Here are the 21 most important things we learned.
1. Workplace sexual harassment is extremely common.
It’s hard to know exactly how many people get harassed at work, because sexual harassment is so stigmatized that people don’t talk about it much. And sometimes people don’t describe what happened as sexual harassment, even when it meets the legal definition of the term.
That said, most surveys and studies find that somewhere between one-quarter and one-third of people say they’ve been sexually harassed at work. We estimate that about 70% of women and 15% of men have experienced workplace sexual harassment at some point in their lives. When it comes to people who are visibly queer, it’s probably closer to 100%.
2. People who are harassed often minimize what’s happening or decide it doesn’t “count.”
People often go through a period in which they’re not sure if what they’re experiencing counts as “real” sexual harassment.
We think this is because media portrayals of harassment tend to show only one kind of very blatant harassment: a male boss groping or propositioning his female subordinate. We think that’s why people don’t necessarily immediately recognize sexual harassment when they see it, because it doesn’t look like what they’re used to seeing in the media.
In real life, hostility-based harassment is more common than desire-based harassment. Verbal harassment is more common than physical touching. Harassment by co-workers and customers is more common than harassment by bosses.
3. Most people who’ve been sexually harassed don’t identify that way.
We asked people who’d been harassed whether they felt like the word “survivor” applied to them and more than 60% said no.
We think that’s because those people either didn’t experience harassment as life-changing or didn’t want to make it a central part of their identity even if it was life-changing.
4. Who do we tell we’ve been harassed? Practically nobody.
In our surveys, 90% of people who’d been harassed told two people or fewer, and half told literally nobody. Nobody told more than 10 people. The person people were most likely to tell was a close friend, followed by a partner, followed by a co-worker.
5. When people tell other people they’ve been harassed, the reaction they get often hurts them instead of helping them.
When a person tells someone they’ve been harassed, it’s very common for them to be told they’re exaggerating or misunderstanding, or even making it up.
If they tell someone at work, it’s common to be labelled a troublemaker and punished for complaining. If they tell someone in their personal life, they might be pressured to report, or to quit their job.
6. When people are harassed, they feel ashamed and blame themselves.
Practically everybody who gets harassed goes through a period in which they feel confused and guilty and ashamed and aren’t sure if what happened was actually sexual harassment. This can last for months or even years, and it happens even to people who say they “know better.”
This is bad because it’s no fun, and also because if the person had fully understood what was happening at the time, they might have handled things in a different way.
7. People who’ve been harassed want to have their experiences validated and affirmed.
When people are being harassed, they want other people to confirm that, yes, it’s harassment, and yes, it’s unfair and not their fault.
Some want to know if what happened constitutes harassment under the law, but most just want to know whether other people agree that what happened was not okay.
8. When they’re being harassed, most people aren’t confident they will be able to handle the harassment successfully.
When they’re being harassed, people go through a period in which they feel confused and unsure, and things seem “murky” or “baffling” or “overwhelming.”
They are not sure how to handle the harassment and are worried they will handle it in a way that makes things worse. Only 27% of our survey respondents said that when they were harassed, they felt confident they would handle it okay.
9. People tend to go online looking for information and advice.
Most of our survey respondents, when they were harassed, went online looking for information or advice.
In fact, it was the most common thing that people did. More people went online than confronted the harasser, told their boss, talked with friends or somebody at work, called a hotline, attended a support group, or spoke with a lawyer.
10. When people went online, they said they were looking for affirmation and validation, information and advice, and other people’s stories.
People wanted to know if what was happening to them was actually harassment, versus whether they were blowing things out of proportion. They wanted to know what they could do to make it stop. They wanted to know how being harassed had affected other people, how they handled it, and if they had any regrets. They wanted help processing their feelings and “getting over it.”
11. People are very interested to learn how other people handled being sexually harassed.
People really want to hear how other people handled being harassed (especially people in similar circumstances) and how it worked out for them.
We think people want this because it helps them feel less alone and isolated, and also so they can learn from other people’s experiences.
12. Most people don’t report.
Most people who are being harassed don’t tell their employer.
