reflects their anxious, unstable, and hyper-mediated reality.

Beliefs and Attitudes

Unlike previous generations, Gen Z doesn’t assume that authority figures are trustworthy or competent. Their skepticism isn’t rooted in rebellion—it’s grounded in observation. They’ve watched major institutions fail to deliver on promises, protect the vulnerable, or act with transparency. And, growing up online means Gen Z has learned to distrust, cross-reference, screenshot, and dissect official messages. As a result, Gen Z generally does not generally trust or respect institutions such as the news media, law enforcement, or the legislative branch of government. In the workplace, this means they are less likely than previous generations to defer automatically to HR, managers, or senior executives. 

Gen Z is also more likely than previous generations to be activists and organizers. They are less likely to subscribe to traditional ideological labels, and instead generally embrace intersectional and issue-based politics. In general, Gen Z is more ideologically progressive than previous generations on social issues related to gender identity, sexual orientation, racial justice, and climate action. At the same time, there are signs of political divergence within Gen Z, including a small but vocal group, largely male, who are embracing far-right, libertarian or reactionary views. This shift isn’t a contradiction so much as a reaction. It appears to be driven by several factors:

Cultural backlash and identity seeking: In spaces where progressive values are dominant, some young people—particularly straight, white, cisgender young men—feel shamed, sidelined or uncertain about their role. Right-wing influencers often offer a clear (if regressive) script about gender, identity, and power that feels stable and affirming.

Digital radicalization: Platforms like YouTube, TikTok, and Reddit can function as ideological pipelines. Content that starts off ironic, humorous, or critical of “wokeness” can quickly escalate to overt misogyny, racism, or authoritarianism. Algorithms favour provocative and emotionally charged content, creating echo chambers where right-wing ideas become normalized.

Rebellion framed as anti-woke: For some Gen Zers, adopting right-wing or contrarian views is a form of rebellion—especially against what they perceive as progressive orthodoxy in schools, media, or online culture. The far right has effectively branded itself as the new counterculture.

Distrust in institutions, but no left-wing outlet: Many young people are disillusioned with institutions and traditional political parties. While some lean into collective action, others gravitate toward populism, conspiracies, or libertarianism that emphasize individualism and distrust of systems.

Aesthetic, ironic, and meme-driven entry points: Right-wing ideology is often wrapped in humour, aesthetics, and cultural references that make it feel less ideological and more “edgy” or subversive. This blurs the line between sincere belief and trolling—and sometimes makes extremism feel playful or cool.

Sex, Drugs, and Licentious Behaviour

Compared to previous generations, Gen Z tends to be cautious, risk-averse, and restrained. Multiple studies from Canada and elsewhere find Gen Z is less likely to use drugs and alcohol, have sex at an early age, or engage in casual sexual relationships than Gen X or millennials did at the same age.

Sexual behaviour: Gen Z came of age in the era of #MeToo, consent education, online pornography, and digital reputational risk. These forces have produced a generation that is, on average, hesitant and deliberate when it comes to sexual activity. Many report being anxious about physical intimacy, confused about norms, and wary of missteps. While they are more open and accepting about diverse sexual orientations and gender identities, they are also more likely to delay sexual activity and have fewer partners overall.

Substance use: Rates of alcohol and drug use among Gen Z are lower than among millennials and Gen X at comparable ages. Many Gen Zers report abstaining from alcohol altogether, or drinking only occasionally. This reflects both health consciousness and a broader cultural shift away from associating adulthood with excess or rebellion. Cannabis use, where legal, is normalized—but often viewed more as wellness or self-regulation than escapism.

Licentiousness and cultural attitudes: While Gen Z is more open-minded about kink, polyamory, and sex work in theory—and are highly supportive of de-stigmatizing these practices—they are less likely to engage in them personally. They tend to approach such behaviours with intellectual curiosity rather than as personal aspirations. What looks like permissiveness from the outside is often, for Gen Z, part of a broader ethic of tolerance and boundary-respecting restraint.

In short: Gen Z talks about sex, drugs, and licentiousness more freely—but does less of it. Their caution reflects not repression but a cultural logic rooted in risk-awareness, consent, and control.

How Gen Z Views Other Generations

Their lived experience of crisis, inequality, digital saturation, and social activism informs Generation Z’s perspective on older generations. Their views are often shaped by contrasts—what they perceive as generational blind spots, failures, or hypocrisies, and areas of admiration or affinity.

Millennials (born ~1981–1996) Gen Z often sees millennials as well-intentioned but flawed older siblings. They appreciate millennials’ progressive values and cultural tastes, but also view them as performative, sentimental, and naive. Gen Z tends to mock millennial aesthetics (avocados, Harry Potter fandom, pastel branding) and vocabulary (words like “adulting”), and is critical of what they see as a millennial tendency to brand their trauma or monetise their identity.

That said, many Gen Zers relate to millennials’ economic struggles—especially with housing and student debt—and see them as the first generation to start challenging traditional workplace norms. Gen Z tends to want to finish what millennials started, but with more realism, cynicism, and urgency.

Gen X (born ~1965–1980) Gen Z has a complicated relationship with Gen X. On the one hand, they often see Gen X as cynical, emotionally closed-off, and politically checked out—especially in comparison to the activist energy Gen Z brings. On the other hand, Gen Z admires Gen X’s independence, sarcasm, and refusal to conform.

Gen Z may resonate with Gen X’s anti-authoritarian streak, but finds their disengagement frustrating. Where Gen Z wants to overhaul broken systems, they may perceive Gen X as resigned or apathetic. However, Gen Z often highly respects Gen X parents, teachers, and mentors who show up authentically and without condescension.

Boomers (born ~1946–1964) Gen Z is generally the most critical of Baby Boomers, who they often see as having created or benefited from the very systems that have failed them—climate destruction, unaffordable housing, precarious work, and institutional inequality. They perceive many Boomers as out of touch with digital culture, dismissive of identity politics, and overly nostalgic about a past that never existed for most people.

At the same time, Gen Z recognises that Boomers include trailblazers and activists who fought for women’s rights, civil rights, and other social movements. They tend to respect Boomers who continue to evolve and who listen to younger voices, but they are quick to call out those who they experience as defensive, patronising, or dismissive of change.

Gen Z at Work

Gen Z is entering the workforce in a world shaped by precarity, digitization, and cultural transformation. Their educational preparation reflects these forces: they are highly educated, with many pursuing post-secondary degrees, certifications, or hybrid learning programs. However, they are also more likely to question the return on investment of traditional education, especially as student debt rises and stable employment remains elusive.

They value flexibility, work-life balance, autonomy, and mental health. Many express a preference for remote or hybrid work, gig work, or side hustles that allow for more control over their time. The idea of “loyalty to a company” has far less resonance than it did for earlier cohorts.

Research suggests Gen Z may be more pragmatic than idealistic when it comes to employment. They are cautious, financially risk-averse, and less likely to take on long-term debt for uncertain gains. They are less likely than millennials to define themselves by their jobs, and more likely to see work as a means to support life priorities like mental health, creative expression, or activism.

Research by Meghan Grace and Corey Seemiller further highlights that Gen Z is motivated by outcomes. They want their work to make a difference and are drawn to mission-based organizations and roles that provide a sense of purpose. They are also more collaborative than competitive, preferring inclusive environments where contributions are recognized and respected. They expect continuous feedback and coaching, and tend to value learning opportunities over status or hierarchy.

What Gen Z Expects from Employers

Gen Z is not easily swayed by flashy perks or traditional notions of career loyalty. They are discerning, values-driven, and pragmatic, and they expect workplaces to reflect the world they want to live in.

What Gen Z wants:

  • Authenticity and transparency: Gen Z places a high premium on honesty. They expect employers to be upfront about challenges and values, and to show consistency between stated commitments and actual behaviour.
  • Work-life balance and mental health support: This generation views mental wellness as a necessity, not a bonus. They seek employers who prioritize reasonable workloads, flexible hours, and access to mental health resources.
  • Flexibility and autonomy: Remote and hybrid work are not perks—they are expected norms. Gen Z wants to be trusted to manage their time and outcomes without micromanagement.
  • Purpose and impact: Many in this generation want to work for organizations that have a positive impact on society. They gravitate toward employers who take real action on issues like climate change, equity, and social justice.
  • Equity, diversity, and inclusion: Gen Z expects to see diverse leadership and inclusive practices in hiring, compensation, promotion, and culture—not just DEI statements.
  • Continuous learning and feedback: They value regular feedback, opportunities for skill development, and clear paths for growth over rigid hierarchies or long-term tenure.

What Gen Z rejects:

  • Micromanagement and rigid structures: Gen Z sees outdated management practices as signs of distrust and irrelevance. They respond best to managers who are coaches rather than gatekeepers.
  • Performative branding: They are quick to identify—and call out—organizations that engage in empty symbolism without backing it up with policy or practice.
  • Unpaid labour: Internships or “exposure” opportunities without compensation are broadly seen as exploitative, especially given Gen Z’s financial constraints.
  • One-size-fits-all expectations: Gen Z expects workplaces to accommodate mental health needs, neurodiversity, caregiving responsibilities, and non-traditional life paths.
  • Silence on social issues: They want employers to take public, substantive stands on the issues that matter to them, and will disengage when companies remain neutral or evasive.

Gen Z Expectations for Workplace Communication

Gen Z’s expectations around communication—especially in the workplace—are shaped by their fluency in digital platforms, their preference for authenticity, and their heightened sensitivity to power dynamics and exclusion. When it comes to everyday communication and more serious or difficult topics like workplace sexual harassment, they bring both high standards and a strong desire for transparency, inclusion, and accountability.

General workplace communication preferences

  • Clarity and conciseness: Gen Z has grown up navigating fast, dense, and highly visual communication environments. They expect written and spoken workplace communication to be clear, direct, and jargon-free.
  • Feedback-rich environments: They value regular feedback over annual reviews and prefer ongoing dialogue to static reporting structures. They want to know where they stand and how they can grow.
  • Authenticity and tone: Gen Z responds poorly to overly polished or corporate-sounding language. They prefer a tone that is human, honest, and accountable—even when conveying bad news.
  • Digital fluency: They are comfortable using asynchronous tools (Slack, Teams, Notion) and expect digital communications to be organized, accessible, and free of unnecessary formalities.
  • Two-way communication: Gen Z expects communication to be participatory. They want to be consulted, heard, and engaged in decision-making where possible.

Communicating about difficult issues like sexual harassment

When it comes to sensitive topics like sexual harassment, Gen Z expects a different approach than previous generations:

  • Transparency over secrecy: They are skeptical of behind-closed-doors handling of complaints and want visibility into how issues are addressed. While confidentiality is important, they also want to know that complaints lead to consequences and change.
  • Affirmative and values-based language: Vague references to “inappropriate conduct” or “boundary concerns” are seen as evasive. Gen Z prefers that organizations speak clearly and firmly about what happened and why it matters.
  • Culture over compliance: They are less interested in whether an organization follows legal protocols and more interested in whether it lives its stated values. They want communication to reflect genuine care for safety and justice—not just box-checking.
  • Proactive rather than reactive: Waiting until a crisis happens to communicate about harassment is seen as a failure. Gen Z expects ongoing messaging about expectations, values, processes, and supports.
  • Survivor-centred messaging: Communications should prioritize the dignity and experience of the person harmed, not just the organization’s liability or image.

Preferred communication formats

  • Multimodal: Written memos or HR policies are necessary, but they’re not sufficient. Gen Z expects information to be repeated across channels—email, video, team meetings, and even social platforms.
  • Conversational spaces: They value opportunities to ask questions, reflect, and share feedback—whether through live Q&As, anonymous surveys, or facilitated team discussions.
  • Clarity around follow-up: When an issue arises, they want clear, timely updates about what is happening next—and they want leaders to own the outcomes.

For Gen Z, communication is not just about the words used—it’s about tone, timing, follow-through, and trust. When employers get it right, they earn loyalty and engagement. When they get it wrong, Gen Z is quick to disengage, speak out, or push for change.

Gen Z and Gender at Work

Gen Z’s approach to gender differs sharply from that of previous generations—not just in vocabulary, but in worldview. They are the most openly gender-diverse generation to date, with a significant and growing number identifying as non-binary, genderfluid, agender, or trans. 

Where older generations—whether cis or trans—tended to frame gender as something deeply intrinsic and fixed (“I’ve always known I was a woman/man”), Gen Z tends to see gender as fluid, contextual, and sometimes ephemeral. For many Gen Zers, gender isn’t a permanent identity to be uncovered and consistently expressed—it’s more like a palette, a mood, a shifting toolset, or even a kind of personal style.

This perspective often puts them at odds with older generations, including their own families, teachers, coworkers, and employers. To Gen Z, strict conformity to masculinity or femininity often looks like a kind of sadness—a reflection of earlier generations’ limited options or internalized norms. This may include people they respect such as older trans people who have experienced deep dysphoria, or older queer people whose identities are tightly wrapped around traditional presentations (e.g. butch lesbians, flamboyant gay men). Gen Z may admire the resilience of those people, but also quietly mourn the rigidity they had to internalize.

Gender expression for Gen Z is playful, sometimes chaotic, often political. Someone might wear a mustache and glitter lipstick, or combine a prairie dress with combat boots—not because they’re accidentally mixing things up, but because they’re deliberately sending ambiguous signals. Gen Z doesn’t necessarily want to be clearly “read”—they may instead want to disrupt the desire to read people at all.

This attitude is particularly visible in fashion. While millennials embraced highly gendered visual codes (e.g. the hyperfeminine “Kardashian” look or the clean-cut “metrosexual” aesthetic), Gen Z has veered in the opposite direction: shapeless silhouettes, overgrown hair, baggy clothes, flat shoes, bare faces. 

In the workplace, this creates frequent friction. Gen Z is increasingly unwilling to participate in gendered expectations around “looking professional”—especially when those expectations mean performing femininity or masculinity to someone else’s standard. Wearing makeup, heels, a tailored blouse, or a necktie may feel to Gen Z like putting on a corporate costume. They don’t read these expectations as “high standards” or “polished” or “professional”: they read them as old-fashioned and (for women, at least) somewhat inappropriately sexual, like being expected to wear a crinoline or corset at work.

Gen Z is also skeptical of masculine-coded leadership models—those that emphasize dominance, competitiveness, or control. These models often read as toxic to Gen Z, not because they reject authority per se, but because they distrust hierarchies that suppress ambiguity, collaboration, and care. They are similarly unimpressed with corporate feminism that celebrates women “breaking the glass ceiling” without addressing systemic inequity. The “girlboss” archetype in particular rings hollow because to Gen Z, it replicates toxic masculine-coded leadership in a pink package, without changing anything at a structural level, and because it celebrates hustle culture, which Gen Z doesn’t believe in.

Implications for employers

  • Don’t mistake nonconformity for unprofessionalism. To older people, Gen Z women’s rejection of traditional feminine performance—such as manicured nails, tailored clothing, careful makeup and accessories, high heels—may look like sloppiness. But interpreting it that way is a mistake. Employers need to differentiate between what they may see as markers of unprofessionalism (e.g., bare faces, oversized clothing), versus actual unprofessionalism (e.g., lateness, mistakes).
  • Address peer policing of gender expression. It is common for Gen Z workers to be challenged—often subtly—about their gender presentation, especially by older coworkers or supervisors who may frame it as feedback about “professionalism” (“Clients don’t want to see a man with earrings.”) or offer advice in a parental or older sibling tone (“You’d look so great with a little mascara”). Gen Z experiences these kinds of comments as microaggressions and employers should actively discourage them.
  • Avoid gendered appearance expectations unless they are absolutely necessary. If an employer requires staff to be “polished” for specific public-facing roles, that standard should be articulated in non-gendered, specific terms: “clothes should be clean and unwrinkled,” not “women should wear makeup” or “men should be clean-shaven.” In most roles, a polished appearance is not essential.
  • Clarify conversational boundaries with nuance. Gen Z talks about gender with fluency and openness. It is not uncommon for them to discuss their identities, pronouns, body changes, or experiences with dysphoria or euphoria in casual conversation. This does not mean it’s acceptable to ask them personal questions in return. Employers should:
    • Normalize self-disclosure without inviting invasive follow-up.
    • Train staff to differentiate between invitation and intrusion.
    • Set clear norms about consent in workplace conversations.
  • Support rather than scrutinize. If a Gen Z employee is navigating gender identity or gender expression at work, the role of leadership is to offer flexibility, safety, and affirmation—not to question, interpret, or police their experience.

In short, employers must shift away from enforcing gendered norms as proxies for professionalism. Gen Z is not asking to be exempt from standards—they are asking for standards that respect autonomy, authenticity, and equity.

Gen Z and Workplace Sexual Harassment

Generation Z’s views on workplace sexual harassment (WSH) are shaped by their broader attitudes toward gender, and also power, authority, and institutional trust. Unlike older generations who may have placed some hope in formal reporting systems, Gen Z is deeply skeptical of employers, HR departments, legal frameworks, and other institutional actors. They do not expect systems to protect them. Instead, they expect systems to protect themselves.

How Gen Z defines workplace sexual harassment

Gen Z tends to take a broad and expansive view of WSH. It includes desire-based behaviours (e.g., inappropriate comments, unwanted touching, coercive flirtation) as well as hostility-based behaviours (e.g., sexist jokes, gendered mockery, exclusion, and retaliation). Gen Z is especially alert to power dynamics, digital harassment (e.g., group chats, DMs), and forms of boundary-crossing that may be normalized in certain workplaces.

Their concept of WSH also incorporates intersectional harm—recognizing that sexual harassment is often shaped by race, disability, queerness, class, and age. They are more likely to call out subtler forms of harassment, including “jokes,” pattern-based discomfort, and supervisory power plays that fall outside strict legal definitions but still create fear, pressure, or exclusion.

Consent, power, and psychological safety

Gen Z understands consent not as a one-time yes/no binary, but as an ongoing, context-sensitive negotiation that must be freely given, especially in hierarchical settings. They tend to believe that consent is invalid when the power imbalance is too great or when economic precarity pressures someone to comply. This worldview leads them to question behaviours that older generations may have rationalized or tolerated.

They also place a high value on emotional and psychological safety, and often see disrespect, dismissal, or minimization as forms of harm—especially when repeated or unacknowledged. When workplaces fail to create safe environments, Gen Z doesn’t assume the system is broken; they assume it’s working exactly as designed, and not for them.

What Gen Z doesn’t see as harassment

While Gen Z has a broader and more inclusive understanding of what workplace sexual harassment (WSH) is, there are also behaviours that previous generations might have classified as inappropriate or harassing, which Gen Z often does not view that way—at least not automatically.

This reflects a shift in cultural norms: away from blanket restrictions on speech, identity, or self-expression, and toward a consent- and context-based model that centres power dynamics and personal autonomy.

It includes: 

Open talk about sex and identity Older generations were often trained to avoid any workplace discussion of sex, sexuality, or relationships. Gen Z, by contrast, is more likely to casually share personal information about dating, gender identity, or orientation; reference polyamory, queerness, or kink as part of their lives or values; and speak openly about therapy, trauma, or even experiences of sexual harm. To many Gen Z workers, this kind of disclosure—when done consensually—is not inappropriate. It is part of authenticity and psychological safety. Attempts to silence this kind of openness may feel to them like censorship or erasure.

Gender expression and identity In prior generations, flamboyant or nontraditional gender expression might have been seen as disruptive, provocative, or unprofessional. Gen Z is much more likely to view bold fashion choices, unusual hairstyles or makeup, and androgynous or nonbinary presentation, as normal and affirming. They may interpret attempts to restrict these forms of self-expression as discriminatory—not protective.

Flirting or joking among peers Gen Z is not humourless. In fact, their humour is often dark, layered, and full of irony. Flirty banter, suggestive emojis, or jokes about attraction may not be seen as inappropriate—if the relationship is mutual and the dynamic is safe. Older generations might have flagged this kind of behaviour as inherently risky. Gen Z draws sharper distinctions based on power and consent. If two peers with an established rapport make lighthearted sexual comments to one another, Gen Z is less likely to see that as harassment—and more likely to see institutional efforts to regulate it as overreach.

Body-related compliments and affirmations Saying “You look amazing” or “That outfit is so hot” might feel dicey to older coworkers, especially if said in public. But in Gen Z culture, these compliments are often part of peer-based bonding or queer-coded communication, and are meant and experienced as supportive, not aggressive or predatory.

For employers, this means that zero-tolerance, one-size-fits-all policies may backfire. Gen Z workers are not looking to eliminate openness or emotional expression—they’re looking to eliminate coercion, hostility, and abuse of power. Policies that ignore this distinction risk:

  • Silencing meaningful communication,
  • Alienating younger workers,
  • Misidentifying harm—or missing it entirely.

In short: Gen Z isn’t against expression, and it’s not prudish. They’re against power being used to harm, silence, or exclude. Understanding this shift is critical for managing intergenerational expectations around workplace culture.

How Gen Z handles harassment

Because they are so skeptical of internal processes, Gen Z are very unlikely to formally report. Instead, they may:

  • Talk informally with trusted coworkers;
  • Seek peer validation before deciding what to do next;
  • Decide the workplace is toxic, and quit;
  • Expose issues on social media or review sites;
  • Organize coworkers to raise concerns collectively.

They do not expect justice from HR, tribunals, or ombudspeople. They see those systems as employer-protective. What they value more is community validation, peer support, and autonomy. This is a sharp generational divergence from the legalistic, policy-driven approach many employers still use.

What employers need to do

Employers need to stop treating harassment as a liability issue and start treating it as a cultural and structural one. Employers should aim to reduce or eliminate harassment and stop it when it happens, but it’s even more important to foster a culture that values and supports authenticity, equity, justice, diversity, accountability, and individuality. 

Employers should: 

  • Engage Gen Z workers in co-creating policy, training, and workplace norms;
  • Provide multiple, low-risk, informal pathways for disclosure—not just formal channels;
  • Centre the needs and autonomy of the person who experienced harm;
  • Move beyond compliance to create a culture of everyday, distributed accountability.

For Gen Z, the problem isn’t just harassers—it’s the system that enables them. They are less interested in punishment and more interested in whether a workplace is safe, fair, and honest about its limitations.

Gen Z as harassers

While much of the discourse focuses on Gen Z as victims or challengers of workplace harassment, a vocal and visible minority of Gen Z has embraced alt-right, misogynistic, or anti-feminist ideologies, especially online. These workers may bring with them:

  • Aggressive denial of gender-based harm;
  • Open hostility toward feminism or DEI initiatives;
  • Troll-style humour that masks or excuses harm;
  • Dismissal of boundaries or trauma language as “soft” or “fake.”

These behaviours can show up as persistent boundary-pushing, ironic or explicit sexism, and/or targeted exclusion—and may be harder for traditional HR systems to recognize or address, particularly when wrapped in Gen Z’s own fluency with digital communication.

Implications for employers

Employers need to update their understanding of what harassment looks like in this generation. That includes recognizing the dynamics of online harassment, coded language, and ideological backlash from younger workers—not just older ones. They must:

  • Address alt-right culture as a workplace risk, not an issue of private opinion;
  • Train managers to recognize new patterns of boundary testing and hostility;
  • Avoid assuming that “young” equals “progressive” or “safe.”

Looking Ahead: The Future of Gen Z

Gen Z is entering adulthood in an era defined by overlapping crises: economic inequality, climate instability, political polarization, and rapid technological change. These challenges are shaping not just their present circumstances, but their long-term outlook.

They are unlikely to follow the linear life paths of earlier generations. Many will delay or forgo traditional milestones like home ownership, marriage, and childbearing. Their careers are expected to be nonlinear, flexible, and purpose-driven—characterized by frequent transitions, remote and hybrid work, and a blending of paid and unpaid forms of contribution.

They are also poised to exert increasing political and cultural influence. Gen Z is already reshaping conversations around climate, race, gender, and economic justice. As they move into leadership roles, their values—autonomy, equity, sustainability, and mental well-being—are likely to become more deeply embedded in institutions.

At the same time, Gen Z faces significant risks. High levels of anxiety and burnout could limit their capacity to lead and participate. Their skepticism toward institutions may evolve into disengagement. And the structural barriers they face—especially in housing, health care, and education—could further entrench inequality.

Whether Gen Z thrives will depend in part on whether the systems around them adapt. If institutions can become more transparent, inclusive, and responsive, this generation has the potential not only to navigate a difficult world, but to remake it.

Appendix: Gen Z Workplace Glossary

A non-exhaustive list of words and concepts Gen Z may bring into the workplace that may be less familiar—or interpreted differently—by previous generations:

Allyship – The ongoing practice of supporting marginalized groups in ways that are accountable, not self-serving. Gen Z expects visible, active, and consistent allyship in leadership.

Boundaries – Clear limits set around time, energy, or emotional engagement. Gen Z expects boundaries to be respected and openly discussed.

Boundaried – Describes someone who is self-aware and firm about their limits—often framed as a positive and healthy trait.

Call in / Call out – To “call out” is to publicly confront harmful behaviour. To “call in” is to raise the issue privately or more gently with the goal of education and relationship repair.

Co-regulation – A concept from trauma and attachment work, referring to people mutually supporting each other’s emotional stability—e.g., “I just needed a co-regulating check-in before I could go into that meeting.”

Decompress – To recover from stress, overstimulation, or intense interactions. Often used in discussions of remote work, social fatigue, or after conflict.

Disassociate / Dissociation – A mental state of zoning out or disconnecting from surroundings, often in response to overwhelm. Sometimes used humorously or colloquially (e.g., “I totally dissociated during that meeting”).

Emotional labour – The (often invisible) effort of managing one’s emotions or the emotions of others in a professional setting, especially in customer service, interpersonal conflict, or DEI work.

Emotional safety – The sense that one can express thoughts or feelings without fear of judgment or retribution. Gen Z often sees this as a basic workplace need, not a bonus.

Gaslighting – Manipulating someone into doubting their perceptions or memories. Commonly used to describe workplace invalidation or denial of harm.

Holding space – Creating a non-judgmental environment for someone to share difficult feelings or experiences.

Imposter syndrome – Feeling unqualified or fraudulent despite evidence of competence. Gen Z often names this openly and seeks structural support to address it.

Intersectionality – A framework for understanding how overlapping identities (race, gender, disability, etc.) shape lived experience. Gen Z expects intersectional thinking in policy and practice.

Masking – Suppressing one’s natural behaviours (especially for neurodivergent people) to conform to social expectations. Gen Z increasingly critiques masking as exhausting or inauthentic.

Neurodivergent – Describes people whose brains process the world differently (e.g. ADHD, autism). Gen Z uses this term more often and may expect workplace accommodations.

Normalize [X] – Used to advocate for de-stigmatizing behaviours or experiences (e.g., “Normalize setting boundaries,” “Normalize not being okay”).

Optics – How actions or statements appear publicly or to others. Gen Z is especially attuned to discrepancies between image and intent.

Out of spoons / Low on spoons – Refers to being emotionally, mentally, or physically depleted. Drawn from spoon theory, a metaphor for limited energy used in disability and chronic illness communities.

Performative – Actions that appear supportive (e.g. of DEI goals) but lack follow-through. Used to critique empty gestures or branding.

Red flag / Toxic – “Toxic” describes unhealthy workplace environments; a “red flag” is an early warning sign of potential harm or dysfunction.

Safe space / Brave space – A safe space prioritizes psychological safety; a brave space encourages respectful dialogue about difficult topics, particularly identity and power.

Soft launch / Hard launch – Social media terms for gradually or suddenly introducing something (often a relationship or job). In workplace contexts, Gen Z may use them playfully to describe gradual onboarding or role shifts.

Trauma-informed – An approach that takes into account the potential presence and impact of trauma and aims to avoid re-traumatizing.

Vibe check / Energy – Informal terms for assessing the emotional tone of a space or interaction. Gen Z may discuss the “vibe” of a team or meeting as a shorthand for workplace culture.

Appendix: Bibliography

First, let’s define gig work. 

Gig work is short-term, freelance, or contract-based work in which you get paid per task, project, or service, instead of getting a steady wage or a salary. 

Gig work has always existed, but the modern gig economy really took off in the early 2010s with the rise of digital platforms like Mechanical Turk and Taskrabbit. 

Today, popular gig economy platforms include Uber, Lyft, Skip, DoorDash, Instacart, Taskrabbit, Airbnb, Fiverr, Upwork, OnlyFans, Rover, Handy, AskforTask, Care.com, and Sitly. 

The work includes everything from food delivery to software development. A lot of it is everyday tasks for individual customers—things like picking up people’s groceries, walking their dogs, or cleaning or organizing their homes.

The gig economy has grown really quickly.

In 2022, Statistics Canada reported that 2.4 million Canadians had done some form of gig work during the previous 12 months. In 2025, H&R Block reported that nearly one in four Canadians was part of the gig economy. It’s slowly getting less common for people to have conventional employment and more common for them to be in the gig economy instead.

From a legal standpoint, gig economy workers are independent contractors, meaning they work for themselves. That makes them vulnerable because our system for protecting workers has always assigned a lot of responsibility to employers. So if you don’t have an employer—if you are, in effect, your own employer—there is nobody responsible for ensuring your work conditions are safe and secure.

Why gig workers face more gender-based harassment

If you’ve done gig work, you know there are pros and cons. One con is harassment. 

Why is there so much harassment in the gig economy?

  • Most gig workers work alone. There aren’t any co-workers or bosses around to witness harassment or intervene.
  • A lot of the work is inside people’s homes. This makes you vulnerable because you can’t control the environment or know that it’s safe. Maybe there are weapons present, people you don’t know about, dangerous animals. You can’t control it.
  • “Employers” are ordinary people, not professional bosses. Your customer may not be fit to function as a boss: they could be intoxicated, violent, paranoid, have really poor judgment, or be experiencing delusions or mood swings. If they’re terrible, there’s nobody to performance-manage them or fire them or even just protect you from them. 
  • The work can be personal or even intimate. If you’re cleaning someone’s house or doing other personal work for them, you’ve got a lot of exposure to their private life, which can sometimes make things feel too personal or intimate.
  • The work can bleed into your personal life. You may use your own car, phone, or home for your work, which can make it hard to maintain professional boundaries. People could see your kid’s stuff, figure out who you live with, etc.
  • You’re dependent on ratings. You may feel pressured to tolerate bad behaviour so your reviews stay positive.
  • It’s easy for someone to fire you. Your customer can easily stop giving you work—and the platform can do the same.
  • You have no HR. HR isn’t always very helpful for people who are being harassed, but at least it means there’s someone to take complaints. As a gig worker, you don’t have that. 

What gender-based harassment looks like in gig work

Here are some of the most common experiences.

Desire-based harassment

  • Persistent sexual comments and flirting: Customers make inappropriate remarks about your body, clothing, or appearance.
  • Getting too physically close: Customers take advantage of task requirements (a physical task, a confined space) to get too close to you.
  • Physical touching: Customers touch you without your consent, under the guise of friendliness or work-related direction.
  • Pressure for dates or personal contact: Customers text or talk inappropriately or make crass or repeated social invitations.

Threats, intimidation, and unsafe situations

  • Customers refuse to leave or block exits: Customers linger, block exits, refuse to leave, or refuse to let you leave.
  • Threats of violence or retaliation: Customers become threatening, or stalk or follow you
  • Deliberately unsafe situations: Customers ask you to meet in unsafe locations or at unsafe times, drive to remote locations, or work under conditions that increase your physical vulnerability.

Discrimination and Gender-Based Hostility

  • Invasive questions and mockery: Customers ask you invasive personal questions, mock you, make “jokes” or use slurs. 
  • Sexist treatment: Customers make sexist remarks or are overly critical or suspicious of your work, especially if you’re not a man and the work is considered “male,” like home repairs or IT support.
  • Refusal of work on the basis of gender: Customers refuse to hire you because of your gender.

Retaliation Through Ratings and Reviews

  • Bad reviews as punishment: Customers who feel entitled to your attention may leave negative reviews and ratings if you reject or ignore them
  • Deactivation or job loss due to biased reviews: Your platform may penalize or deactivate you on the basis of low ratings, even when those ratings are a result of harassment, discrimination, or retaliation.
  • Retaliation from platforms themselves: Your platform may penalize or deactivate you for reporting harassment

What the law says about gender-based harassment in the gig economy

There are two major forms of legal protection against workplace sexual harassment.

  • Human rights law prohibits discrimination and harassment based on gender, gender expression, and sexual orientation. Like everybody else, gig workers are protected by human rights law.
  • Employment law provides protections to workers, including requiring employers to provide a harassment-free environment. However, most gig workers are considered to be independent contractors, which means they aren’t covered under standard employment protections. This is changing: British Columbia now considers gig workers to be legally employees, and Ontario is slowly putting in place some protections for gig workers. But for gig workers in the rest of the country, employment law doesn’t apply.

The reality is that gig workers face a higher risk of gender-based harassment—and they also have fewer legal protections and have built-in opportunities for retaliation, like customer reviews. There is no traditional employer responsible for providing a safe work environment, and many platforms will never take responsibility for worker safety.

This means if you’re a gig worker, you’re likely pretty much on your own.

How gig workers can protect themselves

Here are some practical ways to protect yourself.

Learn from others and build your knowledge

  • Get familiar with online forums and worker communities. Many gig workers share tips and advice on subreddits and online communities dedicated to specific platforms (for example, Uber, DoorDash, Skip, Taskrabbit).
  • Join gig worker networks. Groups like Gig Workers United in Canada provide support, advocacy, and resources for workers facing unfair treatment.

Use platform tools and systems 

  • Use in-app safety features. Many rideshare and delivery apps have built-in safety features like emergency buttons, location tracking, and rider reporting. Get familiar with these tools and use them if they seem helpful. 
  • Save everything. If a customer or client is worrying you, take screenshots, save messages, and document dates and details in case you need to report.
  • Report issues. If you get harassed, consider reporting it to the platform. Not all platforms take action, but some may.