It’s impossible to know exactly what proportion of harassed people do report what’s happening, but our surveys suggest it’s about one person in five. The most common reason people give for not reporting is that the harassment wasn’t serious enough. The second-most-common reason is that they think reporting is pointless: their report will be ignored and/or they will be punished for complaining.
13. People are worried that if they report, their workplace will punish them.
People believe that if they report harassment to their employer, their employer will punish them for complaining.
And the research says they’re correct. The academic research (and our own research) says it’s very common for people who report sexual harassment at work to end up being punished.
Some people get fired or demoted or lose shifts, but what’s even more common is for the person to just become “unpopular” at work, including with their boss. They get labelled a troublemaker, and as a result their opportunities for advancement start to shut down, they get frozen out socially, and their work becomes less pleasant overall.
14. People feel pressured to not report.
It’s very common for people to feel pressured by bosses or co-workers to not report sexual harassment.
People told us stories about being asked to sympathize with the harasser (“He has a wife and kids,” “He can’t afford to lose his job”). They told us they felt like they were being told that reporting would waste everybody’s time and would end up ruining the harasser’s life.
This pressure worked. Many people who had been considering reporting told us they changed their minds and didn’t do it.
15. People felt pressured to report.
We were surprised when people also told us they felt pressure to report. People said they felt a lot of pressure to “stand up” and “be brave” and “protect other people” by reporting. They said this pressure came from “women,” “feminism,” “society,” and “everybody.”
People said this didn’t change their actual behaviour: If they weren’t planning on reporting, it didn’t make them do it. It just made them feel bad.
16. People who don’t report feel judged.
When they get harassed, most people’s goal is to handle it in a way that limits the damage. They are trying to not get fired or raped or have their career ruined.
When people tell them to report and they don’t do it, they end up feeling judged as cowardly or selfish or complicit. They feel like they’re being told they are bad feminists who are letting down women.
17. Most people don’t have anybody they trust to give them good advice.
When they were being harassed, most people didn’t feel like there was anybody they could trust to give them good advice.
The advice they got from family members and friends—like to yell at the harasser or immediately complain to their boss—felt naive and unrealistic. And they didn’t trust HR, or anyone at work, to be on their side and give them good advice.
18. Most people chose to stay at work and try to cope without reporting.
What’s the most common thing people do when they’re being harassed? Nothing. Most people stay at work, don’t confront the harasser, keep their head down, and just try to cope.
- More than 50% of people consider quitting their job, and 15% do quit.
- One in four talks informally with their employer, and one in five formally reports.
- 21% confront the harasser directly.
- 8% talk with a lawyer.
- 7% go public.
- One person in 20 takes other action, which might include things like talking with their union, calling the police, or making a complaint to the Ministry of Labour or a human rights commission.
19. Workplace sexual harassment hurts people’s mental health.
It’s very common for people who’ve been sexually harassed at work to have negative mental health impacts such as depression and anxiety.
This is because they’ve been betrayed. As a society, we’ve officially agreed that sexual harassment is not okay. But when people reach out for help, they usually get gaslit or ignored. This is a form of betrayal and it’s bad for our mental health because it leaves us feeling vulnerable and alienated.
20. Workplace sexual harassment hurts people’s careers.
Workplace sexual harassment hurts people’s careers whether they report or not.
If they don’t report, their careers get hurt because they end up needing to make career decisions based partly on safety considerations (like, they may need to quit a particular job, or avoid a particular co-worker, or restrict work-related socializing). Plus, sometimes the harassment hurts their mental health in ways that affect their work.
If they do report, it’s very common for them to be gossiped about, be labelled as troublemakers, and frozen out socially, and also common to be punished in various ways—for example, by getting fewer and worse opportunities.
21. Workplace sexual harassment hurts people financially.
Sometimes the financial impact is immediate and severe: like, a person will get unexpectedly fired.
In other cases, it’s more subtle but still very real. For example, one study of people who quit their job due to harassment found that in their next job, literally all of them were making less money. Because they were seeking a job urgently, they didn’t have time to find something really good.
Researchers say the overall impact of workplace sexual harassment on people’s finances is roughly the same as if they had been seriously ill or injured, or had served time in prison. For people pushed out of well-paid, male-dominated industries, the lifetime costs of sexual harassment are estimated to be about $1.3 million on average.