Start things off on the right foot

  • Do basic documentation of new gigs. Take a photo of the address, front door, or apartment number. If you feel comfortable, photograph your client.
  • Consider wearing a uniform or outfit with uniform-like qualities, such as platform-branded apparel or even just a polo shirt with chinos or cargo pants. Consider “work-like” accessories like a visible ID badge, folder, or lanyard.
  • Pretend you’re wrapping up a work call when arriving. “Yep, and I will see you at 3 p.m.” “We can definitely handle that. I’m arriving at a work site, but I’ll give you a call later on.” 
  • Start with a little professional patter. “Here’s the plan.” Consider carrying a clipboard and ticking off checklist items. Use the client’s name.
  • Mention other clients and gigs. (“On Tuesdays I have three clients.” “Most people have me come twice a week.”)
  • If someone creeps you out, consider shutting things down and leaving.

Control access and information 

  • Keep your doors locked. 
  • Meet in public. 
  • Don’t go inside unless it’s part of the job. 
  • Don’t give you out your personal email address or phone number or address. 
  • Be cautious about personal details. Don’t tell people who you live with, what neighbourhood you’re in, or where you hang out.
  • Keep your phone in your possession. 

Signal oversight and protection

  • Install a visible dashcam or bodycam.
  • Wear an earpiece even if you’re not connected to anyone.
  • Use language that implies you’re part of a team (“We,” “my manager,” “Dispatch”).
  • Talk to your phone as though someone is listening or recording. “Just logging pickup.” “Logging that payment has been made.” “Dropoff is complete; I’m headed back to the car.” 
  • Say things that make it seem like harassing you could be dangerous. “My best friend is a lawyer.” “My dad’s a cop.” “My brother’s obsessed with strength training.”
  • Say things that make it seem like you are networked and protected. “The people at [platform] are so great, they are so responsive and supportive.” “My friends are so protective; they are constantly checking in on me.” “I belong to [professional association] and they have always been super-helpful.”

Manage space and time

  • Control the physical space with task-oriented movement so you don’t get cornered: keep walking while you assess or gather information.
  • Maintain physical barricades: a big bag, a clipboard, even your phone.
  • Be in a hurry even when you’re not. “I’m on a tight route today so I can’t stay long.” “I’ve got three more stops before lunch.” 

Prevent things from escalating

  • Distract the person with a job-specific task. “Could you confirm the drop-off location?” “Can you show me where you keep the supplies?”
  • Name a busy public destination you’re headed to next. “After this I’ve got a guy at the airport.” “I’ve got a client handover at the office park.”
  • Say things that function as reminders that you’re not peers, friends, or partners. “It’s a good thing I’m contractually obligated to laugh at your jokes. Haha.” “OMG that’s my stepfather’s favourite movie, too.” “Haha, we are drifting into therapy mode and that is not what I get paid for.” “Wow, you are definitely gonna incur the unsolicited compliment surcharge. Hahaha.” 
  • Develop rules. “I don’t socialize with people I meet through work.” “I can’t accept gifts from clients.” “My social media is 100% private.” “I have a policy of not talking about my personal life.” “I’m not allowed to give you my personal number.”
  • Consider being transparent and forthcoming about what’s happening. “Working in people’s homes, it’s common for things to get blurry.” “I love all my clients but at the end of the day we’re not really friends. You’re paying me to do a job.”

Close things off neatly

  • Shut down contact after the gig ends—If someone messages you casually or creepily afterward, don’t engage. Report/block if needed.
  • Set up standard language for declining: “Per platform policy, I shut down communication once the job is done.”
  • Avoid repeat bookings if someone is creepy: Most platforms let you block or filter clients. Use it.

Be prepared for when things go badly

  • Know in advance how you’ll get out if a situation feels unsafe. “I have to get [work tool] from my car.” “My sister just told me my nephew’s in the ER. I need to go.”
  • Turn on location tracking for friends or family members, or text them your location when you enter a work site. Don’t hide this from your customer.
  • Have a friend call you a half-hour after you start a new engagement. Be matter-of-fact; don’t hide it from your customer. 
  • Know in advance what you’ll do if things get really bad. Have a code word you can text quickly to a friend. The purpose isn’t so much to get emergency help quickly; it’s so you can tell the customer help is coming, so they will let you go.

If you’re dealing with workplace harassment, know this: It’s not your fault. You deserve respect, you deserve safety, and you deserve a workplace where you can do your job without being distracted or hassled. Knowing your rights and having a plan can help. Good luck. 

What is the personal care industry and why are people in it more likely to be harassed?

The personal care industry provides services for individual people, often in their homes or in a private space like a clinic or salon. It can involve caring directly for a person, or for their property. It includes a wide range of types of work. 

Here are some jobs that typically fall into this sector: 

  • personal support worker (PSW)
  • home health aide 
  • caregiver for the elderly
  • physical or occupational therapist
  • house cleaner
  • nanny or babysitter 
  • massage therapist
  • personal trainer
  • esthetician
  • hairdresser
  • nail technician
  • tutor or music teacher
  • gardener or landscaper
  • personal chef
  • social worker
  • pet groomer or dog walker
  • interior designer or home organizer
  • catering staff
  • sex worker

There’s a lot of harassment in the personal care industry because the work involves close contact with other people and their private possessions, in ways that are often physical or intimate. You are often alone with your clients. And you’re often in their home.


What sexual harassment looks like in the personal care industry

The personal care industry usually involves working alone with clients, often in close physical proximity, sometimes for long periods of time. It’s usually important for you to have a friendly relationship with the client—because the work can be tip-based, because it would be easy for them to switch providers or complain about you, or just because you need them to cooperate so you can do your job. It’s also a situation in which you are at work, but your client is not.

This can lead to an environment in which personal and professional boundaries get blurred, sometimes in ways that are really unpleasant. 

Here’s what that can look like in practice: 

Sexualized comments and conversation

  • Your client may hit on you, inviting you out or sexually propositioning you.
  • They may compliment you a lot, especially your looks or your body.
  • They may sexualize your work-related proximity. “You smell amazing.” “You have such soft hands.”
  • They may deliberately push boundaries by talking a lot about sex or asking you about your sex life. They may test out sexual topics under the guise of humour to see if you’ll tolerate escalation.
  • They may make jokes about paying extra for extra services or being willing to tip a lot.

Physical boundary violations

  • Your client may move a limb, turn their head, or otherwise change position to touch you “accidentally” while you’re working.
  • They may refuse to follow draping or coverage norms, pushing away towels or sheets, leaving clothing open, or otherwise forcing more exposure than is necessary.
  • They may request sex-adjacent services that aren’t on the menu, like intimate grooming.
  • They may use their physical size or positioning to block your exit by standing between you and the door or otherwise making leaving awkward or impossible.
  • They may offer to “help” you with tools or positioning in a way that creates unnecessary physical contact.
  • They may ask you to inspect an intimate body area under the guise of having a health or medical concern.

Manipulation, coercion, and grooming

  • They may remind you how much they tip or how often they book, in a way that implies they want you to tolerate behaviour you don’t like.
  • They may deliberately book services when the workspace is otherwise empty (very early or very late).
  • They may treat you like their confidant or “the only one who understands me” to create a sense of intimacy.
  • They may encourage you to share “confessions” about past bad behaviour—like drug use, cheating, or stealing—as a way to create an atmosphere where breaking the rules feels normal.
  • They may claim illness, injury, or emotional crisis to justify inappropriate physical contact or special exceptions.
  • They may give you gifts that suggest an intimate or sugar daddy type relationship, or deliberately display wealth to show what they could offer you…
  • They may try to give you alcohol or drugs

Intimidation, crowding, and third-party involvement

  • They may arrive intoxicated.
  • They may loom over you or corner or crowd you.
  • They may bring friends, family, or romantic partners to watch or comment, making the space feel sexualized or unsafe.
  • They may demand an additional provider as well as you, often in a sexualized or fetishizing way.
  • They may use the presence of their friends to create an atmosphere where refusing them feels riskier.

Intrusion into private life and emotional overreach

  • They may try to get your personal phone number, social media, or home address.
  • They may approach you in public spaces outside work, behaving as though your relationship is social.
  • If you’re gender-nonnormative, they may try to get you to educate them about gender stuff, which might include asking you overly personal questions.
  • They may invite you to stay after work or treat your work time together like it’s social.
  • They may simply take up too much of your time, wanting to chat rather than letting you work.
  • They may want to talk a lot about personal problems, such as loneliness or relationship difficulties.
  • They may treat you like you’re their romantic partner and expect you to be emotionally invested beyond what’s appropriate.

Retaliation and reputation damage

  • They may get upset or angry when you push back and set boundaries.
  • They may leave bad online reviews, make negative comments in the community, or try to harm your reputation.
  • They may photograph or record you or the service without your agreement and share or threaten to share the images.

Sometimes what happens is clearly sexual harassment. But most of the time it’s more blurry. Often, it exists in a fuzzy space where the person’s intent isn’t clear, and you find yourself wondering if they are just being clueless or awkward. 

Their intent does matter, because if someone is just clueless, it’s less likely that they will cause you serious harm. But the impact on you can still be bad: uncomfortable, unpleasant, or damaging to your career. And some predatory people pretend to be clueless to avoid consequences. 

In this article, we’ll tell you how to protect yourself, regardless of the intent of the person who’s harassing you. 


How to make it less likely you’ll be harassed

Before diving in here, we want to make it clear that it’s not your responsibility to take special steps to make sure you don’t get harassed. If you get harassed, the fault lies 100% with the person harassing you, not with you. 

That said, here are some steps you can take to make harassment less likely. 

  • Wear a uniform. This could be scrubs or a white jacket, anything with a work logo on it, or even anything reminiscent of a work uniform, like a plain polo shirt and khakis. The point is to have a constant subtle reminder that you’re there to do a job.
  • Wear a fake wedding ring. For some people, the only legitimate reason for you to be unavailable is if you’re already in a relationship. The easiest way to signal that is by wearing a wedding ring. It’s stupid, but it can help.
  • Mention other clients. This can serve as a reminder that your relationship is professional, not personal.
  • Redirect personal conversations back to work. If a conversation starts feeling too personal, redirect back to work. There are some scripts for that further down.
  • Keep your communications on work platforms. If you can avoid it, don’t give a client your personal cell number. If they ask for your social media, give them your employer’s account. Make sure they never learn your home address.
  • Never confide in your client. Never talk with a client about problems you’re having, especially relationship problems, money problems, or problems with your employer. Never talk about anything illegal you’ve done. Never talk about your sexual activities. Predators push for personal confessions to create false intimacy, making you feel emotionally enmeshed while gathering information they can later use to manipulate, coerce, or blackmail you.
  • Talk openly about what’s normal and best when it comes to professional boundaries. Fuzzy client/provider boundaries are a very normal problem. Talking openly about “best practices” (like why you don’t give out personal contact information) depersonalizes it and positions you as an expert, which may encourage the client to respect your professional judgment and boundaries. 
  • Make and share personal policies for how to behave. When you need to establish or defend professional boundaries, characterize it to your client as a “personal rule.” There are some scripts for this later, too. This makes the interaction less about them specifically (which means they’ll be less likely to get defensive or angry), and also supports the idea that you are the expert on this. 
  • When your employer has a rule, feel free to share it. If your employer prohibits you from seeing clients outside the work context, or has similar rules, feel free to share them with your client. This can serve as a reminder that your relationship is a professional one, and also that you have an employer backing you up. 
  • If you’re unusually vulnerable, hide that from your client. Try to create the impression that you’re a person with a large, caring family and friend group. If you’re estranged from family or have no family nearby, keep that to yourself. You want to create the impression that it’s not safe to target you, because there are people and resources on your side.
  • Never drink alcohol or do drugs with clients. 

How to get back on track when boundaries are getting blurred

Even if you do absolutely everything right, you can still end up with boundaries uncomfortably blurred. Here’s what you can do if you’re feeling like things are going in a direction that’s too personal.

  • Create some kind of break or interruption. This could be as small as cancelling one or two appointments. The goal here is to interrupt what’s happening, to give the relationship a chance to reset.
  • When you come back from the break, use it as a blank slate to establish a professional tone. Use the tips above. Reduce personal conversations, maintain physical distance, redirect conversations to work where necessary. 

If this doesn’t work, your next step is probably a direct conversation. 

Here’s where the scripts come in. 

Everybody’s personal style is different, and you definitely should not feel like you need to behave like a person you’re not. Find what works for you and ignore everything else.

If your client is expressing loneliness or talking extensively about personal or relationship problems: 

I really enjoy our time together, but I feel like I’m out of my depth when it comes to providing personal support. I think you might be better off to talk with a trained professional or even a close friend.

or 

I’ve got a lot going on in my personal life right now. So I am going to need to scale back the conversations we’ve been having—even though I enjoy them!—so I can put my energy where it needs to be.

or

I need you to stop talking with me about personal things. I’m not trained to have these kinds of conversations. It would be irresponsible for me to stray past the work I am here to do.

If your client is making inappropriate sexual or teasing/flattering comments: 

I know you don’t want to make me uncomfortable, and neither of us would want your partner to be uncomfortable either. So we are gonna need to scale things back. You are super-charming but it’s been getting a little too personal. Haha.

or 

I enjoy working with you, but things have been getting kind of spicy, which honestly feels inappropriate. I have a general workplace rule, which is that I try to keep things focused on the task at hand. I’d appreciate if you could help me live up to that.

or

Wow, I am going to need to ask you to save that kind of conversation for your lady friends. That is just not what I am here to do.

If the client is crossing physical boundaries

I need you to stop touching me, right now. I need to ask you to give me space to do my work. If you can’t do that, I’m going to need to end this session.

or

Wow, you are getting kind of handsy today. That’s not okay! I need you to take one big step backward. Not just today, but in general. This is too much.

or

I am feeling a little crowded right now. I’m afraid I need to ask you to back up.


If the client is asking prying questions or trying to get you to talk about stuff that feels too personal: 

I’m flattered you’re interested in my personal life, but the truth is that stuff doesn’t really matter here. We’re not here to talk about my life, we’re here to focus on you.

or

I have a general rule that I don’t talk about my personal life with my clients. It’s not really what we’re here to do. I think we should keep focused on you and what we’re trying to accomplish here.

or

Wow, no offence, but generally I keep those kinds of personal conversations to my girlfriends, you know? You are more like my father, and he and I have never talked like that. Haha.

If the client is repeatedly asking you out or giving you presents: 

You are very generous and kind, and it’s nice to work with people you genuinely like and care about. But I am worried our relationship has been straying a little too far from the professional. I do like you. But I have a personal rule to not mix my personal life with my work life. In my experience that’s just better and safer for everybody. So I would like to ask you to stop inviting me places and stop offering me presents. I do sincerely appreciate you. But I just want us to walk things back a little bit.

or

Wow, thank you for this. It’s super-nice. But I’m afraid I can’t accept it. It feels a little bit too much like something romantic or intimate. I know you don’t mean it that way but still, I can’t accept something like this.

or

I have really been enjoying getting to know you. But I am 100% not going to date you or get personally involved. I never see clients outside of work. So I am going to need you to stop inviting me to things. It’s not personal. I like you. You’re one of my favourite clients. I am just never, ever gonna see you outside of work.

or 

I’m afraid I need to ask for a bit of a reset on our interactions. In this industry, it is totally normal for service providers to have friendly personal interactions with clients. But it is not normal for people to get too involved. That would be unprofessional and frankly inappropriate. So I am going to need you to stop asking me out. I would never socialize with a client or have any interactions outside of a work context.

If they make jokes about extra payment for sexual or personal services:

I love having you as a client but I need to ask you to stop making jokes about paying for extra services. I know it’s just a joke. I trust you. But in my field, sometimes clients do act like that is a real possibility, which makes it sensitive for people like me. I would really love if you could stop. Everything else about our interactions is great; it’s just that one thing that has been bothering me.

or 

I need you to please stop making that kind of joke. I’m a professional doing a job. I don’t like that kind of joke and I need you to please stop making it.

If they invite you to stay outside of work or treat your work time together like it’s social:

I appreciate it when you offer me coffee or a snack, but I really can’t pause my work for social time. I have a lot to do, and I need to make sure everything gets finished. I can’t do that if I’m pausing to chat.

or 

A couple of times you’ve invited me to stay after work to hang out. I appreciate it but I want to be up-front that that’s just not something I’m ever going to do. I keep work things separate from personal things. I hope you understand where I’m coming from.

or 

I’ve been enjoying our conversations, but I’ve also been feeling a little uneasy about the amount of time we’ve been spending talking. I want to make sure you are getting good value for your money. I think it makes sense for us to pull back a bit and focus more narrowly on the actual work. I hope that makes sense to you.

If they express inappropriately personal opinions or judgment about you: 

I feel like sometimes you say things about me that might be appropriate if you were my parent or grandparent, but don’t make as much sense for a professional relationship. I am younger so I can see why it happens. But it makes me feel uncomfortable. I’m a professional here to do a job. I think it would be great if we could both make an effort to keep that in mind. I hope that makes sense to you.

or 

Sometimes you say negative things about my [hair, gender presentation, clothes], and to be honest it hurts my feelings. It’s also not really any of your business. If my own dad said things like that to me, then he and I would have a real conversation about it. But you and I don’t have that kind of relationship. So I would like to ask you to stop expressing that kind of judgment to me, and if you don’t, I may need to bring it up to my supervisor and have her speak with you. I hope you understand.

or 

I’m afraid I need to ask you to please stop commenting on my appearance. It’s inappropriate and it’s gone too far, and I really need you to stop. Even though we are in your house, this is my workplace and we need to maintain a basic level of professionalism.

If they treat you like you’re their partner:

Wow, sometimes I really get this vibe from you like I am your wife, you know what I mean? Haha. I am happy to do whatever’s helpful but I feel like I should be clear: It’s not really my job to help you think through a work problem or pick new furniture, you know? That’s not the service you’re paying me for. Haha.

or 

The other day, one of my clients told me he thinks of me like I’m his wife. That made me really uncomfortable and I decided that I needed to speak with all my clients. So to be clear: I am very happy to support you in a broad range of ways. But this is a professional working relationship, not a personal one, and I think it’s best if everybody is super-clear about that. I know you are, and so we don’t need to spend a lot of time talking about this—this is just something that I felt I needed to say.

or

Sometimes I get a feeling from you that you are treating me like I’m your wife or intimate partner. I am probably totally imagining that! But it made me feel like we should just agree on the basics here. I’m here to do a job, you’re my client, it’s a professional relationship. I know we both know that.

If they deliberately expose themselves or leave out sex toys or porn: 

I need to be crystal clear with you. What happened today cannot happen again. If it does, I will terminate you as my client.

or 

I don’t know if you’re aware of this, but the other day when I was here, you had left extremely personal objects in a place where they were visible to me while I did my work. I know you didn’t do it on purpose. But still, yikes. I don’t want to talk about this. But I do need you to know that if it ever happens again, it will be the last time I work for you. I hope that makes sense to you.


If you’re dealing with workplace harassment, know this: It’s not your fault. You deserve respect, you deserve safety, and you deserve a workplace where you can do your job without being distracted or hassled. Until that’s a given in every workplace, knowing your rights and having a plan can help. Good luck.

For people who are trans, nonbinary, or gender-queer, being treated badly because of your gender can be an everyday reality. You probably know people—maybe including yourself—who’ve had to put up with a lot of bad stuff.

The purpose of this article is to describe what harassment usually looks like for you, how it shows up in the workplace, and what you can do to protect yourself.


Why people who are trans, nonbinary, or gender-queer face more harassment at work

People who are trans, nonbinary, or gender-queer don’t have universally bad experiences at work. Many have supportive colleagues, or at least neutral ones who aren’t making things difficult on purpose. Some bosses genuinely want to get things right, and some workplaces are truly affirming.

That said, the numbers confirm what most of us instinctively know: People who are trans, nonbinary, or gender-queer face more workplace harassment than any other group.

That’s because some people believe that trans, nonbinary, and gender-queer people either don’t exist or shouldn’t exist, and many feel entitled to act on those beliefs.

There’s also a timing issue that makes things worse. In Canada, the average age for a gender transition is getting younger, but it’s currently about 31. That means that most people who transition today are doing it on the job—and transition is a time when, for a lot of people, harassment tends to spike.

People who are trans, nonbinary, or gender-queer may also face barriers that make it harder to walk away from bad workplaces. They may be estranged from their families or have a hard time keeping their housing. On average they make less money than other people, and they are more likely to work in industries with bad job security, high turnover, or minimal or absent HR.


What sexual harassment looks like at work for people who are trans, nonbinary, or gender-queer

Tip

If you’re trans, nonbinary, or gender-queer and something happened at work that made you feel uncomfortable, unsafe, or targeted, but it wasn’t “about sex,” you might wonder if it still legally counts as sexual harassment. Here’s what’s important to know: If you’re being harassed at work in Canada because of your gender identity, gender expression, sex assigned at birth, or sexual orientation, that legally qualifies as sexual harassment. This is true for every province and territory.

People who are trans, nonbinary, or gender-queer can experience two types of sexual harassment: desire-based and hostility-based.

Hostility-based harassment is when someone makes it their mission to let you know you don’t belong. That could mean misgendering you on purpose, “forgetting” your pronouns, subjecting you to jokes or pranks, asking you invasive questions and demanding you justify yourself, trying to force you to change your behaviour to fit what they think is correct for you, or icing you out socially. The purpose is to make you feel bad, make you behave differently, or push you out of that workplace entirely.

That’s different from desire-based harassment.

Desire-based harassment is when someone treats you as an object of curiosity, fetishizes you, or assumes that you are hypersexual and available to them sexually. It’s people assuming they can behave intimately with you even though you’re just co-workers, or people who just won’t stop asking you highly personal questions.

You are more likely than other people to be harassed by a group instead of just one person. Or one person may harass you in front of a group. You are more likely to be harassed by co-workers or customers, rather than by your boss. Your boss may tolerate the harassment, or participate in it, or they may not know about it, or know about it and think it doesn’t matter.

Here’s what it can look like in practice:

Identity invalidation and policing

  • People may deliberately deadname or misgender you.
  • They may tell you how they think you should dress or behave.
  • They may say your gender is too confusing to understand.
  • Your company may use dress codes as a way to force gender conformity under the guise of professionalism.
  • People may criticize you for “bringing politics into work” just by existing.

Sexualization, intrusion, and boundary violations

  • People may assume you’re hypersexual and eager to talk about sex. They may pepper you with sex jokes and innuendo and assume you’ll be fine with it, send you porn, and/or seek you out to talk about sex.
  • They may treat you like you’re sexually available to them or are a sex worker (especially if you’re a trans woman).
  • They may fixate on you and stalk you online.
  • They may act as though your presence is inappropriately sexualizing the workplace.
  • They may ask you invasive and detailed questions about your sex life, your body, or medical care.
  • Your company may (accidentally or on purpose) leak your sensitive medical or health information to your co-workers.

Professional undermining and biased evaluation

  • People may assume you’re incompetent and require you to prove your skills again and again.
  • They may criticize your work even when your performance is better than other people’s.
  • They may assume you’re less committed to your work than other people.
  • Supervisors may give you weird feedback that’s clearly rooted in bias. “Clients just aren’t feeling confident with you.” “You’re missing the gravitas we need for this role.” “You always want the spotlight, and I just need you to do your job.”
  • Your bosses may accept co-worker discomfort with you as though it reflects an actual professional deficiency. “People don’t think you’re ready.” “The team just doesn’t trust you.” “I’ve gotten a lot of complaints about you.”
  • Your bosses may use other people’s discomfort as a justification to reprimand, demote, move, or reassign you.

Social exclusion, gossip, and hostility

  • People may joke, gossip, or lie about you.
  • They may ice you out socially.
  • They may openly express frustration at having to work with you.
  • They may post cartoons or jokes about you.
  • They may try to stop you from using the right bathroom or other gendered spaces. They may put up signage telling you which gendered spaces to use.
  • They may subtly or overtly question your mental stability, framing you as “volatile” or “unreliable” or “needing help.”
  • If you withdraw because of repeated harassment, you may start to get labelled as unhappy, unpleasant, or difficult. If you challenge harassment, you may be labelled as angry, too emotional, or a drama magnet.

Denial of resources and opportunities

  • People may withhold important work information from you.
  • They may not give you as many work opportunities as other people get.
  • You may get excluded from informal training or learning opportunities.
  • You may get less mentorship and sponsorship than other people.
  • Your company may cut you off from external-facing work.
  • You may be excluded from professional associations, industry events, or networking spaces.
  • Your company may cut you off from work-related travel, especially if gender makes travel complicated for you.

Suspicion, surveillance, and overenforcement

  • People may conflate gender nonnormativity with deviance or criminality, making them suspicious of you. They may behave as though you’re dirty or dangerous or untrustworthy.
  • They may punish you for minor workplace infractions that other people get away with.
  • People may require you to prove things that other people aren’t required to prove.
  • They may imply that your presence opens the floodgates to legal problems or controversy, casting you as a threat or potential adversary.
  • They may undermine your reputation by characterizing you as unreliable, difficult to work with, or requiring a lot of supervision.

Direct threats, stalking, and safety risks

  • People may refuse to work with you or try to get you fired.
  • They may wait outside of work for you or stalk you.
  • They may threaten or menace you or physically hurt you.

Administrative and structural disadvantages

  • Your employer may require you to spend an enormous amount of time on gender-related paperwork and meetings.
  • Your employer may insist you take on the burden of educating your co-workers about gender stuff. They may also use up your work time with DEI initiatives.
  • Your company may waffle in its commitment to DEI, leaving you unsure about where you stand and whether they have your back.

The law versus reality

In Canada, people who are trans, nonbinary, or gender-queer are protected at work by human rights laws and by employment law. Those laws say workplaces have to be free of harassment and discrimination, and that employers are supposed to have clear policies and take complaints seriously.

But in practice, harassment and discrimination are common, and employers often don’t do much about it.

When a person who is trans, nonbinary, or gender-queer gets harassed at work, it’s really common for bosses to chalk it up to a personality conflict or people “bringing politics into work.” They may feel like it’s none of their business, and/or a headache they just don’t want to deal with.

Here are some ways bosses sometimes react:

  • They see the harassment and ignore it.
  • They think it doesn’t matter.
  • They see it as a personal problem you’re having, rather than as a legal and human rights issue.
  • The whole subject makes them uncomfortable.
  • They make excuses for the people doing the harassment.
  • They sympathize with you but don’t do anything to help.
  • They try to help, but they’re ineffective.
  • They overreact in a clumsy way, making things worse.
  • They send the whole thing to HR instead of even trying to handle it.

This doesn’t mean reporting harassment is never worth it. It might be. You are in the best position to know whether your boss and workplace might handle it well.


Transitioning at work: when it goes well versus when it doesn’t

Coming out at work can be an affirming experience or a nightmare. It depends on your workplace, your boss, and your co-workers.

For some people, transitioning on the job goes great.

I posted a message telling everyone all at once, I said I was open to questions within reason, that I understood it might take people a bit of time to adjust and that was ok. 99.9% of people were amazing and that tiny 0.1% was put in their place by everyone else before I even had a chance to.

Kai_2885. Comment on “How to transition in the workplace?” Reddit, r/FTMMen

HR was very supportive and let me know what could be changed without a legal name change and kept me in control about who was told and when and asked if I wanted to be the person who told others or not. It took about a week for IT to change everything and I asked HR to tell my supervisors once that was complete. Since then everything’s been super smooth.

In_pure_shadow. Comment on “How did you all come out at work.” Reddit, r/asktransgender

At one of my first monthly onboarding meetings with my manager, I opened up to him about being nonbinary and using they/them pronouns at home and among friends, and I asked if he thought it would be appropriate or ok to ask folks to use my pronouns at work. He was on board with it, and happy to support me!

Bikedaybaby. Comment on “I’m an engineer, they/them pronouns, been out at work for almost a year and a half. AMA!.” Reddit, r/NonBinary.

When a workplace has good policies and people who care about getting things right, transitioning can be a largely positive experience.

But others are met with resistance.

On bad days I’ve had people tell me to my face that I’m not a ‘he’, curl their lip at my pronoun pin, avoid looking at me or talking to me when I walk into a room, and even once (so far) had a coworker ask me if I still had ‘girl parts.’ Basically, it’s difficult.

Nyctala-acadica. Comment on “What is your experience like being trans in the workplace?” Reddit, r/asktransgender.  

“I got too exhausted by it and stopped correcting people which led to a lot of folks at my company thinking I was cishet. That didn’t feel great, but I didn’t have the energy or confidence to do otherwise.”

No_Main_227. Comment on “Out at your job.” Reddit, r/NonBinary.

I lost a 30+ year career. I thought, ‘Well, I have a degree, I have plenty of experience, so there shouldn’t be an issue finding another job.’ Well, needless to say, that wasn’t the case. I went from a six-figure executive position to an hourly retail job and landscaping.

HauntingComedian1152. Comment on “Have any of you had a hard time finding or maintaining a job since coming out as Trans?” Reddit, r/MtF.

For some people, the whole idea of transitioning at work is a nonstarter. Unfortunately, lots of people who are trans, nonbinary, or gender-queer find they need to hide parts of their identity at work, to avoid harassment.

If they know I’m trans they’ll be more willing to fire me over small things/more willing to drop me like a fly. It’s sad but it’s true.

HomocidalTaco. Comment on “Does anyone have tips for staying stealth at work.” Reddit, r/ftm. 

I came out at work at my last job and got harassed and threatened until I resigned.

Misha099. Comment on “Out at Work?” Reddit, r/NonBinary.

I’d rather have a job where I have to stay closeted than have no job at all.

Mountain_Analysis_85. Comment on “should i just stay closeted at work.” Reddit, r/transgenderUK.

I genuinely like my job. The thought of losing it terrifies me, especially the accompanying fear of having to job hunt as a transwoman. 😕

ScreamQueenStacy. Comment on “Have any of you had a hard time finding or maintaining a job since coming out as Trans?” Reddit,  r/MtF.

If you’re transitioning at work, here are some things that can help:

  • Talk to HR or a manager you trust—if you feel safe doing so.
  • Find allies—having even one supportive co-worker can make a difference.
  • Document interactions—if things go badly, having a record of events may help.
  • Consider your exit plan—if your workplace is hostile, looking for a new job, or even a whole new career, might be the best move.

How to protect yourself at work

The first thing you can do is try to find a job where you won’t get treated badly.

Here are some strategies people try:

  • Look for jobs at workplaces that do queer-focused work, where most people will be queer.
  • Stay away from majority-male industries, especially if you’re a trans woman.
  • Seek a job where the boss or owners are queer or queer-friendly.
  • Pick a (relatively) queer-friendly industry like media and entertainment, fashion, higher education, nonprofits, and progressive tech companies.
  • Take a job where there is already one or more out trans or nonbinary people.
  • Ask friends for referrals to employers they know are queer-friendly.

Other things you can do:

  • Keep a written record. If you experience harassment, write down the date, what happened, and who was there. Screenshots and emails can also be useful.
  • Set firm boundaries. If someone asks inappropriate questions, it’s okay to shut them down: “That’s personal, and I don’t discuss that at work.”
  • Know your workplace policies. If there’s an anti-harassment policy, knowing the process for reporting can be useful—even if you don’t necessarily plan to report.
  • Connect with outside support. Groups like Pride at Work Canada can help you understand your rights and connect with other trans and nonbinary workers.
  • Find ways to take care of yourself. Workplace harassment takes a toll. Whether it’s therapy, talking to a trusted friend, or just stepping outside for fresh air, prioritizing your well-being is just as important as dealing with the problem.

Workplaces are changing, but not fast enough. And progress isn’t always linear: sometimes we go backward.

If you’re dealing with workplace harassment, know this: It’s not your fault. You deserve respect, you deserve safety, and you deserve a workplace where you can just do your job without dealing with other people’s baggage. Until that’s a given in every workplace, knowing your rights and having a plan can help. Good luck.


Here are the 21 most important things we learned.

1. Workplace sexual harassment is extremely common.

It’s hard to know exactly how many people get harassed at work, because sexual harassment is so stigmatized that people don’t talk about it much. And sometimes people don’t describe what happened as sexual harassment, even when it meets the legal definition of the term.

That said, most surveys and studies find that somewhere between one-quarter and one-third of people say they’ve been sexually harassed at work. We estimate that about 70% of women and 15% of men have experienced workplace sexual harassment at some point in their lives. When it comes to people who are visibly queer, it’s probably closer to 100%.

2. People who are harassed often minimize what’s happening or decide it doesn’t “count.” 

People often go through a period in which they’re not sure if what they’re experiencing counts as “real” sexual harassment. 

We think this is because media portrayals of harassment tend to show only one kind of very blatant harassment: a male boss groping or propositioning his female subordinate. We think that’s why people don’t necessarily immediately recognize sexual harassment when they see it, because it doesn’t look like what they’re used to seeing in the media.

In real life, hostility-based harassment is more common than desire-based harassment. Verbal harassment is more common than physical touching. Harassment by co-workers and customers is more common than harassment by bosses. 

3. Most people who’ve been sexually harassed don’t identify that way.

We asked people who’d been harassed whether they felt like the word “survivor” applied to them and more than 60% said no. 

We think that’s because those people either didn’t experience harassment as life-changing or didn’t want to make it a central part of their identity even if it was life-changing.

4. Who do we tell we’ve been harassed? Practically nobody.

In our surveys, 90% of people who’d been harassed told two people or fewer, and half told literally nobody. Nobody told more than 10 people. The person people were most likely to tell was a close friend, followed by a partner, followed by a co-worker.

5. When people tell other people they’ve been harassed, the reaction they get often hurts them instead of helping them.

When a person tells someone they’ve been harassed, it’s very common for them to be told they’re exaggerating or misunderstanding, or even making it up. 

If they tell someone at work, it’s common to be labelled a troublemaker and punished for complaining. If they tell someone in their personal life, they might be pressured to report, or to quit their job.

6. When people are harassed, they feel ashamed and blame themselves.

Practically everybody who gets harassed goes through a period in which they feel confused and guilty and ashamed and aren’t sure if what happened was actually sexual harassment. This can last for months or even years, and it happens even to people who say they “know better.”

This is bad because it’s no fun, and also because if the person had fully understood what was happening at the time, they might have handled things in a different way.

7. People who’ve been harassed want to have their experiences validated and affirmed.

When people are being harassed, they want other people to confirm that, yes, it’s harassment, and yes, it’s unfair and not their fault. 

Some want to know if what happened constitutes harassment under the law, but most just want to know whether other people agree that what happened was not okay.

8. When they’re being harassed, most people aren’t confident they will be able to handle the harassment successfully.

When they’re being harassed, people go through a period in which they feel confused and unsure, and things seem “murky” or “baffling” or “overwhelming.”

They are not sure how to handle the harassment and are worried they will handle it in a way that makes things worse. Only 27% of our survey respondents said that when they were harassed, they felt confident they would handle it okay.

9. People tend to go online looking for information and advice. 

Most of our survey respondents, when they were harassed, went online looking for information or advice. 

In fact, it was the most common thing that people did. More people went online than confronted the harasser, told their boss, talked with friends or somebody at work, called a hotline, attended a support group, or spoke with a lawyer. 

10. When people went online, they said they were looking for affirmation and validation, information and advice, and other people’s stories. 

People wanted to know if what was happening to them was actually harassment, versus whether they were blowing things out of proportion. They wanted to know what they could do to make it stop. They wanted to know how being harassed had affected other people, how they handled it, and if they had any regrets. They wanted help processing their feelings and “getting over it.”

11. People are very interested to learn how other people handled being sexually harassed.

People really want to hear how other people handled being harassed (especially people in similar circumstances) and how it worked out for them. 

We think people want this because it helps them feel less alone and isolated, and also so they can learn from other people’s experiences.

12. Most people don’t report.

Most people who are being harassed don’t tell their employer.

It’s impossible to know exactly what proportion of harassed people do report what’s happening, but our surveys suggest it’s about one person in five. The most common reason people give for not reporting is that the harassment wasn’t serious enough. The second-most-common reason is that they think reporting is pointless: their report will be ignored and/or they will be punished for complaining.

13. People are worried that if they report, their workplace will punish them.

People believe that if they report harassment to their employer, their employer will punish them for complaining. 

And the research says they’re correct. The academic research (and our own research) says it’s very common for people who report sexual harassment at work to end up being punished. 

Some people get fired or demoted or lose shifts, but what’s even more common is for the person to just become “unpopular” at work, including with their boss. They get labelled a troublemaker, and as a result their opportunities for advancement start to shut down, they get frozen out socially, and their work becomes less pleasant overall.  

14. People feel pressured to not report. 

It’s very common for people to feel pressured by bosses or co-workers to not report sexual harassment. 

People told us stories about being asked to sympathize with the harasser (“He has a wife and kids,” “He can’t afford to lose his job”). They told us they felt like they were being told that reporting would waste everybody’s time and would end up ruining the harasser’s life.

This pressure worked. Many people who had been considering reporting told us they changed their minds and didn’t do it.

15. People felt pressured to report. 

We were surprised when people also told us they felt pressure to report. People said they felt a lot of pressure to “stand up” and “be brave” and “protect other people” by reporting. They said this pressure came from “women,” “feminism,” “society,” and “everybody.” 

People said this didn’t change their actual behaviour: If they weren’t planning on reporting, it didn’t make them do it. It just made them feel bad. 

16. People who don’t report feel judged.

When they get harassed, most people’s goal is to handle it in a way that limits the damage. They are trying to not get fired or raped or have their career ruined.

When people tell them to report and they don’t do it, they end up feeling judged as cowardly or selfish or complicit. They feel like they’re being told they are bad feminists who are letting down women.

17. Most people don’t have anybody they trust to give them good advice.

When they were being harassed, most people didn’t feel like there was anybody they could trust to give them good advice. 

The advice they got from family members and friends—like to yell at the harasser or immediately complain to their boss—felt naive and unrealistic. And they didn’t trust HR, or anyone at work, to be on their side and give them good advice. 

18. Most people chose to stay at work and try to cope without reporting. 

What’s the most common thing people do when they’re being harassed? Nothing. Most people stay at work, don’t confront the harasser, keep their head down, and just try to cope.

  • More than 50% of people consider quitting their job, and 15% do quit. 
  • One in four talks informally with their employer, and one in five formally reports. 
  • 21% confront the harasser directly. 
  • 8% talk with a lawyer. 
  • 7% go public. 
  • One person in 20 takes other action, which might include things like talking with their union, calling the police, or making a complaint to the Ministry of Labour or a human rights commission. 

19. Workplace sexual harassment hurts people’s mental health.

It’s very common for people who’ve been sexually harassed at work to have negative mental health impacts such as depression and anxiety. 

This is because they’ve been betrayed. As a society, we’ve officially agreed that sexual harassment is not okay. But when people reach out for help, they usually get gaslit or ignored. This is a form of betrayal and it’s bad for our mental health because it leaves us feeling vulnerable and alienated. 

20. Workplace sexual harassment hurts people’s careers.

Workplace sexual harassment hurts people’s careers whether they report or not. 

If they don’t report, their careers get hurt because they end up needing to make career decisions based partly on safety considerations (like, they may need to quit a particular job, or avoid a particular co-worker, or restrict work-related socializing). Plus, sometimes the harassment hurts their mental health in ways that affect their work.

If they do report, it’s very common for them to be gossiped about, be labelled as troublemakers, and frozen out socially, and also common to be punished in various ways—for example, by getting fewer and worse opportunities.

21. Workplace sexual harassment hurts people financially.

Sometimes the financial impact is immediate and severe: like, a person will get unexpectedly fired. 

In other cases, it’s more subtle but still very real. For example, one study of people who quit their job due to harassment found that in their next job, literally all of them were making less money. Because they were seeking a job urgently, they didn’t have time to find something really good.

Researchers say the overall impact of workplace sexual harassment on people’s finances is roughly the same as if they had been seriously ill or injured, or had served time in prison. For people pushed out of well-paid, male-dominated industries, the lifetime costs of sexual harassment are estimated to be about $1.3 million on average.

If you’re reading this, chances are that someone in your life recently told you they had experienced sexual harassment at work. It can be upsetting to learn about this and difficult to know what to say or how to react. Here are some suggestions for how to respond in a helping way.

If you find yourself doing this:

Avoiding them or changing the subject.

Try saying this instead:

I’m not sure what to say, but I’m here to listen.

If you find yourself saying this:

Sure, that sounds bad, but what were you doing to lead them on?

Try this instead:

You didn’t do anything to deserve this.

If you find yourself saying this:

I don’t know how to help you.

Try this instead:

It takes a lot of courage to talk about this. Thank you for trusting me.

If you find yourself saying this:

If I were you, I would have defended myself more.

Try this instead:

It’s hard to know how we’d react until we’re in the situation.

If you find yourself saying this:

This wouldn’t have happened if you hadn’t….

Try this instead:

You’re not to blame. What happened to you is not your fault.

If you find yourself saying this:

It’s not a big deal, this happens all the time.

Try this instead:

You’re not alone. Unfortunately, this happens way too often.

If you find yourself saying this:

I know exactly how you feel….

Try this instead:

How are you feeling?

If you find yourself saying this:

Well, what did you expect?

Try this instead:

No one deserves to be harassed at work.

If you find yourself saying this:

You know, what I think you need to do is….

Try this instead:

What do you need right now?

If you find yourself saying this:

How do you know that’s what they really meant?

Try this instead:

No matter what they meant, that was wrong.

If you find yourself saying this:

Maybe they were just flirting?

Try this instead:

What happened to you was wrong.

If you find yourself saying this:

Ugh, this is awkward.

Try this instead:

I’m sorry this happened to you.

If you find yourself saying this:

Tell me everything!

Try this instead:

Do you want to talk about it? You don’t need to tell me details unless you feel comfortable doing so.

If you find yourself saying this:

I’m calling the police!

Try this instead:

Do you want to report this to the police?

If you find yourself saying this:

Well, what’s going to happen? Are you going to quit? What if you lose your job? What if you can’t find a new job? Are you going to press charges? What does this all mean?

Try this instead:

This must be so overwhelming. Take some time. You don’t need to make any big decisions right away.

If you find yourself saying this:

What did you do to cause it?

Try this instead:

It’s not your fault.

If you find yourself saying this:

Oh, wow, I can’t believe it!

Try this instead:

I believe you.

If you find yourself saying this:

Are you sure?

Try this instead:

I believe you.

If you find yourself saying this:

Maybe you’re mistaken.

Try this instead:

I believe you.

If you find yourself saying this:

I really don’t think that could have happened.

Try this instead:

I believe you.

If you find yourself saying this:

But they’re such a nice person!

Try this instead:

I believe you.

If you find yourself saying this:

Are you exaggerating?

Try this instead:

I believe you.

If you find yourself saying this:

I’m sure they didn’t mean it.

Try this instead:

I believe you.

Most of the above responses are things people often think or say early on, when they are first told the news. If you said anything initially that you now regret, consider talking to the person and apologizing or clarifying what you meant.

It’s also helpful to consider how you can support the person over time. It is common for people to feel overwhelmed, sad, angry, scared, and upset for long periods. If you find yourself thinking any of the following…

  • Are you always going to feel this way?
  • When are you going to get over this?
  • Why can’t you just get over it?
  • These things happen all the time, but we can’t just cry about it.

…chances are that you’re thinking these things because it’s hard seeing this person going through pain and not knowing how to help them. You may be wanting to support them in moving forward and not know what to say.

It can be helpful to remember that, as difficult as it is for you to see this person struggling and in pain, it is much harder for the person who is going through this difficulty.

Instead of putting pressure on people to rush to feel happier, we urge you to be patient. Giving the person space and time to talk about their emotions allows them to move through how they feel and start to ultimately feel better. The exact length of time depends on each person.

Remember that one of the best ways you can help the person is by listening, without rushing them to feel differently.

Brené Brown on Empathy vs Sympathy

You can also ask the person what they need. Rather than make assumptions or tell the person what will help them, ask them directly. They may not always know, but it can still be helpful for them to know that you’re there for them and open to hearing how you can help them.

If you feel affected by the news of this person being sexually harassed, consider who else in your life can offer you emotional support. Likely the person who’s dealing with the sexual harassment needs to focus on their own needs at this moment. Instead, consider who else can help you. You can still respect their privacy, as you don’t necessarily need to tell your supports the details of what this other person experienced.


Here’s a list of research papers and articles we used in making this site. If you have a paper you want to tell us about, please email it to [email protected]. Thank you!


Why Didn’t She Just Report Him? The Psychological and Legal Implications of Women’s Responses to Sexual Harassment” (1995, Journal of Social Issues) is a meta-analysis aimed to uncover why women don’t report sexual harassment. It found they feared retaliation and believed nothing would be done even if they did report. The authors concluded that “[u]nfortunately, such beliefs are often well founded,” noting that one study had found one-third of people who reported said reporting “made things worse.” Another found that reporting was associated with “more negative outcomes of every type (job, psychological, and health-related).” Several found that “plaintiffs typically do not fare well in court,” and that even when they did prevail, settlements were often small. Half of people who reported lost their jobs and an additional 25% quit in fear and frustration. The paper concluded that “despite pervasive public opinion that women should ‘handle’ harassment assertively, confront the perpetrator immediately, and report him to appropriate authorities, reactions to such responses are generally not favorable for those who actually ‘blow the whistle’” One researcher notes, “Given the immense psychological and economic costs to individuals who use formal action, in contrast to the potentially meager gains, it is not surprising that so few victims choose this response.” 🇺🇸

The (Un)reasonableness of Reporting: Antecedents and Consequences of Reporting Sexual Harassment” (2002, Journal of Applied Psychology) found that reporting often triggers retaliation and “can harm the victim in terms of lowered job satisfaction and greater psychological distress. Such results suggest that, at least in certain work environments, the most ‘reasonable’ course of action for the victim is to avoid reporting.” 🇺🇸

Sexual Harassment in the Private Sector” (2003, Academic and Workplace Sexual Harassment: A Handbook of Cultural, Social Science, Management, and Legal Perspectives) references a number of studies. The percentage of survivors who reported is strikingly low: Among the six studies cited, the number ranged from less than 5% to 18%. Those who reported tended to have experienced what is characterized as more “offensive” types of harassment. For those who did report, roughly one-third said that their situation got worse. This was overwhelmingly the case for those who complained directly to the harasser. 🇺🇸

‘I’m Not Thinking of It as Sexual Harassment’: Understanding Harassment across Race and Citizenship” (2006, Gender & Society) reported that Black women find it impossible to detangle sexual harassment from racial harassment, and felt that sexual harassment was easier for them to handle, and less “pressing,” than racial harassment and discrimination. The Black women in the study felt like white women were less adept than Black women at handling sexual harassment by themselves. The study found that Filipinas working as live-in caregivers on limited visas had more ambiguous views on sexual harassment. Working for predominately white employers in their employers’ homes, they were not always clear where the boundary lies between appropriate and inappropriate behaviours. The Filipina workers also made connections to their lack of full citizenship rights, in terms of how this affected their ability to do anything about their experiences. 🇨🇦

Workplace Harassment: Double Jeopardy for Minority Women” (2006, Journal of Applied Psychology), a survey of 238 unionized workers in racially diverse workplaces, found that “minority women were significantly more harassed than minority men, majority women, and majority men when both ethnic and sexual harassment were combined into an overall measure of harassment.” 🇨🇦

The Moderating Roles of Race and Gender-Role Attitudes in the Relationship Between Sexual Harassment and Psychological Well-Being” (2007, Psychology of Women Quarterly) found that the more sexual harassment you experience, the more distress and post-traumatic stress you report, and the less satisfied you are with your life overall. It found that feminist white women who experience sexual harassment suffer fewer ill effects from it compared with white women who are not feminists: This, the authors hypothesize, is because feminist white women may be able to attribute harassing experiences to gender-based societal injustices, which allows them “to better insulate themselves from the negative psychological consequences of sexual harassment.” Feminist Black women, however, suffered more ill effects from sexual harassment compared with non-feminist Black women. The authors theorized that “[b]ecause Black women belong to multiple marginalized groups, they may feel personally impacted by multiple systems of inequity, that is, increased consciousness about gender-related issues may also result in increased consciousness about race-related difficulties and oppression, as well as consciousness about oppression that targets them on the basis of their race and gender intersection. For these women, sexual harassment may increase feelings of being personally targeted and at risk of additional harassment, which may lead to the heightened negative effect on psychological well-being that we observed.” The study also notes, “Additionally, after harassment, White women may have greater access to legal and mental health resources than Black women. Feminist attitudes may encourage White women to take advantage of these resources and thus ultimately cope more effectively with sexually harassing experiences. On the other hand, Black women who have more feminist attitudes may be more skeptical and critical of attempting to remedy situations through legal recourse, grievances, or counseling.” 🇺🇸

Examining the Job-Related, Psychological, and Physical Outcomes of Workplace Sexual Harassment: A Meta-Analytic Review” (2008, Psychology of Women Quarterly) analyzed 49 studies and found that “sexual harassment experiences are negatively associated with job-related outcomes, psychological health, and physical health conditions.” It found that harassed employees derive lower satisfaction from their work and are less committed to their organizations. They show declines in job performance, are more likely to quit their jobs, and are more likely to withdraw from their work (including having higher rates of absenteeism rates and avoidance of work duties). They have lower self-esteem and higher rates of depression. “Because sexual harassment is usually unexpected and often violates one’s beliefs about a supportive and nonviolent working environment, harassment victims are likely to have similar psychological symptoms as those who experience traumatic events.” They are more likely to have headaches, gastrointestinal disorders, sleep disturbance, and “sapped health conditions.” 🇺🇸

Aboriginal Mental Health: The Statistical Reality” (2008, Visions Journal) contains Canadian government statistics on Indigenous people and mental health. It found that “Aboriginal people have a holistic view of mental wellness. Wellness means being in a state of balance with family, community and the larger environment. Because of this, European models of treatment that remove the person from their surroundings tend not to work for this group. Culture and spirituality are the frameworks of treatment developed by first Nations and Inuit communities. Family and community have a key role in helping individuals regain their sense of balance.” 🇨🇦

In Harm’s Way: Factors Related to Psychological Distress Following Sexual Harassment” (2009, Psychology of Women Quarterly) enumerated factors affecting how harmed a person may be by sexual harassment, and found that “[c]ertain characteristics of the experience—such as being physical, the presence of threat, restricted access to escape, and being the sole target—are important predictors of PTSD and other psychic distress.” It found that “in general, the more the victim blamed herself, the more psychological disruption she experienced.” It also argued that engaging in litigation may hurt the survivor’s ability to heal: “Certainly, women who are involved in ongoing litigation are obliged to remain focused on the past due to the demands of testimony, and civil trials are unfortunately known for their lengthy delays, further inhibiting recovery. The implication for professionals is that treatment for women recovering from sexual harassment may be well served by including an emphasis on coping in the present, rather than seeking a person or entity to blame. This is not to say that individuals and organizations should not be held responsible for past actions and failures to act, but, rather, that a focus for recovery might be present coping strategies and the fostering of a sense of control over the recovery process.” 🇺🇸

An Examination of the Workplace Experiences of Police Patrol Officers: The Role of Race, Sex, and Sexual Orientation” (2009, Police Quarterly) found that Black policewomen experience higher rates of sexual harassment on the job compared with white policewomen. 🇺🇸

Compensating Differentials for Sexual Harassment” (2011, The American Economic Review: Papers and Proceedings) says that women who work in majority-male environments get a pay boost in exchange for being harassed. Its conclusion: “This paper shows that, on balance, workers receive a wage premium for exposure to the risk of sexual harassment in much the same way that workers receive a wage premium for the risk of fatality or injury.” 🇺🇸

An Overview of the Literature on Antecedents, Perceptions and Behavioural Consequences of Sexual Harassment” (2012, Journal of Sexual Aggression) found that “[f]ormal and informal complaints to relevant authorities” is the strategy least often used by workers who have experienced sexual harassment. For people who did report, approximately half said their situation improved slightly, whereas 33% said it got worse. People who report stated they had a more negative perception of organizational justice after reporting, compared with people who did not report. 🇺🇸

Labour Arbitration of Co-Worker Sexual Harassment Cases in Canada” (2012, Canadian Journal of Administrative Sciences). Author Susan M. Hart analyzed 26 cases that went to union arbitration in Canada between 1992 and 2008. All the cases involved women who had reported being sexually harassed by male co-workers in the same union. Of the 26 cases, 23 were filed on behalf of men who had been disciplined by an employer for sexual harassment. (One case involved three grievances.) Most of the men had been dismissed; two had been suspended for less than two weeks. The two who were suspended were reinstated with full compensation. Of the discharges, 61% were reinstated. The article concludes: “The findings from this study…indicate that the arbitration process is likely to have a chilling effect on women who are considering filing a formal sexual harassment complaint thus undermining, rather than protecting, their workplace rights.” 🇨🇦

The Career Experiences of Male-to-Female Transsexuals” (2012, The Counseling Psychologist) includes quotes from trans women about being harassed at work. 🇺🇸

Framing Sexual Harassment through Media Representations” (2013, Women’s Studies International Forum), an analysis of news media coverage of workplace sexual harassment in Canada, Australia, the U.S. and the U.K., found it overreported what the study calls “classic” sexual harassment, “that is, harassment perpetrated by a male who was more senior to the complainant, such as a line manager towards a female subordinate.” In contrast, the study found, news media underreported peer- or co-worker-perpetrated harassment, and harassment perpetrated by a junior colleague or by customers or clients. Further, the study found media overreported “cases where the target was employed in a skilled or authoritative occupation, including legislators, senior officials and managers, professionals, and technicians and associate professionals.” Media were also found to have overreported serious physical harassment, at the expense of non-physical forms of harassment, which are more common, such as insults, the display of offensive materials, and offensive comments and nonverbal gestures. The study noted that news media overreported sexualization at the expense of bullying. 🇦🇺

Three-in-Ten Canadians Say They’ve Been Sexually Harassed at Work, but Very Few Have Reported This to Their Employers” (2014, Angus Reid Institute) found that 28% of Canadians reported having experienced “sexual harassment and unwanted contact” in their workplace or at a work function, with women almost four times more likely than men to say they’d been sexually harassed. The actions people reported taking as a result were, in order of frequency, confronting the harasser directly (40%), talking with a friend or family member (34%), reporting the harassment to their employer (22%), taking no action (19%), quitting their job (16%), and requesting a transfer (7%). Of those who reported, 40% said their employer “was responsive and conducted a serious investigation and took appropriate action,” about a third said their employer “was responsive but did not take any concrete action,” and about one in four said their employer was “unresponsive and dismissive.” 🇨🇦

Voices from Beyond: A Thematic Content Analysis of Transgender Employees’ Workplace Experiences” (2014, Psychology of Sexual Orientation and Gender Diversity) quotes a 2006 U.S. survey of 6,450 transgender and gender-nonconforming people, which found that 90% reported experiencing harassment or mistreatment at work or taking action to avoid it. It quotes another qualitative study that found transgender people reporting these harassment experiences: “being outed [as transgender], being deliberately called a former name or gender pronoun, being fired or denied employment, being denied access to restrooms, and being physically threatened or emotionally abused.” In another study, transgender employees reported their gender identity was challenged as inauthentic. One example was being instructed on how to appropriately dress for their gender. The result was “stress, anxiety, apprehension, depression, and limited occupational prospects.” Their job satisfaction went down. They felt less in control and less hopeful, and sometimes as a result engaged in substance use or attempted suicide. Trans people said good workplaces brought in training or education for co-workers (so the trans person didn’t have to do it all themselves), made it easy for the employee to access appropriately gendered spaces such as bathrooms and locker rooms, and made it easy to change their email address post transition. 🇺🇸

Voicing Their Complaints? The Silence of Students Working in Retail and Hospitality and Sexual Harassment from Customers” (2014, Labour & Industry) interviewed 10 post-secondary students working or who had worked in the service sector who had experienced sexual harassment by their customers. It found the students responded to sexual harassment by employing strategies designed to cope with it, rather than to contest it. 🇦🇺

Work, Bodies and Boundaries: Talking Sexual Harassment in the New Economy” (2014, Gender, Work & Organization) examines sexual harassment in the context of the changing workplace. The writers found that because the boundary between work and home life is more and more blurred, workers are increasingly unsure whether a particular behaviour constitutes workplace sexual harassment, versus being part of their personal life. The study also finds that “the growing imperative for workers to self-manage may similarly erode their ability and/or willingness to read sexual harassment as a legitimate workplace concern, returning it instead to the realm of individual failure and individual responsibility.”🇺🇸

Harmful Workplace Experiences and Women’s Occupational Well-being: A Meta-Analysis” (2015, Psychology of Women Quarterly) found that “more intense yet less frequent harmful experiences (e.g., sexual coercion and unwanted sexual attention) and less intense but more frequent harmful experiences (e.g., sexist organizational climate and gender harassment) had similar negative effects on women’s well-being.” 🇺🇸

Workplace Sexual Harassment at the Margins” (2015, Work, Employment and Society) analyzed 282 complaints of sexual harassment reported to equal opportunity commissions in Australia in 2009. It found that 78% of sexual harassment complaints were women complaining about men, 11% were men complaining about men, 6% were women complaining about women, and 5% were men complaining about women. It found 89% of alleged harassers were male, and 11% were female. About half of sexual harassment was non-physical, and it included sexually suggestive comments, offensive jokes, rumours, and intrusive questions. 🇦🇺

Law and the Construction of Institutionalized Sexual Harassment in Restaurants” (2015, Canadian Journal of Law and Society)argues that job precariousness can limit a person’s right to work free of sexual harassment. Using the restaurant industry as an example, the paper how describes precarious work environments constrain people’s ability to resist sexual harassment, and enumerates factors that contribute to that, such as reliance on tips, insecure income, and unpredictable scheduling. 🇨🇦

Hostility or Hospitality? A Review on Violence, Bullying and Sexual Harassment in the Tourism and Hospitality Industry” (2015, Current Issues in Tourism) identifies six types of workplace bullying: “1) changing the victim’s work tasks in some negative way or making them difficult to perform, 2) social isolation and boycott by not communicating with somebody or excluding someone from social activities, 3) insulting remarks, personal attacks (also on the victim’s private life), 4) verbal threats in which the victim is humiliated in public, and 5) spreading rumours regarding the victim,” and 6) cyber-bullying. The review finds that all the academic research says the hospitality industry is highly aggressive, with high levels of violence, bullying, and harassment. The study says that’s because workers in the sector are vulnerable (“female, young and minorities”), not unionized, and low paid, and so they are easily targeted. It’s also because managers in the sector are weak and ineffective. And the “customer first” culture contributes to tolerance of sexual harassment, and attracts people who are insensitive to harassment. The study suggests that social media may provide a voice to people who haven’t had one, which may raise awareness of the problem and deter some harassers. 🇮🇱

’But It’s Your Job to Be Friendly’: Employees Coping with and Contesting Harassment from Customers in the Service Sector” (2016, Gender, Work & Organization) found that service-centre employees mostly respond informally and quickly to sexual harassment. People in the service sector “found themselves defining the limits of inappropriate behaviour, with some setting the bar for sexual harassment only at physical touching.” They “also felt responsible for developing an appropriate response to the harassment, weighing up their feelings of being personally uncomfortable with the emotional labor requirements of the work to offer friendly, personalized customer service.” Many “reflected on their working conditions and the status of the work, conceptualizing their job as temporary. They internalized the idea that it was ‘not real’, meaning not a full-time career track job and therefore not worth making a complaint.” Because servers are trained to comply with the law when serving alcohol, some would use cutting off alcohol as a way to try to stop sexual harassment or to indicate disapproval. Many made jokes. Others complained to colleagues or traded tips with colleagues on how to avoid or interrupt sexual harassment. When necessary, some would ask a janitor or a security person to intervene. Practically no one reported sexual harassment to their boss, in part because most service-sector workplaces didn’t have formal policies or practices related to sexual harassment by customers. 🇺🇸

Law’s Gendered Subtext: The Gender Order of Restaurant Work and Making Sexual Harassment Normal” (2016, Feminist Legal Studies) argues that part of the reason legal systems designed to combat sexual harassment are failing is because those systems require people experiencing sexual harassment to repeatedly object to it. (This is known as the reasonableness test, which asks “whether or not the alleged harasser ‘knows or ought reasonably to have known’ that his sexual conduct was unwelcome.”) The paper argues that requiring repeated objections is unreasonable in workplaces where sexualization and/or harassment is the norm, such as in restaurants and bars. As the author puts it, “[D]efining sexual harassment using the welcome/unwelcome framing, and requiring that a ‘reasonable person’ ought to have known that the conduct in question was unwelcome, is irrelevant in the context of workplaces in which sexual harassment is constructed to be an ordinary part of the job.” 🇨🇦

Harassment in Canadian Workplaces” (2016, Statistics Canada) found that of women who self-identified as “Aboriginal,” 10% say they were sexually harassed at work in the past year, compared with 4% of those who did not self-identify as Aboriginal. 🇨🇦

To Confront Versus not to Confront: Women’s Perception of Sexual Harassment” (2017, European Journal of Psychology Applied to Legal Context) found that women’s beliefs about potential negative consequences and reactions deter many women from confronting the person who harassed them and/or reporting the incident. 🇪🇸

Sexual Harassment: Have We Made Any Progress?” (2017, Journal of Occupational Health Psychology) characterized workplace sexual harassment as a “continuing, chronic occupational health problem” and noted that female military personnel who reported sexual harassment did not experience improved job, psychological, or health outcomes afterward. 🇺🇸

Sexual Harassment in Care Work—Dilemmas and Consequences: A Qualitative Investigation” (2017, International Journal of Nursing Studies) involved interviews with 39 care workers at Danish workplaces, including hospitals, nursing homes, community health centres, rehabilitation care centres, and psychiatric residential facilities, about their experiences of workplace sexual harassment. It found that sexual harassment of care workers was very frequent, and that care workers get little support in handling it. “The care workers often separated between intentional and unintentional behaviours initiated by cognitively impaired patients. Thus, they often refrain from using the term harassment, because it implies that the actions were intentional. However, the interviews revealed that, in practice, this separation was very difficult….The managers, shop stewards and safety representatives in this study were often not aware of the frequency and the impact of the episodes had on the care workers. The workplaces participating in this study rarely had guidelines or policies for managing and/or preventing sexual harassment or inappropriate sexual behaviours, but often responded to episodes in an ad hoc and case-by-case manner.” 🇩🇰

The Economic and Career Effects of Sexual Harassment on Working Women” (2017, Gender & Society) found that workplace sexual harassment increases financial stress, largely by precipitating job change, and can significantly alter women’s career attainment. Specifically, the study finds that quitting a job due to sexual harassment can have significant negative impacts on women’s careers. Women who leave their job then have “‘a sequence of stressful experiences’ from unemployment, job search, retraining, and reemployment ‘often in a job of inferior quality and lower earnings.’” Sexual harassment can be “a major scarring event that disrupts ‘the usual trajectory of steady jobs with career ladders that normally propels wage growth.’” In addition, “By severing ties with employers, workers also relinquish firm-specific human capital, which is closely linked to earnings. Further, harassment targets may have trouble obtaining references from managers and coworkers. Those who find a new job may discover lack of seniority limits earnings growth and increases vulnerability to layoffs and career instability. Career interruption may be especially costly in the early career.” And, “Our quantitative and qualitative results indicate that harassment experienced in women’s twenties and early thirties knocks many off-course during this formative career stage.” Women “find themselves in the untenable position of having to choose between participating in misogynistic cultures at work, which does not serve them as women, or resisting these cultures, leaving little chance for growth in their companies.” 🇺🇸

The Effects of Resource Extraction on Inuit Women and Their Families: Evidence from Canada” (2017, Gender & Development) examined the gendered social impacts of resource extraction in Qamani’tuaq, Nunavut, finding that sexual harassment and assault was one of the top three reasons Inuit women gave for leaving their jobs at the Meadowbank mine there. The women were employed mainly in entry-level positions as housekeepers and kitchen staff, including cleaning the male employees’ sleeping quarters, which they said increased their vulnerability. Nearly 50% of study participants said sexual assault at the mine was a problem, and several complained specifically about rape. 🇨🇦

Public Service Employee Survey (2017, Government of Canada) found that of employees who self-identified as Indigenous, 28% reported being harassed at work in the last year, compared with 17% of those who did not self-identify as Indigenous. 🇨🇦

Why Doesn’t She Just Report It?: Apprehensions and Contradictions for Women Who Report Sexual Violence to the Police” (2017, Canadian Journal of Women and the Law) studied 36 Ottawa women’s reports of sexual assault to the police and analyzed the general failure of procedural justice. The author noted that societal expectations of a positive police response to a sexual assault report are rising, from 61% of women assaulted since 2010, compared to 28% assaulted at an earlier point. However, she indicates that there’s no evidence that charging or prosecution rates have actually improved. Many of the women in the study found “they were met with inappropriate responses to trauma, other callous behaviour, or disbelief and threats of repercussions if they were found to be fabricating.” 🇨🇦

Sexual Harassment in the Workplace: Where Were the Unions?” (2018, Labor Studies Journal) reports that labour unions “have a mixed record when it comes to fighting sexual harassment, especially in cases that involve conduct by union members,” and that male-dominated unions, especially, “too often [side] with male harassers.” “A troubling pattern emerges from these cases,” the study reports, in that “a victim complains to the union, the union representative ignores her, or points her toward the employer, encouraging her to file a complaint under the employer’s sexual harassment policy….When the employer disciplines a harasser, the union grieves the discipline, forcing the victim and the employer to align in opposition to the union and the harasser. Indeed, sexual harassment grievances in labor arbitration overwhelmingly involve men challenging discipline for sexually harassing conduct.” 🇺🇸

Initial Assessment of the Psychometric Properties of the Sexual Harassment Reporting Attitudes Scale” (2018, Cogent Psychology) restates a lot of other research about why people don’t report sexual harassment—mainly because they don’t think reporting will result in anything changing, they don’t feel the harassment was serious enough to be worth reporting, they are worried about retaliation, and/or they believe reporting will make their situation worse. The study also finds that the strongest predictor of whether someone will report is whether they believe they have a moral duty to do so. In other words, this study finds that reporting isn’t motivated by practical goals such as a desire to make the harassment stop, or to get compensation for what happened. Rather, it says, the motivation to report is primarily a moral one: People who report do it because they believe reporting is the right thing to do, even though they also believe it will be ineffective. 🇺🇸

Harassment in Canadian Workplaces” (2018, Statistics Canada) uses data from the 2016 General Social Survey on Canadians at Work and Home. (Note: The study extended past sexual harassment to include verbal abuse, physical violence, and other forms of harassment.) The study found that the group most often reported as harassing women at work are “clients or customers,” followed by “a colleague or peer,” then by “supervisor or manager.” For men who were harassed, the most common harasser was “client or customer,” followed by “supervisor or manager,” followed by “colleague or peer.” The study found that a person’s likelihood of having ever been harassed at work grows over time, and peaks at ages 45-54. It also found that the more years of education you have, the more likely you are to say you’ve been harassed at work. However, it also found that the less money you make, the more likely you are to say you’ve been harassed at work. 🇨🇦

‘I Made Myself Small Like a Cat and Ran Away’: Workplace Sexual Harassment, Precarious Immigration Status and Legal Violence” (2019, Journal of Gender Studies) involved interviews with 21 female Mexican migrants in Toronto who were engaged in precarious work (often working for cash pay, through subcontractors and agencies). The interviews found the women were frequently sexually harassed at work, but did not report the harassment to the authorities, in part because of fear of deportation. 🇨🇦

Race, Threat and Workplace Sexual Harassment: The Dynamics of Harassment in the United States, 1997-2016” (2019, Gender, Work & Organization), an analysis of U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission data from 1997 to 2016, found that during that period, white women’s reports of sexual harassment decreased while Black women’s reports increased, and that worsening economic conditions led to a rise in reports of sexual harassment. The study authors observed that sexual harassment shifted from white women to Black women as white women began to gain workplace power, and concluded that harassers are conscious of power relationships, and choose to target more vulnerable women in their workplaces. The link between changes in the unemployment rate and changes in sexual harassment in the following months indicates, the researchers wrote, that men are more likely to engage in harassing behaviour when they have reason to feel that their economic position in society is under threat. Rather than being about sexual desire, or an unavoidable consequence of men and women working together, the researchers conclude, sexual harassment in the workplace is an expression of power and a way for men to assert their dominance. In sum, they say, men respond to the potential loss of relative status by carrying out extreme forms of masculine overcompensation, including sexual harassment, as a gendered display of power and dominance. 🇺🇸

The Penalties for Self-Reporting Sexual Harassment” (2019, Gender & Society) found that study participants were less likely to recommend a woman for promotion if she had reported sexual harassment, relative to otherwise identical women, and concluded that “women may hesitate to report sexual harassment because they rightly perceive that doing so could cause them to experience bias.” 🇺🇸

How Women Are Penalized at Work for Reporting Sexual Harassment” (2019, Gender and the Economy) found that when women report workplace sexual harassment “they are penalized in terms of advancement opportunities.” 🇺🇸

Why Women Are Blamed for Being Sexually Harassed: The Effects of Empathy for Female Victims and Male Perpetrators” (2019, Psychology of Women Quarterly) study found that when women report workplace sexual harassment they often encounter victim-blaming attitudes, especially from men. 🇺🇸

Workplace Sexual Harassment: Assessing the Effectiveness of Human Rights Law in Canada” (2019, Allard Faculty Publications) is an analysis of sexual harassment decisions at the B.C. and Ontario Human Rights Tribunals from 2000-2018. If found that over those 18 years, in B.C., a total of 66 sexual harassment complaints made it all the way through the process from reporting to decision, and in Ontario, that number was 116. In B.C., 68% of complaints were ultimately found justified and in Ontario, 64% were found justified, with the remainder dismissed. Self-represented complainants were less likely to have their complaints found justified, compared to complainants represented by lawyers. The analysis found that human rights tribunal decisions privilege quid pro quo and physical forms of sexual harassment over covert and subtle forms of harassment, and that complainants are plagued by issues and questions about their credibility, their character, and consent. Nevertheless, the study found that in Canada, legal claims concerning sexual harassment and misconduct are increasingly being pursued through human rights tribunals, because such tribunals are felt to be a better vehicle than other forums due to their relaxed evidentiary and examination standards, less adversarial atmosphere, and higher compensatory awards. 🇨🇦

Unofficial Reporting in the #MeToo Era” (2019, University of Chicago Legal Forum) discusses new technology-facilitated mechanisms that people are using to report sexual harassment, such as Twitter, crowdsourced spreadsheets, and the Blind app, that bypass formalized mechanisms of accountability. 🇺🇸

The Sociology of Gaslighting” (2019, American Sociological Review) argues that “[g]aslighting should be understood as rooted in social inequalities, including gender, and executed in power-laden intimate relationships. The theory developed here argues that gaslighting is consequential when perpetrators mobilize gender-based stereotypes and structural and institutional inequalities against victims to manipulate their realities. Using domestic violence as a strategic case study to identify the mechanisms via which gaslighting operates, [the author reveals] how abusers mobilize gendered stereotypes; structural vulnerabilities related to race, nationality, and sexuality; and institutional inequalities against victims to erode their realities. These tactics are gendered in that they rely on the association of femininity with irrationality. Gaslighting offers an opportunity for sociologists to theorize under-recognized, gendered forms of power and their mobilization in interpersonal relationships.” 🇺🇸

Limiting Our Livelihoods: The Cumulative Impact of Sexual Harassment on Women’s Careers” (2019, American Association of University Women) found that “women who have experienced sexual harassment report severe and long-lasting negative mental health consequences, such as depression and post-traumatic stress. Sexual harassment has also been linked to a higher risk of long-term negative physical health effects, as both direct and indirect consequences of negative mental health effects. The destructive impact sexual harassment has on health and well-being can last for years after the incidents….The negative mental and physical health effects can diminish job performance and morale. The lost time out of work or the need to change jobs prematurely can result in less income and, consequently, lower contributions to Social Security and/or retirement savings programs, thereby compromising women’s long-term economic prospects.” 🇺🇸

Measuring the Economic Costs of Workplace Sexual Harassment on Women” (2019, Scripps Senior Theses) summarizes the results of a literature review. “According to the U.S. Merit Systems Protection Board (MSPB), women who are sexually harassed tend to take more sick days, report lower productivity at work, have higher job dissatisfaction and often quit their jobs. According to one study, many women are passed over for promotions if they do not participate [in] or condone their co-worker’s harassing behavior. If women decide to leave their job, they often face career setbacks due to taking a job with lower income, starting over with a less prestigious position in a new company or leaving the industry altogether. Involuntary job displacement causes financial stress and hinders future career trajectories for individual women. In addition, companies or industries with high levels of sexual harassment are harmful to all women, placing them ‘in the untenable position of having to choose between participating in misogynistic cultures at work, which does not serve them as women, or resisting these cultures, leaving little chance for growth in their companies.’ This inhibits women from pursuing specific career paths or going into certain industries.” The paper also says, “One of the most current and thorough studies on this topic examines the immediate and long-term financial stress on women who experience sexual harassment early in [their] careers. Using Youth Development Study data, McLaughlin et al. find that women who experience harassment between the ages of 29 to 30 have increased financial stress in their early thirties. This is mostly due to women quitting their job in order to avoid harassers or because they are dissatisfied with their workplace. The study also conducted interviews with targets of sexual harassment and found that women were likely to move to a different industry, change their career path, and reduce their work hours, which often lowered their wages. The overall impact on career attainment and financial stability was on par with serious injury or illness, incarceration, and assault.This is one of the few studies that focuses on the impact of harassment on women’s financial situations and it nicely incorporates qualitative data to support the quantitative findings.” The paper has some other interesting findings. The younger you are, the likelier you are to be harassed: People older than their mid-forties are significantly less likely to be harassed than younger people. But the people who report workplace sexual harassment tend to be older: In the United States, the average age of a worker reporting is 47. Thirty-eight percent of women who reported were between 46-50 and 36% of women were between 51-55, while 0% were between 30-35. “Older women have more job stability, financial stability, and possibly more experience dealing with these issues, therefore they are reporting incidences of sexual harassment more consistently. The women that are making a difference and drawing attention to sexual harassment are predominantly older women.” Also, “Women in blue-collar workers face the most sexual harassment,” while white women are disproportionately likely to report. 🇺🇸

Putting People Down and Pushing Them Out: Sexual Harassment in the Workplace” (2020, Annual Review of Organizational Psychology and Organizational Behavior), a meta-review of academic research, says that “by far the most common manifestation of sexual harassment is gender harassment, which has contempt at its core” and “aims to put people down and push them out, not pull them into sexual activity.” It says, “gender harassment is far more common than unwanted sexual attention or coercion.” “In terms of who engages in sexual harassment, research finds that harassers are more often men than women,” and “even when men are the victims of sexual harassment, the person harassing them is commonly another man. Men’s sexual harassment of other men tends to involve a unique form of gender harassment, humiliating those who deviate from heterosexual male gender roles.” Trans men report experiencing less sexual harassment after transitioning, whereas trans women report more. In terms of how people respond to sexual harassment, the research found that only 15% of harassed women and 11% of harassed men made formal complaints, and that “[r]eporting is typically the response of last resort, attempted only after all other efforts at ending the harassment have failed.” The study finds that people’s reluctance to report is well-founded, because reporting is often followed by “indifference, trivialization, and retaliation.” 🇺🇸

A Discussion Paper: Ending Sexual Violence and Sexual Exploitation In First Nation Communities” (2020, Chiefs of Ontario) criticizes the addressing of sexual violence and sexual exploitation in Ontario First Nation communities, saying it has largely relied on Canadian models of justice and intervention without inclusion of, or designed with, a foundation of First Nation knowledge. 🇨🇦

Fem or Foe?: Non-Communal Women Who Report Sexual Harassment Receive Fewer Career Advancement Opportunities” (2020, PDX Scholar) found that “women who report harassment receive lower scores of perceived promotability, hireability, and raise-worthiness than women who don’t report harassment.” 🇺🇸

Discounting Credibility: Doubting the Stories of Women Survivors of Sexual Harassment” (2020, Seton Hall Law Review) argues that the reason sexual harassment is still a big problem is because our culture has a “reflexive inclination to discount the credibility of women, especially when those women are recounting experiences of abuse perpetrated by more powerful men.” It says that “managers, supervisors, union representatives, human resource officers, and judges—improperly discount as implausible women’s stories of harassment, due to a failure to understand either the psychological trauma caused by abusive treatment or the practical realities that constrain women’s options in its aftermath.” Further, it argues, “gatekeepers unjustly discount women’s personal trustworthiness, based on their demeanor (as affected by the trauma they often have suffered); on negative cultural stereotypes about women’s motives for seeking redress for harms; and on our deep-rooted cultural belief that women as a group are inherently less than fully trustworthy.” 🇺🇸

Should I Stay or Should I Go? Employment Discrimination and Workplace Harassment against Transgender and Other Minority Employees in Canada’s Federal Public Service” (2020, Journal of Homosexuality) found that gender diverse (transgender, nonbinary and genderqueer) federal public service employees experience significantly higher rates of employment harassment relative to cisgender men and cisgender women. With the exception of those with disabilities, gender -diverse employees have the highest rates of self-reported employment discrimination and harassment, compared to cisgender women, visible minorities, and Indigenous peoples. This paper finds that the intersection of multiple minority statuses increase self-reported discrimination and harassment. 🇨🇦

Building Inclusion for Indigenous Peoples in the Canadian Workplaces” (2020, Catalyst) involved a survey of 86 Indigenous people working in Canada, and found 67% reported being on guard against bias while at work, and more than half felt psychologically unsafe at work. 🇨🇦

To Stop Gender Discrimination at Work, Canada Has all the Laws It Needs—but the System Enforcing Them Is Broken” (2021, Globe and Mail): Reporter Robyn Doolittle walks through all the options available to women experiencing workplace sexual harassment, and condemns the system as utterly broken. 🇨🇦

Workers’ Experiences of Inappropriate Sexualized Behaviours, Sexual Assault and Gender-based Discrimination in the Canadian Provinces, 2020” (2021, Statistics Canada), a huge omnibus conducted just before the pandemic, affirms a lot of what we’ve learned from other sources about workplace sexual harassment: that women are likeliest to be sexually harassed, that the harassers are almost always men, that this harassment is most common in industries dominated by men and in the service sector (especially bars and restaurants), that in the se they resolved it on their own, rvice sector it is most often perpetrated by clients, patients, and customers, that people targeted are often young people, people, with disabilities, and 2SLGBTQIA+ people, etc. It found that almost a third of workers say their employer has not told them how to report workplace sexual harassment. It found that the perpetrator was most commonly an equal in the workplace, not a boss or a subordinate. It found that less than half of people experiencing workplace sexual harassment told someone at work. Of people who told someone, only 6% told HR, 3% told a union rep, a little less than half told a boss or a supervisor, and about 70% told a co-worker. Those who hadn’t told someone gave the normal reasons, in order of frequency: they felt it wasn’t serious enough, they resolved it on their own, they didn’t think anything would be done, they were afraid of reprisals, the behaviour stopped, or they didn’t think they would be believed. They reported the normal negative impacts: that their work suffered, they lost trust in their employer, about a third considered quitting, about 40% said they suffered emotionally, and a small number (about 5%) reported using drugs or alcohol to cope. 🇨🇦

Paying Today and Tomorrow: Charting the Financial Costs of Workplace Sexual Harassment” (2021, Institute for Women’s Policy Research, Time’s Up Foundation), attempts to quantify the financial costs of sexual harassment for survivors, through interviews with workplace sexual harassment experts and 16 survivors. It finds that the lifetime costs of harassment and retaliation are particularly high for people pushed out of well-paid, male-dominated occupations such as trades. Major contributors to negative financial outcomes are job loss and periods of unemployment, the loss of pension and health insurance benefits, costs of retraining for a new industry, and the results of being pushed out of well-paid jobs into ones that pay less. The effects are particularly severe for people working in low-paid and precarious jobs, and can lead to, for example, higher financial costs like increased interest rates and late fees, lower credit ratings, mounting student loan debt, repossession of cars, eviction from housing, temporary homelessness, and reduced retirement security. The study found that policies designed to prevent workplace sexual harassment are not working: Those responsible for preventing or addressing harassment did not do it, and retaliation is common. People at heightened risk of suffering financial losses due to harassment include those who work in male-dominated industries, in physically isolated workplaces, or in situations of significant power imbalance (including due to immigration status), and those who don’t have clear channels for reporting harassment because of their employment status (because they are subcontractors, franchisees, or otherwise “decentralized”). The study found that the lifetime costs of workplace sexual harassment could reach as high as $1.3 million for people pushed out of well-paid, male-dominated industries. Of the 16 people interviewed, all had suffered some financial losses as a result of being harassed. 🇺🇸


When you get sexually harassed, you might or might not end up traumatized. Here are some things to keep in mind:

  • Every sexual harassment experience has the potential to be traumatic.
  • It can be hard to tell at first how or if the trauma affects you.
  • Two people can have the same experience and one may end up traumatized while the other does not.
  • Experiencing something traumatic does not necessarily mean you will develop post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
  • If you’ve experienced a lot of trauma over time, it is possible to develop CPTSD, or complex post-traumatic stress disorder. 

When talking about trauma, there’s a very useful concept called the Window of Tolerance.

Window of Tolerance, Sophie C

The idea is that we each have a range (or window) of how much stress we can tolerate. Every day you will experience ups and downs in terms of your level of alertness. What falls within your window or outside of your window is unique to you and can change over time.

On a typical day, we experience different stressful events. Maybe you were late for work, or got in an argument with a family member, or someone nearly hit you with their car. Each stressful event can temporarily bring you to a higher point in your window. If these events happen in rapid succession and there isn’t enough time to calm down in between, you will likely be close to the edge of your window, or perhaps even outside it.

Some people are close to the edge of their window of tolerance nearly all of the time. That can happen if your life is very stressful. You may be stressed with money, health issues, family conflict, difficulty at work, or other challenges. It can also happen if you regularly experience discrimination, like if you are Indigenous or racialized or queer.

When you get harassed, you may get pushed outside of your window. This is especially likely if the harassment was really bad or if you were already close to the limit of your window of tolerance. We exit our window of tolerance whenever there is a real or perceived danger. Sexual harassment is a threat to your well-being, so your mind and body jump into survival mode to try to protect you.

That usually results in one of four reactions. They’re called fight, flight, freeze, and fawn.

Fight, flight, freeze, and fawn

Here are some examples of how each of these reactions can look:

Someone sexually harasses you. You yell at them to stop or to leave you alone. You hit them or push them physically away from you. You go straight to your boss to complain. These responses can all fall into the category of fight.

Someone sexually harasses you. You immediately want to leave the room. You quickly get away or even leave your workplace. You may avoid going into work or you may quit your job on the spot. You find yourself running away or wanting desperately to get away from anything threatening. These responses can all be forms of flight.

Someone sexually harasses you. You freeze in place. You can’t move. You don’t say or do anything. The blood is pounding in your ears. If you were a car, it would be like your gas and brake pedals were being pushed at the same time, with your engine revving but not able to go anywhere. These are all versions of freeze.

Someone sexually harasses you. You smile or laugh. You try to smooth things over. You try not to do anything that might make the harasser mad at you. You try to charm them. If someone was watching, they might misunderstand and think you’re okay with what’s happening, or even enjoying it. That’s fawn.

Because each of these responses occurs when you are outside of your window of tolerance, none of them are completely in your control. They are automatic responses that are exclusively trying to keep you safe and alive. They may not always make sense. They are often confusing, as they are likely different from how you would act if you felt calm and had time to think things through.

Why you responded the way you did

Your response is likely based on a combination of what was available to you as an option at the time, what you quickly assessed to be the best response given the circumstances, and what has helped you in the past when you’ve felt threatened.

Maybe your response made perfect sense, and you feel like you handled things right.

But more often, that’s not how people feel. Most people who’ve been sexually harassed find themselves totally confused by how they reacted.

Maybe you see yourself as resilient, or determined, or clever, or brave. And yet, when you got harassed, you acted in some totally different way. Maybe now you are worrying that you’re not the person you thought you were.

If that’s true for you, please know that how you react to a threat in no way reflects your character, your values, or who you are as a person. It just doesn’t.

  • If you had a fight response, that doesn’t mean you’re aggressive or reckless.
  • If you had a flight response, it doesn’t mean you’re a quitter.
  • If you had a freeze response, that doesn’t make you passive.
  • If you had a fawn response, that doesn’t make you complicit.

Sometimes people end up regretting how they reacted, because their reaction really messed up things for them. Like maybe you got fired for blowing up and yelling, or maybe you spontaneously walked away from a job that you really need. Or you wish you were able to fight back and feel confused about why you didn’t.

Sometimes people find themselves feeling like they overreacted. That’s very common because, again, this isn’t a conscious choice where you feel in total control of your actions.

When you exit your window of what you can tolerate, you are no longer able to think about your short- or long-term goals. You are only focused on your immediate goal to survive the dangerous situation you are in. At the time, your brain quickly assessed its options and decided on what it believed was the best way to react to protect you and minimize harm.

The threat of sexual violence, in and of itself, is a traumatizing event. If it provoked an emergency-level response, that makes sense.

How trauma may affect you

Here are some common signs of trauma that you may experience after sexual harassment. This list is by no means exhaustive, but it can be a helpful place to start in understanding what you are going through. 

Negative thoughts or moods: Feeling bad about yourself, feeling depressed, angry, isolated, ashamed, or scared.

Hypervigilance: Feeling skittish or easily startled. You may feel a need to always be on the lookout for danger. You may notice having tense muscles, a racing heart, or other signs in your body that you’re ready to jump into action at any moment.

Other physical symptoms: Like body pain and aches, higher blood pressure, headaches, nausea, or trouble breathing.

Flashbacks or nightmares: When memories of the event replay in your mind or you feel as though you are reliving it.

Rumination: When you can’t stop thinking about what happened or you keep questioning why you didn’t react differently.

Avoidance: Avoiding thoughts about the traumatic event, or avoiding certain places, people, or situations. It can also be avoidance of touch or any physical or sexual intimacy.

Fatigue or trouble sleeping: Difficulty falling or staying asleep, or feeling the need to sleep a lot more than usual.

Each of these symptoms makes sense when we think about what your body is experiencing and how it is trying to help you to stay safe. Even if your mind knows that you are no longer in an emergency situation, your body may take a lot longer to realize that. Many of these symptoms are necessary if you need to be ready to “leap into action.”

What helps

Try to understand that your initial reaction doesn’t say anything about you as a person. If you regret what you did or are judging yourself, try to remember that our automatic responses of fight, flight, freeze, and fawn are not conscious choices. Instead of being upset with yourself for how you “should have responded,” try to practise self-forgiveness.

Prioritize your own safety. If we spend a lot of time outside of our window of tolerance, the window can start to shrink. With a smaller window, experiences that you could previously tolerate may now be outside of your window of tolerance. If you are finding yourself easily startled or triggered, that may be because your window has temporarily shrunk. Your window can expand over time, provided you are able to stay within it. This is not always within your control, but it can be helpful to consider ways to make yourself be, and feel, more safe.

If the threatening event is over and you feel you can now think more easily, it might help to consider how you’d want to handle it if you get harassed again. Think about how you might want to respond to different harassment scenarios. Consider practising with a friend.

Practise calm breathing. There can be many ways to do this, including slowing down your breath, or a technique called box breathing. With box breathing, you picture a square. You can decide what colour, size, or texture the box is. Imagine it in front of you and allow your eyes to slowly move along the top, down the side, along the bottom, and back up the other side. For each side, count to four as you slowly inhale, pause, exhale, and pause.

Box breathing relaxation technique: how to calm feelings of stress or anxiety, Sunnybrook Hospital

Learn grounding strategies that work for you. There are many different grounding strategies that can help. Often they fall into three categories: mental grounding, physical grounding, and soothing grounding.

Practise progressive muscle relaxation. This is a very helpful technique that you can practise on a regular basis. It is a way to intentionally relax different parts of your body. Specifically, if you are tense physically, this allows you to purposely tighten each section of your body, hold it, and then relax those sections. Many people find this helpful to do at either the start or end of the day.

Mindful Breathing: Progressive Muscle Relaxation, American Lung Association

Learn more about healthy boundary setting. Sexual harassment is a violation of your boundaries. Often, people find these experiences make it harder to have clear boundaries in different areas of their life.

Take your time. It is important when talking about the trauma to move slowly and keep checking in with yourself about how you are feeling. Even while reading this article or other material on this website, give yourself time to notice certain emotions or physical sensations, and take breaks as much as needed.

Practise self-compassion. There is a great website by Dr. Kristin Neff that has a lot of different self-guided resources on self-compassion. Often these can be hard to initially access, so try a few exercises before deciding if they’re the right fit for you.

You may find you’re having trouble recovering from the trauma you’ve experienced. That can happen if the harassment was really bad, or if the trauma related to it is stacked on top of lots of previous unresolved trauma, like if you had a difficult childhood or have experienced a lot of adversity as an adult. Consider reading books about trauma, like The Body Keeps the Score, by Bessel van de Kolk.

If you’re concerned about the level of trauma you’ve experienced and are feeling overwhelmed, consider trying to access a support group or individual therapy. We know it can be hard to find professional help. Consider calling a hotline where you can talk with a trained counsellor. Or call 211, which may be able to help you access professional support. Or check out our Resource Roulette, where you can find links to books, quizzes, podcasts, and other forms of media that may help you.


Imagine you wake up one day to find a raccoon in your house. You don’t like this raccoon; it’s smelly, it’s unfriendly, and it’s making a mess. You want to get rid of it, but you don’t know how.

Seriously, you have no clue what to do with it.

It starts running around, breaking things, and causing problems.

Desperate to do something, you decide to turn off the lights. The raccoon is still here, but at least for a few moments you can ignore it and pretend that everything is okay.

For a while things feel normal and you can tell yourself there’s no raccoon in your house.

But something doesn’t feel right.

Eventually, the lights come back on. You see that the raccoon is indeed still in your house and has made a worse mess.

Turning off the lights didn’t actually help. It just gave you a moment to pretend that the raccoon wasn’t there.

You really want this raccoon to leave, but, again, you don’t know what to do.

You worry that the raccoon might never leave. This feels really scary and overwhelming.

Not knowing what else you can do, you turn off the lights again.

The next time the lights come back on, you realize the raccoon has caused even more damage. What’s worse, it isn’t alone. There’s now a skunk in your house, too.

You rush to turn off the lights. You try to pretend that the raccoon and skunk have gone, but there’s a part of you that knows it’s only a matter of time before the lights come back on. Even while the lights are off, the animals are still there. The longer they stay hidden in your house, the more damage they will likely cause.

Later, when the lights come back on, you can hardly recognize your home. The raccoon and skunk have caused a lot of damage, and there are now a fox, two deer, and three squirrels running around.

You realize this pattern of shutting off the lights isn’t helping anything and, in fact, is only making things worse.

The trouble is you still don’t know how to get these animals out of your home.

You feel stuck, but you promise yourself you’re going to stop turning off the lights.

You decide that you need to learn a new skill. Maybe you read about getting animals out of the house, or maybe you talk to someone who has experience in it. Maybe you think back to other times when you had animals in your home and what worked then. Maybe you imagine what advice you’d give to a friend who has animals in their home.

Somehow, you start to figure it out.

Keeping the lights on, you find ways to safely listen to the animals and understand what they need. Slowly you realize that, by listening and trying to understand why each animal is there, you’re able to pay better attention to their needs. Eventually, the animals end up leaving on their own terms.

Some of the animals take a bit longer than others, but eventually they all go.

But the truth is your house is going to have animals in it again. In fact, it’s supposed to have animals come in from time to time.

What’s different is that now, when the animals come back into your home, you have a better sense of how to respond. You don’t need to ignore or distract yourself. The lights can stay on. Instead, you listen and try to understand them and why they showed up.

Reflection

What are the uncomfortable emotions (raccoons) that you try to distract yourself from?

How do you distract from emotions—turn off the lights (alcohol, gambling, video games, sex, shopping, drugs, work, exercise, social media, taking care of others, food, etc.)?

If you decided to stop turning off the lights, what else could you do?


Tip

You may not agree with all these strategies, or find them all relevant. That’s okay. Not everything will work for every person. We hope some of these will work for you. Consider this to be like a toolbox. If one tool doesn’t work, another one might.

  1. Know that you’re not alone.

    Sexual harassment is incredibly common. It happens to so many people. If you think about five people you know, it’s a near certainty that at least one of them (and probably more) has been sexually harassed. But people don’t talk openly about harassment and that means, when it happens to us, it’s very common for us to end up feeling isolated and alone. If you’re feeling that way, you may find it helpful to read about other people’s experiences. If you find it triggering to read about actual harassment, try to find material that focuses on how people feel afterward, how they handled it, and how they moved forward.

  2. Know that it’s not your fault.

    You didn’t do anything to cause the harassment, and it was not your fault. For many people, this is really hard to believe. But it’s incredibly important. What happened to you was not your fault. You did not cause it. You didn’t do anything wrong. The person who did something wrong is the person who harassed you. If you are finding you are blaming yourself, please read our article on why we blame ourselves and what can help.

  3. Consider the mental health effects of your decisions.

    You are probably facing some decisions. Will you report what happened? Will you just stay at work and try to cope? Will you quit your job? The decisions you’re making will have effects on your mental health. It can be tempting to just sweep that aside and figure you’ll cope okay. But your health and happiness matter. When you’re deciding what to do, we urge you to prioritize your own mental health and wellness.

  4. Learn more about trauma and its effects.

    Sexual harassment is often traumatic and can lead to different reactions. It is common for people to feel differently afterward, or to say they don’t feel like themselves anymore. By learning more about trauma you can better understand why you may be experiencing certain reactions and how you may be able to better cope.

  5. Find a breathing strategy that works for you.

    The purpose of breathing exercises is to help calm yourself when needed. Box breathing is an exercise where you imagine a square in front of you and move your eyes slowly along the sides of the box to the count of four seconds for each side. With the first side inhale as your eyes move up alongside the box. Then hold your breath while moving along the top of your box. Next, as you move down the side of the box, exhale slowly to a count of four. Finally, as you move along the bottom of your box, hold your breath for a final count of four. If this feels too complicated, you can just take in a deep breath and then slowly exhale. Repeat this until you start to feel more calm.

  6. Pay attention to your body and where you are feeling different emotions.

    By paying more attention to your physical sensations, you may better understand how you are feeling. You may notice muscle tightness, changes in your breathing or heart rate, heaviness or lightness, nausea, headaches, or other sensations that help you to better notice certain emotions. By understanding more how your body feels during different emotions, you can be more aware of how you are feeling both physically and emotionally.

  7. Try not to judge your feelings.

    There is no “right” or “wrong” emotional response. Instead, try to remember that your emotional reactions make sense and can tell you more about your experience. Notice if you are using “should” a lot. This can show up in different ways, including “I should be feeling better by now,” “I shouldn’t be feeling this way,” or “I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but I should feel ____.” Often the word “should” is a helpful indicator that you are judging yourself for feeling the wrong way. Instead, accept your emotions as helpful indicators of how you are experiencing different situations.

  8. Recognize the difference between genuine guilt and false guilt.

    Genuine guilt occurs when you’ve done something wrong, either intentionally or unintentionally. It’s a guide to help you understand your values and ethics. False guilt feels like you’ve done something wrong, even though you haven’t. While genuine guilt can push us to action, false guilt keeps us stuck, because there isn’t anything for us to atone for. It can be helpful to ask yourself, “Have I done something wrong, or do I just feel like I’ve done something wrong?” Often people feel a false sense of guilt after experiencing sexual harassment. Remember that what happened to you was not your fault.

  9. Understand your emotions.

    After we’re harassed, our emotions can be really confusing. If you’re finding it difficult to identify how you are feeling, there can be many ways to start. Find a time in your day when you ask yourself, “How am I feeling right now?” Use a feelings wheel to identify different emotions. Or start with the five primary emotions (joy, anger, sadness, disgust, and fear). Ask yourself, “Which of these five (or combination of them) am I feeling right now?” Some people find it helpful to journal their emotions, while others find it better to say them out loud to a friend, pet, or even a plant.

  10. Be careful of comparative suffering.

    Sometimes we tell ourselves that other people have things much worse than we do. Or other people will tell us that, in an attempt to cheer us up. Please be cautious about this. Comparing ourselves to other people who “have it worse” may feel like it will help us be stronger or more brave. But it can also make us feel undeserving or ashamed about our own feelings. Another person’s pain or hardship has nothing to do with yours: one doesn’t strengthen or lessen the other. Everybody is entitled to their own feelings.

  11. Seek support.

    If you’re struggling, it can be hard to talk with others. It’s not necessarily fun. We don’t necessarily want to. But it can be incredibly helpful. The key here is to pick people who care about you and who you can trust. You can also make choices about what you share or how much detail you provide.

  12. Tell people how to help you.

    Sometimes you need an empathetic listener, while other times you may need a fun distraction or practical help. People in your life may not know what you need. Take a moment to figure out what kind of support you want and then tell people what that is. It’s okay to ask different people for different kinds of help, and it’s okay to want different things at different times.

  13. Pay attention to your needs (and remember they can change).

    Try to get into the habit of asking yourself what you need. There are lots of things you might need, like safety, rest, food, movement, support, validation, or justice. You might need to be believed, or cared for, or understood. Your emotions can be a helpful indicator, so the more you get in touch with your feelings, the more you may understand what your needs are.

  14. Balance pushing yourself and letting yourself rest.

    Sometimes you need to challenge yourself to take care of yourself, by doing things like working, exercising, eating, or cleaning. Sometimes, though, you need to be kind to yourself when you are struggling and just need rest. It can be hard to know which you need when, so pay attention to what helps you feel better. One approach can be to try to do one thing each day that helps you feel productive and one thing that you enjoy. Depending on your energy level on a given day, you may be able to push yourself to do more or less. Something as simple as brushing your teeth can count as your “productive task” that day, while something as brief as listening to a favourite song you haven’t heard in a long time can be an easy way to have an enjoyable moment.

  15. Look for opportunities for an upward spiral.

    Often, behaviours lead to other behaviours. If you are struggling to sleep well, that may lead you to feel low in energy and unable to make a healthy meal or exercise. Over time, each habit can contribute to making other things more difficult. However, the reverse is also true. Each time you take care of yourself and make a healthy choice, it becomes easier to do the next positive thing for yourself. With this perspective, you can realize that even a small change can have a big impact on your overall well-being.

  16. Seek professional help if you need it.

    If you are in crisis, and especially if you’re at risk of hurting yourself, it is important to seek professional help—for example from a therapist, nurse, or doctor. But we know it can be really hard to access this type of help. If you can’t talk with a therapist, nurse, or doctor, you can call a crisis line. Canada has a national suicide prevention helpline that you can either call or text, and, from there, they may be able to direct you to other resources. Similarly, there are regional helplines for anyone experiencing gender-based violence. You may also want to explore peer-support groups, mutual aid groups, or self-help resources. You can also call 211.

  17. Know that that there is no set timeline for when you will feel better.

    If you have a setback or a low day, remember that recovery is not a straight line. Artists like @lizandmollie can help illustrate some of this. After a setback, it may feel like you are “back at square one” but there are always things you have learned from your past experiences. For this reason, you can never fall back to the beginning, even if it feels like you may have. If you regressed a bit, know that you can make progress again.

  18. Find ways to rebuild trust with safe people.

    If you’ve been sexually harassed, you’ve been betrayed. This can leave you feeling like trust has been broken between you and many people or systems in your life. We urge you to allow yourself time to rebuild trust with those who demonstrate care for you. It can also be helpful to form new relationships with others in your life who have not hurt you.

  19. Connect with something bigger than you.

    When we’ve been traumatized, connecting with something bigger than ourselves can give us strength. You can spend time outside and connect with nature. Explore or rediscover your spiritual or religious beliefs. Listen to, or create, music. Join an advocacy group or other community group with people you can relate to or who you want to spend time with. Finding connection to something larger than yourself can be powerful and inspiring.

  20. Find your own path.

    People who’ve been sexually harassed will often receive a lot of different competing advice (including here, from us!). This can be confusing. We urge you, above all else, to trust yourself and your own instincts. If someone is suggesting something that doesn’t feel right to you, or that you believe isn’t in your best interest, please honour that intuition. You may still benefit from asking others for suggestions or advice, but please remember that every decision is ultimately up to you. This is true for choices you may make about your career, about reporting, and also about taking care of yourself. You are the best expert on yourself and your own life, and we urge you to trust yourself.


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